August 14, 2013

In Rehab - Part 1

So I had a bit of a failure-to-cope. It's been a pretty rough year, what with the kitten falling off the balcony, and becoming a single mum (er, me, that is. Not the kitten). I was exhausted and overwhelmed and needing to go somewhere to rest and recuperate.

I have previously been to Lilianfels in the Blue Mountains and loved it so much I decided to contact the manager and offer my firstborn in exchange for accommodation. He politely declined my offer, but he did very kindly cut me a deal in return for some Instagrams of my kitten and a promise of eternal gratitude.

REHAB Lilianfels


I decided to go away by myself, as I needed the solitude. Besides, I planned to spend the entire time in the bath, which would make conversation with a friend difficult, or at least rather more intimate than I desired.

I got packed, said a cheery goodbye to the kids and a tearful goodbye to the kitten, and hit the road. Sadly, it did not take long for the trip to take a bad turn. I was sailing down the Great Western Highway singing along to the radio, when I heard a noise, and realised with a terrible shock that a police car with sirens blaring was tailing me.

YES! It was BEHIND ME!!!!

"Oh god, I'm done," I thought. "It's over. They've got me." But then I realised with an even greater shock that I hadn't actually done anything wrong. I pulled over to the left and the police car raced around me.

Clearly, my nerves were a little on edge.

I arrived in the Blue Mountains somewhat frazzled, and decided to have lunch at Leura Gourmet before checking into Lilianfels. I sat in a sunny corner of the restaurant and ate a bowl of pumpkin soup with a crusty bread roll, both of which were absolutely delicious. Still, despite the bowl being as large as my head, I decided I wasn't quite full enough, and so I ordered a rhubarb and apple crumble the size of my torso (although, obviously, a slightly different shape).

I wobbled towards the counter to pay and the friendly cashier took my money. "I'm busting!" I told her dramatically, and she looked at me oddly. It wasn't until I was back in my car that I realised I'd given her the impression that I'd needed to wee, when I'd actually been trying to tell her that I was full.

Clearly, my nerves were still not quite settled.

I continued driving, and soon pulled into the the beautiful grounds of Lilianfels Resort and Spa. I was so excited to be away and on my own that I nearly wept as I checked in.

"I made you two keys," said the lovely Sue at reception. "I know you're staying alone, but I thought... you know... just in case..."

I figured that the chances of me picking up a man were somewhat remote, given that I didn't plan to leave the bath, let alone the resort. Still, it was greatly appreciated .

And then I went up to my room, which looked very much like this. Actually, it looked exactly like this, because it was my room.

LOOK! Someone else made the bed!!!!!!

Also, it had this:

...which I totally would have used if I did any work which I TOTALLY DIDN'T!!!


So I climbed into bed, and the rehab began. But more, much more, was in store.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Note: This is not a sponsored post. I stayed as a guest of Lilianfels at my own request.

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