December 8, 2010

Men: How To Get More Sex

Hanging around Twitter (as I am wont to do on a Wednesday morning (using 'Wednesday' in the sense of 'every') I noticed a tweet from the illustrious Carol Duncan about sex. I tend to notice tweets about sex. It's what I do.

After posting a link to this article with the mind-blowing revelation that men never stop wanting sex, Carol posed the question: How can men get more of it from the women they are with?

Well Carol (and to all the men out there whose eyes immediately became transfixed on the screen) - let me offer a few suggestions.

1. Take responsibility for feeding and bathing the kids and putting them to bed. This doesn't necessarily make you look more sexy, but it does allow your partner to take a nice, relaxing bath before sleep time. Being all warm and clean and bubbly and scented and refreshed before getting into bed will make her more inclined to have sex when she slips between the sheets. Oh, and that whole whole 'gratitude sex' thing will kick in too, giving you even more of a chance of getting lucky. You'd better time it carefully, however, because if you take too long with the kids, or she is too quick in the bath, you're likely to find her snoring in the bedroom, and no-one likes to be woken up for sex (at least not after the birth of their first child...).

2. Tell your parter she looks incredibly gorgeous and sexy, even if - in fact, particularly if - she's having a bad hair day and feels fat. If a woman feels attractive, and if she feels ACCEPTED and WANTED for who she is - floppy boobs, flabby tummy, wrinkles and all - then she will feel sexy. And a woman who feels sexy is likely to want to have sex.

3. Have a shower and brush your teeth. Believe me, there is NOTHING appealing about getting into bed with a man who is all sweaty and yucky after a long hard day. We like you clean and smelling nice. A bit of aftershave won't hurt either. As for shaving, well, I personally like a bit of stubble, but then I like a guy who's a bit rough around the edges (and as I ended up with a cleaning living architect, stubble is the best I can do). However, if your partner likes you clean shaven, then for godsake have a shave. In fact....

4. Look the way your partner likes you to look. Wear the kind of clothes your partner likes you to wear, and do your hair the way your partner likes you to do your hair. I mean, think about it. If she likes to see you in jeans and tee shirts, and you're wearing your skivvy tucked into your tracksuit pants, you can't really expect her to ravish you that evening. Likewise, if she prefers you with a Justin Bieber hairdo, and you're sporting a dyed purple mullet, the chemistry just isn't going to happen.

5. Take her to a hotel. The combination of fresh sheets, chocolates on the pillow, room services, and no cleaning or washing to do make hotels about the sexiest place to be in the world. Provided the children are elsewhere, of course. Or at least locked in a different room.

6. If all else fails, get her tipsy on her favourite alcohol (NOT drunk as that will result in 'unconsciousness' rather than 'lovemaking') and feed her chocolates in bed. Works for me. Although I must stipulate - be circumspect about how many chocolates you bring into bed. If you bring a whole box, and your partner is anything like me, you'll have to wait for her to finish the lot. And that can take a long, long time....

23 comments:

  1. I must give credit to @gabfran for her suggestion as to how men can get their woman to have more sex. With them at least.

    I'm a hotel room fan. Give me a nice hotel room and I'm happy. Whether my husband is there or not. Nice sheets, fluffy linen, someone to make the bed ... bliss!

    Oh ... and the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. Do you reckon I could get away with that at home?

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  2. Here's a dead easy one. Have a conversation with your wife. One that doesn't involve grabbing her from behind in the kitchen or touching her boobs. Thinking womans bit of crumpet.

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  3. Number 4 is a classic - nothing sends my libido through the floor quicker than my husband wearing his trusty (read: fugly!) old touch football t-shirt with a pair of old canterburys. I don't care if he IS going out to mow the lawn!

    An number 5 is famous in our house - we have occasional weekends away in which a certain amount of 'hotel sex' is not only likely to occur it is damn near obligatory. In the nicest possible way.

    And can I add a number 7? It is not so much a 'doing' as a 'being' one - as in, "be there" - be present, take a genuine interest in your wife's and children's concerns, and just integrate yourself into the life of the family. Without sighing heavily.

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  4. Sage advice K-Sack! VERY VERY wise.
    x
    muchas_gracias

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  5. Brilliant! Just BRILLIANT! All SIX of these will work on me in a HEARTBEAT!! Thanks for sharing!

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  6. Totally agree with ALL of these.

    Seriously men; all that is required is for you to be a decent, warm, and considerate person.

    That's what we want, and in turn, when we get it, you'll get what you want.

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  7. My biggest bug bear is non-communication. If I say that I like you to phone me and let me know how you are at lunchtime if you don't phone, I get pissed off.

    That's the bare minimimum.

    How to get me into the loving mood? Send me a photo from your phone of a cafe as you walk past saying 'I wish you were with me and we were holding hands and I was feeding you cappucino froth'.
    Something whimsical and romantic will make me fall into your arms.

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  8. From my point of view, initial requirements would be: be gay. Or willing to be gay for a night will suffice.

    That's pretty much it.

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  9. Have just forwarded this post to my husband at work. Will of course keep you updated...

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  10. So Now What: I KNOW, i hate being grabbed while I am up to my arms in soap suds at the sink. Just makes me crabby!

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  11. Love it! The looking after the kids, bathing & putting them to bed, goes a looooong way in this house! Throw in some chocolates and a foot rub and I'm there ;)

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  12. Mine needs to get a vasectomy.

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  13. Mine needs to help me dye my hair blue and maybe help me cut my bangs.

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  14. Good grief! That seems to be a whole lot of things required for the lady to smile favourably upon you. No wonder masturbation's so popular........

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  15. As I was laying in bed with a sinus infection earlier this week I explained to my husband my head was so full of snot to which he said "is that foreplay?"

    once again, you've hit the nail on the head.

    Kx

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  16. Agree wholeheartedly with ALL of those (except the choccie - that tends to be good if I'm NOT getting any)...another fave is if hubby has a good workout. And then showers!

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  17. Generally evidence of actual listening within the last 24 hours will do the trick ;-) Big turn off - having to repeat something for the umpteenth time just because my loving husband appears to be really good at tuning me out.

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  18. Mine would actually start with:
    1. Be in the same country!
    But then you see it's the distance that makes the heart grow fonder. I'll put up with anything that first week he's back. Beyond that your list might come in handy.

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  19. ok...
    the architect

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  20. ok...
    the architect

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  21. Totally agree with ALL of these.

    Seriously men; all that is required is for you to be a decent, warm, and considerate person.

    That's what we want, and in turn, when we get it, you'll get what you want.

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  22. Mine needs to help me dye my hair blue and maybe help me cut my bangs.

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