My Ideal Man

Last night on Twitter, my friend Yvette mentioned that she wished she was married to an editor - presumably because she needed assistance editing something, as opposed to editors being so devastatingly attractive (which is not to say that they're not devastatingly attractive, but that's just the way I read it).

I can tell you right now that I wouldn't want to be married to an editor. Not because there's anything wrong with editors (quite the contrary, some of my best friends are editors (which is actually not true but I'm trying to make a point here)) but because I need editors in my line of work and there is NO way I could work with someone I'm married to. Particularly not the person I'm married to at the moment (and when I say 'at the moment', it is because if we did work together, we wouldn't be married 'in the future').

I couldn't work with my husband for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I wouldn't want to spend that much time with him (I think from 7pm to 8am weeknights and one day on the weekend is the perfect balance), and secondly I think he's really bossy and he thinks I'm really argumentative, and the combination of attitudes just doesn't make for a smooth working relationship.

However, it did get me thinking about the kind of person I would like to be married to (apart from the one I am married to, of course). And my first thought was: A gourmet chef who also loved to do the laundry. It just sounded like that would make for a pretty fun life.

My second thought was that I'd like my laundry-loving gourmet-chef to be able to moonlight as a model, because of the magnificence of his physique and the luxuriousness of his hair, but for him to choose not to, because in his spare time he prefers more cerebral pursuits such as reading philosophy (critically, of course - I don't want someone who blindly accepts any propaganda he is fed), studying architecture, and writing for publications such as The New York Review Of Books and The Australian.

I would also like him to be a self-made millionaire - something to do with internet start-up companies would be good - and to be fabulous with kids, fabulous with parents, fabulous with my friends, and fabulous with me. Oh, and a fabulous lover. But not too 'fabulous'. If you know what I mean.

A couple of other women tweeted about their ideal husbands before the evening was over. Susan wanted an 'independently wealthy orphan who can cook', which pretty much says it all. Rebecca wanted a handyman, which would be useful, but I'm thinking I could afford to pay for a handyman if I married an independently wealthy orphan. And Tara wanted a masseur, child-whisperer, gardening-guru sex god who was also a talented mechanic, Tupperware addict, and social butterfly. Which didn't seem unreasonable at all.

However, Alison's needs were more simple. "I want one that speaks, doesn't fart, cooks and cleans" she tweeted. But, as I haven't come across a man yet who fulfils all those criteria, I suspect that's as hard an ask as any.

Still, the final word must go to Jo.

"Bloody hell," she tweeted. "I just wish I was married!"

Just not to one of our men, baby. Not to one of ours.