Kerri's 30 Second Questionnaire. Take It.

Here's something you didn't know about me: I'm very fond of those 30 second questionnaires they print in newspapers. You know the kind. A starlet or a celebrity gardener or a famous chef will answer all sorts of hugely important questions about a variety of terribly weighty topics, ranging from what they are very bad at to what they ate for lunch. And the answers are often desperately clever. Like:

I'm very bad at saying no to chocolates;
I wish I hadn't eaten 27 chocolates last night.
It's not fashionable but I like those 30 second questionnaires they print in newspapers.

Yup.
Genius.
Right.

So it's no wonder I often think I could, ehem, do better. Not only with the answers, like:

I'm very bad at refraining from scaring complete strangers with my Bum Finger;
I wish I hadn't told my landscape architect he has the body of a Chippendale dancer;
It's not fashionable but I like writing witty and superior 30 second questionnaires;
but also with the questions.

So I am going to design some new, riveting interview questions for myself to answer. Just because it's fun. And I can. And no-one else is questioning me.
But they are also for you. So please answer. And contribute your own questions if you like. I'll respond. I promise.
Because it's a darn sight better than questioning myself.

1. Have you ever faced death, and if so, what did you think about? Yes. I nearly bled to death after my youngest was born and was rushed back in for emergency surgery. I was panic stricken & terrified but never once thought of god. I just thought about my kids and how I didn't want them to lose me.
2. What was the weirdest thing that ever happened to you at school? A lesbian English teacher who had a little crush on me once gave me 22/20 for an essay. Two bonus marks for being so fabulous. True story.
3. Have you ever been desperately envious of someone? Yes. I was in love with Josh Goldenbum for 3 years at school and I passionately hated and envied every single girl he 'went round with'. And there were lots of them. But never me.
4. If you met yourself, do you think you would like You? Probably not. We'd be too alike.
5. If you could only eat one food the rest of your life, what would it be? Hot chips.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? No, though I have allowed Toddler to steal many, many Kinder Surprises from the supermarket. And I have never once felt guilty.
7. Rate these in order from hardest to easiest to give up for a year: chocolate, sex, alcohol, mobile phone, TV, computer. TV, computer, chocolate, mobile phone, alcohol, sex.
8. If you weren't with your current partner, who would you be with? Simon Baker. Jeez. Do you not know me at all?