May 28, 2014

What Lana Knows About Hair

This morning I looked at my hair and decided that if I didn't get it cut in the next hour I would hack it off myself with the chicken shears. I haven't had a regular hairdresser since my beloved *can't remember her actual name since it was three years ago but she was awesome* left to return to the country. So I made an appointment with Lana's hairdresser, because her hair looks great, and it had to be better than the chicken shears.

Ten minutes later I was en route to meet Lana herself before attending my hair appointment. And as I parked the car and walked up to the cafe, I looked down at myself and realised the horrible truth. I was wearing a shapeless white top over a tank top, pared with nondescript jeans and flat boots. It was a disaster. My hair was going to look terrible.

this is what can happen if you don't dress well

I'm not dressed cool enough to go to the hairdresser! I texted Lana, overcome with panic.

Change! she replied, knowing exactly what I meant.

I'll have to buy clothes! I wrote. Or you'll have to swap with me. Do you look cool?

Of course, she responded. Cutting edge. So to speak. 

Well, she didn't look cool, at least, no cooler than me. She was wearing jeans and a plain black top, with Birks on her feet, and there was no way I was going to get a decent haircut in that outfit.

I considered buying something new, but there was no time, and besides, there was no money. Lana was prepared to shout me a coffee, but not a Zara ensemble, not even to guarantee the beauty of my coiffure. I considered stripping down to my tank top to show the stylist my tattoo, so that he would know I was worthy of an of-the-moment look. But that seemed a little far fetched, and there was a nip in the air, and so I trudged to my appointment knowing I was doomed.

Lana knows, as I do, that a hair stylist will only give you the cut he thinks you deserve. If you are daggy, you will get a daggy do. If you are hip, you will walk out looking like Miley Cyrus. If you are me, you will walk out looking pretty much the same as you always do, though with a head full of expensive product you felt too guilty not to buy.

Happily, the hairdresser seemed to accept my assurances that I was very young and groovy, despite all evidence to the contrary. He gave me a lovely cut, leaving me with a bounce in my hair and expensive product in my hand.

But my experience is the exception, not the rule. Listen to me. Listen to Lana. Wear your very best outfit to your hairdressing appointment, and make your stylist believe you are worthy of good things.

My hair is looking nice. But if only I'd worn my cute French top, grey skinny pants and Zara heeled boots, I would have looked fantastic.


  1. Rhonnifer has been cutting my hair for over 20 years now... in fact, she used to cut my hair when we were dating... I would sit on a chair in her front yard (not a euphemism) and she'd cut my hair in front of the neighbours (not a euphemism)... People would yell out "I'm next" as they walked by...

    Ah, young love... ;)

  2. Lana (Sharpest Pencil)May 28, 2014 at 4:21 PM

    Jimmy knows I am cool because of my Birkenstocks #justsaying

  3. Yes, that's just what Jimmy said.

  4. Rockin' the ponytail today! ;)

  5. I've got a hairdressers appointment tomorrow morning ... I'll be sure to get up a couple of hours early and give myself a complete makeover first :0)

  6. This is so true. My husband makes fun of me for this, but it's so true.

  7. Alison - Talking FranklyMay 29, 2014 at 10:39 AM

    What, if like myself, you couldn't rustle up a cutting edge outfit even for the hairdresser? AM I DOOMED? I think I am. Sobs... rocks.... grieves.... (quite pleased that my colour has grown out so far that people assume I've got that ball ballaa... half dyed hair thing going on)

  8. This explains why I've never really had a good haircut in my 50 odd years. My mother's tip was always to wear a considerable amount of makeup so if the haircut didn't turn out at least your face would look okay as you left the salon.

  9. Kathy www.yinyangmother.comJune 5, 2014 at 9:21 PM

    This is so true - and of course what about the pressing need to do your hair before you go to the hairdressers so you don't look too daggy - explain that one!


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