September 16, 2009

A Born Again, A Mongoose, & A Very Hot Sausage

So I have returned from my trip to Fiji. And I would wax lyrical about how relaxing and rejuvenating it was, except that I am delirious with exhaustion, having had to wake at the equivalent of THREE AM yesterday to fly home, then having been woken up again super early this morning by THREE KIDS (my god, do I really have so many? I had forgotten....).

However, I can still share with you the highlights of my holiday:

1. NOTHING. Yes, doing nothing. I slept, a lot. I lay by the pool. I sat on our balcony. And when that all got too draining, I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling (and no, I wasn't even having sex at the time). I wanted to remember what it was like to do so much nothing that I got bored. And you know what? It's FANTASTIC.

2. Meeting Langdon, The Born Again. By the pool the first morning, we were devastated to miss out on a Pool Pod to laze in all day. (You needed to wake at about 4am to secure one, which is what my husband did on subsequent mornings.) Then - like a vision, a prophet, Zac Ephron's younger brother - stood Langdon, The Born Again Christian. He offered us his Pod; he had no use for it anymore, he insisted. We were overjoyed. Langdon's halo of golden hair glowed brightly in the sun. My husband and I retreated humbly to the glory of the Pod. Langdon tried briefly to convert us, but whilst we were grateful for his offering, our choice was clear. If being Born Again meant having to relinquish a Pod, we were better off staying as we were.

3. Meeting a Mongoose. Well, I didn't so much as meet it as cross paths with it. And to be honest, until a kindly Fijian man explained what it actually was, I thought it was just a squirrel. But I have never seen a real mongoose before, so this was a most auspicious occasion. It was a fine specimen of a mongoose, too, as far as I could tell. Brownish. Smallish. Squirrel-like, as I may have mentioned. And fast. Highly recommended. You know... if you like that sort of thing.

4. Airplane breakfast. My GOD but I love those meals. So convenient, so nutritionally balanced, so carefully packaged, so much fun to eat. And my meal was hot, instead of luke warm, which was a fabulous change. In fact, it was searing hot, so hot I could have burnt my mouth on the boiling sausage and sued. In fact, maybe I did burn my mouth on the sausage.... it feels a bit tender.....

5. Coming Home. Nah, just checking to see if you were paying attention.

11 comments:

  1. At last someone else that loves the simplicity of airplane meals! Do you also quite enjoy hospital food? It's the whole bento box concept. [Sighs with happiness]

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  2. What, pray tell, is a pool pod? You must remember that I've had to cancel my last two holidays in order to spend that time in hospital, so my understanding of anything vacation-like is fuzzy...

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  3. Oh you poor, poor darling, it all just sounds so awfully strenuous and hideous, I can't imagine how you survived such an ordeal.
    Jealous much ?? Nah, not.one.little.bit.

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  4. I wouldn't know what a mongoose looked like either!

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  5. Amanda I have tried to find an image of a Pool Pod but can't - it's like a round swivelling seat big enough for two, with a roof you pull down over it for shade. It is the poolside equivalent of a clamshell and it is heaven.

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  6. Poor love, you must be jetlagged. Spelling typos, everywhere. Sharpestpencil, would not approve. Welcome back, anyway :-)

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  7. Holiday sounds glorious, I was hesitant to read this post thinking that it was about a born again mongoose wielding a very hot sausage. Pool pods and forest walks are so much more relaxing (I do believe you must have had a forest walk - where else on earth would you see a mongoose?) *runs to check natural habitat of the brown squirrel like mongoose*

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  8. Mongoose!

    Get thee on bended knee!

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  9. I fully understand your sentiment - 3 children, do I really have so many??

    I often feel like I am in that Talking Head's Song - you know? "This is not my beautiful wife, this is not my beautiful house, oh my God, how did I get here?" LOL

    3 Kids - I do love them but...what the HELL was i thinking?????

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  10. I wouldn't know what a mongoose looked like either!

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  11. What, pray tell, is a pool pod? You must remember that I've had to cancel my last two holidays in order to spend that time in hospital, so my understanding of anything vacation-like is fuzzy...

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