If all goes well, by the time most of you read this, I will be on my way to Fiji. And if all doesn't go well, I will still be on my way to Fiji. Come rain, fire, illness, mental collapse or act of war, I am getting on that plane. And let me tell you, if there isn't a plane to get on, I am flapping my arms and flying there myself.
This blog entry was originally going to be titled 'What I plan to do on my holidays' (with thanks to my daughter's Year 2 teacher for the inspiration). Unfortunately, though, it turned out to be a little too short. About nine paragraphs too short. In fact, it ran to just one word: NOTHING.
Yes, this is what I want to do on my holiday. As my husband gets fired up, planning canooing, diving, day tours and Kava drinking ceremonies, I'm fantasizing about being prone on a bed. It's been a chaotic, crisis-filled year (in the tradition of every other year of my life) and I want to relax and do absolutely nothing.
Okay, I exaggerate. I don't really want to do nothing. I want to eat, of course. I want to read. I want to watch TV. I want to have long baths and flick through fashion magazines. And I want to... no, nothing else really, unless sleeping counts as something?
Of course, one may ask why I need to fly for four hours to have a holiday when i could like on a bed reading magazines just as easily in Australia.
Well, it's just not the same thing.
I love travelling to new countries and experiencing different places, cultures and people. I just find that the best way to experience them is through the medium of food, room service and television.
What's more, I can be found in Australia, recalled home in a few hours in the case of crisis - which is, after all, highly unlikely. It's much harder to bring me back from a place accessible only by boat, bus and a long-distance flight.
Sadly, though, I can't see my husband agreeing to do absolutely nothing for the whole five days. Luckily, I still have the flight there. It may be cramped, and the food may be crappy, but at least I'll have nothing to do but sleep.