Men: How To Get More Sex

Hanging around Twitter (as I am wont to do on a Wednesday morning (using 'Wednesday' in the sense of 'every') I noticed a tweet from the illustrious Carol Duncan about sex. I tend to notice tweets about sex. It's what I do.

After posting a link to this article with the mind-blowing revelation that men never stop wanting sex, Carol posed the question: How can men get more of it from the women they are with?

Well Carol (and to all the men out there whose eyes immediately became transfixed on the screen) - let me offer a few suggestions.

1. Take responsibility for feeding and bathing the kids and putting them to bed. This doesn't necessarily make you look more sexy, but it does allow your partner to take a nice, relaxing bath before sleep time. Being all warm and clean and bubbly and scented and refreshed before getting into bed will make her more inclined to have sex when she slips between the sheets. Oh, and that whole whole 'gratitude sex' thing will kick in too, giving you even more of a chance of getting lucky. You'd better time it carefully, however, because if you take too long with the kids, or she is too quick in the bath, you're likely to find her snoring in the bedroom, and no-one likes to be woken up for sex (at least not after the birth of their first child...).

2. Tell your parter she looks incredibly gorgeous and sexy, even if - in fact, particularly if - she's having a bad hair day and feels fat. If a woman feels attractive, and if she feels ACCEPTED and WANTED for who she is - floppy boobs, flabby tummy, wrinkles and all - then she will feel sexy. And a woman who feels sexy is likely to want to have sex.

3. Have a shower and brush your teeth. Believe me, there is NOTHING appealing about getting into bed with a man who is all sweaty and yucky after a long hard day. We like you clean and smelling nice. A bit of aftershave won't hurt either. As for shaving, well, I personally like a bit of stubble, but then I like a guy who's a bit rough around the edges (and as I ended up with a cleaning living architect, stubble is the best I can do). However, if your partner likes you clean shaven, then for godsake have a shave. In fact....

4. Look the way your partner likes you to look. Wear the kind of clothes your partner likes you to wear, and do your hair the way your partner likes you to do your hair. I mean, think about it. If she likes to see you in jeans and tee shirts, and you're wearing your skivvy tucked into your tracksuit pants, you can't really expect her to ravish you that evening. Likewise, if she prefers you with a Justin Bieber hairdo, and you're sporting a dyed purple mullet, the chemistry just isn't going to happen.

5. Take her to a hotel. The combination of fresh sheets, chocolates on the pillow, room services, and no cleaning or washing to do make hotels about the sexiest place to be in the world. Provided the children are elsewhere, of course. Or at least locked in a different room.

6. If all else fails, get her tipsy on her favourite alcohol (NOT drunk as that will result in 'unconsciousness' rather than 'lovemaking') and feed her chocolates in bed. Works for me. Although I must stipulate - be circumspect about how many chocolates you bring into bed. If you bring a whole box, and your partner is anything like me, you'll have to wait for her to finish the lot. And that can take a long, long time....