Nearly Gone...

So tomorrow I leave for the States, and I feel I am just about ready to go. I have written a checklist, rewritten it, lost it, written it again, rewritten it, and ticked most of the items off.

And I'm proud. When I consider what it has taken to get me on that plane tomorrow morning, sans children, I feel an enormous sense of achievement. Enormous enough to justify the generous amount of alcohol I plan to consume on the flight, in the hopes of drowning out the guilt I feel about leaving my kids behind.

So with tears in my eyes, and a vision of Cab Sav in a plastic cup in my mind, here is my checklist:

• Write list of items to pack in suitcase.
• Pack items on list.
• Realise half the items on the list are completely inappropriate, and remove from suitcase.
• Repack suitcase.
• Repeat previous step several times.
• Pour all cosmetics into tiny little bottles to take on the plane.
• Wipe massive spills from numerous tiny little bottles and shudder at the wasted money (see previous blog post on Clinique).
• Cuddle my kids.
• Write extensive lists for my parents and the babysitter regarding kids' schedules, meal preferences and 'treat' allowances.
• Panic about leaving my kids.
• Cuddle my kids.
• Get pedicure.
• Shave legs.
• Become temporarily blinded by dazzling whiteness of legs.
• Attempt to lose three kilos as everyone in LA and NY is really skinny.
• Gain two kilos as a result of failed diet attempt.
• Decide everyone in LA and NY will have to love me for my intellect.
• Buy four big books for the flight (one to read, one spare, and two extra in case either of the first are really crap).
• Buy special 'facial rehydration mist' to spray on face during flight (knowing full well it is just fancy shmancy water).
• Go to doctor to get script for sleeping pills.
• Go to chemist to fill script for sleeping pills.
• Ask chemist what the maximum dose of sleeping pills is.
• Argue with chemist about what the maximum safe dose of sleeping pills really is.
• Ask my husband 17000 times if he has booked the flights and hotel.
• Discover 48 hours before we leave that one of the flights is wrong.
• Discover 24 hours before the flight that I'd forgotten to arrange travel insurance.
• Fix flight and buy insurance.
• Criticise husband for nearly stuffing up flight. Neglect to inform husband I nearly stuffed up insurance.
• Cuddle my children.
• Buy combination locks for suitcases.
• Spend an hour trying to figure out how to use combination locks for suitcases.
• Collect recommendations from friends about where to go / eat / shop in NY. Currently we would have to stay in NY for around a year and a half to get to all the places.
• Cuddle my children.
• Leave.

And so far, I've done everything but the last. But I intend to do that tomorrow morning.

Speak to you from the United States, people!