February 10, 2014

#MyFirst... Date

I was a horrible person.

Okay, I wasn't really a horrible person. I was just young. And I was very inexperienced in the Ways of the Male. Or rather, how to deal appropriately with the Ways of the Male.

I was fifteen years old, and on holidays in Surfers Paradise with my parents. I had brought along a friend, and a few other friends of mine were there with various parents. My friends and I had met up one night for dinner at the local Toga restaurant, Roman Scandals. (Yes, the wait staff wore togas. It was considered very Of The Moment.)

Clive and friends

I had some Donelli Lambrusco at dinner, because it was sweet and cheap and that's what we drank (and if you are under 18 and reading this, underage drinking is BAD, as you will learn from this post).

I can't remember the details because a) it was thirty years ago, and b) Donelli Lambrusco, but somehow after dinner I ended up being walked back to our Surfers apartment by Clive the Toga Waiter. Clive was 18 or so - not much older than me - and very cute in the dark, at least when viewed through the prism of cheap, spritzy wine.

I was a little late for curfew, and as Clive waited by the elevator with me, and pressed his 18 year old lips to mine, the lift doors opened, and out jumped my father.

"I have to go!" I cried to Clive, and followed my dad into the lift.

"When did you meet that boy?" my father asked me.

"Tonight," I said sheepishly, and he shook his head.

The next day, I met Clive the Toga Waiter at the beer garden down the road. We had arranged our date when we were pashing, and it had seemed exciting at the time. I had never gone on a formal date before, and Clive looked so cute in the Donelli.

But when I got to the beer garden, and saw him in daylight without his toga (meaning, in shorts and a tee shirt - not naked, for goodness sake), I realised I had made a terrible mistake.

"You want a drink?" Clive asked me, and I shook my head.

"You want some chips?" he tried again, and I shook my head once more.

And so I sat, beside him, not saying a word, as he scoffed his chips and drank his beer and watched the footy game on the telly, thinking no doubt (because I was), "what an absolute little nob".

Then, after twenty minutes had passed, I said "I have to go," and left. And then I ran, and took a shower, and never saw his face again.

So that was my first ever date. Pretty hideous, but memorable. My second (first) date was much, much better.

But that is another story.

Next week's topic: #MyFirst... Agonising Loss of Material Possession


  1. That must be the first time anyone looked better in a toga than their normal clothes... though perhaps I'm imagining the sheet-like togas of University parties!?

  2. What odds the lift doors opening and out springing your dad! ;)

  3. I was much much older than you when I had my first date... but I won't "formally" join in this week's blogging prompt, because I blogged about my first (tragic) date last year in my "Riding on trains with girls" series of posts - and I think many people would have already read that post...

    But for those who haven't read it (or those masochists out there who want to relive the tragedy that was my first date) here its is again: http://bit.ly/1clefmH

  4. Oh to be young again hey?

  5. I was 14, my grandmother had just died and my mother, brother and i had just come back from her funeral interstate. This poor boy had asked me out before my grandmother died but had to postpone it due to me going interstate. We went to the movies, my mum dropped me off and his dad dropped him off, he gave me a little teddy bear that was rather cute. I can't remember the movie we went to see but i do remember him wanting to hold my hand all through it and me being to scared to. The date was good and he was a nice boy, unfortunately my friends did not approve and i sent him a note at school telling him i wasn't interested in seeing him again. How mean i was!

  6. Amazing! I've just written (nearly posted) about my #firstdate with my fiancee and next thing I'm here reading about your first date Kerri! So cringeworthy, thanks for sharing, I can relate...but I was a fair bit older than 15 on some of my cringeworthy dates, oh the shame!

  7. Lambrusco and togas can really enhance a boy's image, especially in the dead of night.

    No time this week for my #myfirstdate post, but suffice it to say, it was awful. I was only 13 and my mother forced me to go as she was friends with the boy's parents and didn't want to offend them :(
    It was a Cadet Ball (big in country towns), I resembled Madame Pompadour (the country hairdresser loved boof), my new dress looked daggy and I was miserable all night!

  8. Ahh the lambrusco..much better than passion pop!
    I can't actually remember my first date as a teenager however the first date I went on after my marriage ended I ended up blubbering and sobbing all the waty through it! It's just dawned on me where I went wrong..no lambrusco!!!!

  9. Awks. Poor Clive. If only he'd thought to wear the toga...

  10. Jo @ BabbleOn City blogFebruary 11, 2014 at 3:22 AM

    Since reading your story earlier today, all I keep seeing in my mind's eye is John Belushi in Animal House, chanting 'Toga Toga Togahhh'. Ohhhh the memories.
    So pleased #MyFirst is back. I've missed it :o)x

  11. A toga making someone MORE attractive? Doomed from the start! Thanks for hosting the link-up. Hoping to play along more often this year.

  12. Haha...oh that's hilarious! I loved this line "Clive looked so cute in the Donelli." :P Gold!


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