August 19, 2013

Rehab - Part 2

continued from Part 1...

I climbed into my bed at Lilianfels and had a little nap. The bed was so comfortable and the pillows so soft and the lack of children so indisputably evident that I almost wept (again). And when I woke up I made myself a nice cup of tea then got back into bed and read about 17,000 books.

Okay, I read only one book, but it had a lot of pages.

The soup and crumble from lunch was still making its presence felt, so I decided I needed some exercise, and went out for a little walk. Five invigorating minutes later, I was suitably spent, and headed back to the hotel, and got back into my bed.

There was a knock at the door. It was a man. He was bearing a tray of chocolates. THIS tray.


"Would you like to choose a chocolate?" he asked.

JOKING! "These are all for you!" he said.


"Yes! All of them!" He put them down on the table. "Enjoy!"

Moments later there was a second knock. It was the lovely Sue from reception.

"So, did you find a man to give that second key to?" she asked with a bawdy wink.

JOKING! "We'd like to offer you this complimentary bottle of wine," she said.

I *may* be drinking in bed

OH! How divine. Really?

"Yes! Enjoy!"

My god but I was having a good day. It was clear what I had to do next. I took off all my clothes, did a little happy dance of Oh-My-God-I'm-Alone-With-Wine-And-Chocolates, and hopped into the bath. And there I sat, reading my book and scoffing chocolate strawberries and drinking cab sav and feeling a bit like Paris Hilton.

If, you know, she ate. Which she probably doesn't.

It was heaven.

I was in there. For a long time. Sigh...

After about six hours, when I was pretty much percolated, I was ready to do something energetic. So I got out of the bath and got into my pyjamas. That exhausted me, so I got into bed again. Eventually I found the strength to reach for the room service menu, and after a few more hours, I managed to crawl over to the phone. I ordered my dinner, then collapsed, panting, on the bed. It had really taken a lot out of me.

There was a knock on the door and my meal appeared on a tray. It was tiny and very disappointing.

JOKING! Look at it!

Now THIS is a burger

I ate it in bed watching some rubbish on TV and making little snuffling piggie noises as I delicately crammed my burger and chippies into my face. Awesome.

And then I went to bed. Except that I already was in bed, so I moved into a somewhat more horizontal position, and closed my eyes. With blobs of tomato sauce still on my chin, and the odd chip in my hair. And I fell asleep. I slept for a long time. A looooong time.

When I woke up, it was morning. And Day 2 of rehab began....



  1. "Happy dance...alone with wine and chocolates..." LOL! You paint such an exquisite picture Kerri, that I'm experiencing an extreme case of Lilianfels-envy...I really must go back soon!

  2. It's time for my nervous breakdown!

  3. Absolute heaven! I wish we had Lilianfels in Victoria.

  4. So glad you did what you needed to do for you.
    Way too often we keep putting ourselves last and that is not good for anyone.
    You are a great example of a great mum.xx

  5. It was of course those "little snuffling piggie noises" that I identified with :) JOKING!

  6. Ermagherddd ... meeeeee threeeee!

  7. The only thing that possibly top all that is if Simon Baker knocks on your door in part 3. Did he? *waits on edge of seat*

  8. Simon Baker better turn up or WE'LL be disappointed ;) ;)

  9. Kathy www.yinyangmother.comAugust 19, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    Loving it. Can't wait for Part 3. Living vicariously.

  10. It's fun to be lived vicariously through x

  11. I don't know WHAT you're talking about *oinks*

  12. OH! You are always SOOOOO sweet xxxx

  13. You will just have to come to NSW. End of story.

  14. I said it before and I'll say it again... DO IT!

  15. I loved reading this as I too am having my own 'rehab' next weekend. It will only be one night, but it will be spent exactly as you described...ahhh the excitement that thinking about doing nothing brings

  16. Kerri, you and I can no longer be lovers. Your tastes are way more than I can afford, although the fact you chose a burger rather than a medium rare rib eye fillet steak, is encouraging.....

  17. Well I was right with you (I wish) vicariously enjoying all that exhausting luxuriating, wishing I could take a break from urgently choosing fittings for my new house that we were given almost zero time to do. Then I got distracted by a photo of a big bathroom with giant tiles and chrome tapware... Why didn't you include the bloody shower fittings? Gah.


Thanks! Love hearing from you.

Like it? Share it!