And I'm proud. When I consider what it has taken to get me on that plane tomorrow morning, sans children, I feel an enormous sense of achievement. Enormous enough to justify the generous amount of alcohol I plan to consume on the flight, in the hopes of drowning out the guilt I feel about leaving my kids behind.
So with tears in my eyes, and a vision of Cab Sav in a plastic cup in my mind, here is my checklist:
- Write list of items to pack in suitcase.
- Pack items on list.
- Realise half the items on the list are completely inappropriate, and remove from suitcase.
- Repack suitcase.
- Repeat previous step several times.
- Pour all cosmetics into tiny little bottles to take on the plane.
- Wipe massive spills from numerous tiny little bottles and shudder at the wasted money (see previous blog post on Clinique).
- Cuddle my kids.
- Write extensive lists for my parents and the babysitter regarding kids' schedules, meal preferences and 'treat' allowances.
- Panic about leaving my kids.
- Cuddle my kids.
- Get pedicure.
- Shave legs.
- Become temporarily blinded by dazzling whiteness of legs.
- Attempt to lose three kilos as everyone in LA and NY is really skinny.
- Gain two kilos as a result of failed diet attempt.
- Decide everyone in LA and NY will have to love me for my intellect.
- Buy four big books for the flight (one to read, one spare, and two extra in case either of the first are really crap).
- Buy special 'facial rehydration mist' to spray on face during flight (knowing full well it is just fancy shmancy water).
- Go to doctor to get script for sleeping pills.
- Go to chemist to fill script for sleeping pills.
- Ask chemist what the maximum dose of sleeping pills is.
- Argue with chemist about what the maximum safe dose of sleeping pills really is.
- Ask my husband 17000 times if he has booked the flights and hotel.
- Discover 48 hours before we leave that one of the flights is wrong.
- Discover 24 hours before the flight that I'd forgotten to arrange travel insurance.
- Fix flight and buy insurance.
- Criticise husband for nearly stuffing up flight. Neglect to inform husband I nearly stuffed up insurance.
- Cuddle my children.
- Buy combination locks for suitcases.
- Spend an hour trying to figure out how to use combination locks for suitcases.
- Collect recommendations from friends about where to go / eat / shop in NY. Currently we would have to stay in NY for around a year and a half to get to all the places.
- Cuddle my children.
- Leave.
Speak to you from the United States, people!
