Rehab - Part 2

continued from Part 1...

I climbed into my bed at Lilianfels and had a little nap. The bed was so comfortable and the pillows so soft and the lack of children so indisputably evident that I almost wept (again). And when I woke up I made myself a nice cup of tea then got back into bed and read about 17,000 books.

Okay, I read only one book, but it had a lot of pages.

The soup and crumble from lunch was still making its presence felt, so I decided I needed some exercise, and went out for a little walk. Five invigorating minutes later, I was suitably spent, and headed back to the hotel, and got back into my bed.

There was a knock at the door. It was a man. He was bearing a tray of chocolates. THIS tray.

ALL THE CHOCOLATES

"Would you like to choose a chocolate?" he asked.

JOKING! "These are all for you!" he said.

Seriously?

"Yes! All of them!" He put them down on the table. "Enjoy!"

Moments later there was a second knock. It was the lovely Sue from reception.

"So, did you find a man to give that second key to?" she asked with a bawdy wink.

JOKING! "We'd like to offer you this complimentary bottle of wine," she said.

I *may* be drinking in bed

OH! How divine. Really?

"Yes! Enjoy!"

My god but I was having a good day. It was clear what I had to do next. I took off all my clothes, did a little happy dance of Oh-My-God-I'm-Alone-With-Wine-And-Chocolates, and hopped into the bath. And there I sat, reading my book and scoffing chocolate strawberries and drinking cab sav and feeling a bit like Paris Hilton.

If, you know, she ate. Which she probably doesn't.

It was heaven.

I was in there. For a long time. Sigh...

After about six hours, when I was pretty much percolated, I was ready to do something energetic. So I got out of the bath and got into my pyjamas. That exhausted me, so I got into bed again. Eventually I found the strength to reach for the room service menu, and after a few more hours, I managed to crawl over to the phone. I ordered my dinner, then collapsed, panting, on the bed. It had really taken a lot out of me.

There was a knock on the door and my meal appeared on a tray. It was tiny and very disappointing.

JOKING! Look at it!

Now THIS is a burger

I ate it in bed watching some rubbish on TV and making little snuffling piggie noises as I delicately crammed my burger and chippies into my face. Awesome.

And then I went to bed. Except that I already was in bed, so I moved into a somewhat more horizontal position, and closed my eyes. With blobs of tomato sauce still on my chin, and the odd chip in my hair. And I fell asleep. I slept for a long time. A looooong time.

When I woke up, it was morning. And Day 2 of rehab began....

TO BE CONTINUED...