I went out in search of winter tops because a) all my winter tops are hideous, and b) I was cold. I have no problem shopping for summer clothes - I love shift dresses and will wear them happily every day for three months - but I hate winter wear. Hate it. I inevitably spend the winter months poorly dressed and freezing cold, because I just can't find clothes I like. It's not that there aren't nice things out there, it's just that they're not for me. I am a fussy dresser (think fussy eater, but with clothes) and the list of things I don't wear runs a mile long.
Orange, Tight, Polo Neck. I Am Hyperventilating
My Will Not Wear List
- Heavy winter knits. They scratch and make me too hot.
- Shirts. I cannot wear clothes with collars. I hate really structured clothes and the collars make me feel like I'm choking.
- Crisp fabrics such as linen. They make my skin crawl.
- Cowl necks. They are horrible.
- Polo necks. I am way too claustrophobic. I can't even dress my kids in polo necks; seriously, the very idea makes my neck constrict.
- Scarves. Probably the claustrophobia thing; also I feel like they're wearing me instead of the other way around.
- Polyester. Any man-made fabrics make me sweat.
- Anything tight fitting from the hips up. I wear skinny jeans and leggings, but my top half needs to be in loose clothing. It's not a weight thing - I wear bikinis in summer, I have no issue with my body - I just feel hideously uncomfortable in body hugging clothes.
- Orange, green, yellow, purple. I wear black, white, neutrals, navy, pink and silver. That's it. Other colours are for Wiggles or Teletubbies.
- Applique, beading, lace, leather patches. Just.... no.
- Belts. I would rather wear a bandage around my waist.
- Anything 'tricky' or hard to wear. If the sales assistant has to teach me how to wear it, or it can be worn in several different ways, or it needs to be draped, or belted, or tucked, or anything other than 'slipped over the head' I am out.
- Anything too voluminous. I like loose fitting, but not enormous.
- Anything too long. I am about two foot tall. If I wear long coats or skirts I look like one of the Olsen twins.
- Baggy pants. They make me look like an Oompa Loompa.
- Anything that needs dry cleaning or ironing. Because BusyWorkingMum.
So it is a little limiting. Today, however, I did well. I found a plain black fine knit top, and loved it so much I bought it in cream as well. (Okay, so my mum paid for the cream one. THANK YOU MUM.) I will wear one of them every day and feel well dressed until summer. And then next winter will roll around, and I'll have absolutely nothing to wear again.....
What about you? Are you a fussy dresser?