I have previously been to Lilianfels in the Blue Mountains and loved it so much I decided to contact the manager and offer my firstborn in exchange for accommodation. He politely declined my offer, but he did very kindly cut me a deal in return for some Instagrams of my kitten and a promise of eternal gratitude.
I decided to go away by myself, as I needed the solitude. Besides, I planned to spend the entire time in the bath, which would make conversation with a friend difficult, or at least rather more intimate than I desired.
I got packed, said a cheery goodbye to the kids and a tearful goodbye to the kitten, and hit the road. Sadly, it did not take long for the trip to take a bad turn. I was sailing down the Great Western Highway singing along to the radio, when I heard a noise, and realised with a terrible shock that a police car with sirens blaring was tailing me.
YES! It was BEHIND ME!!!!
Clearly, my nerves were a little on edge.
I arrived in the Blue Mountains somewhat frazzled, and decided to have lunch at Leura Gourmet before checking into Lilianfels. I sat in a sunny corner of the restaurant and ate a bowl of pumpkin soup with a crusty bread roll, both of which were absolutely delicious. Still, despite the bowl being as large as my head, I decided I wasn't quite full enough, and so I ordered a rhubarb and apple crumble the size of my torso (although, obviously, a slightly different shape).
I wobbled towards the counter to pay and the friendly cashier took my money. "I'm busting!" I told her dramatically, and she looked at me oddly. It wasn't until I was back in my car that I realised I'd given her the impression that I'd needed to wee, when I'd actually been trying to tell her that I was full.
Clearly, my nerves were still not quite settled.
I continued driving, and soon pulled into the the beautiful grounds of Lilianfels Resort and Spa. I was so excited to be away and on my own that I nearly wept as I checked in.
"I made you two keys," said the lovely Sue at reception. "I know you're staying alone, but I thought... you know... just in case..."
I figured that the chances of me picking up a man were somewhat remote, given that I didn't plan to leave the bath, let alone the resort. Still, it was greatly appreciated .
And then I went up to my room, which looked very much like this. Actually, it looked exactly like this, because it was my room.
LOOK! Someone else made the bed!!!!!!
...which I totally would have used if I did any work which I TOTALLY DIDN'T!!!
So I climbed into bed, and the rehab began. But more, much more, was in store.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Note: This is not a sponsored post. I stayed as a guest of Lilianfels at my own request.