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Today's topic is My First... Kiss
I was 14 years old, and I was in the back of a car, being driven to somewhere exciting.
There were a few of us in the car - my bestie, another friend or two, and a boy I'd never met before. A cute boy. A 15 year old. A boy with a whiff of facial hair about his upper lip. We hadn't exchanged any words at that point, but he was in the seat next to me, and he was very close.
The boy's name was Reuben Valentino. And no it wasn't, but I swear to god it was something very similar. He was a Jewish Lothario, a boy with a reputation of a love god, and a slightly Yiddish name to match.
I don't recall where we were going, but I do recall enjoying the ride. I was young and innocent and enjoying being out in a car and feeling the intoxicating power of being 14 years old. I was chatting to my bestie about something terribly exciting, and then I turned my head, and suddenly there was a tongue in my mouth. Oh yes. Reuben Valentino had pressed his prickly face to mine and he had opened his lips and PUT HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH.
For the love of god get that thing away from me!
I got the shock of my life. It took me a few moments to work out that Reuben was actually kissing me. It didn't feel at all like it looked in the movies. It wasn't very nice at all. In fact, it was a bit disgusting. It was like a tepid, fat slug had found it's way into my mmouth and was rolling around in there looking for food. I really wanted it to stop.
I didn't realise I was supposed to have my eyes closed and glanced up to notice the 19 year old driver of the car staring at us in the rear vision mirror. Well, that was awkward. It was bad enough that I had a slug in my mouth, but to have others there to witness my humiliation made the whole experience even worse. Being 14 wasn't so great after all.
The kiss-type thing finally ended, and at some point we climbed out of the car. I can't recall anything else of the evening, but I know we didn't kiss again. I kept well enough from Reuben to make sure of that. But I was rather anxious about his expectations. How could I explain to Reuben that I didn't want a relationship? How could I break up with him when we'd never actually started going out?
Well, I needn't have worried. The next day, I got a phone call at home*.
"Kerri? It's Reuben."
My tongue contracted in horror.
"I hear you just want to be friends. So we'll be friends, yeah?"
"Er.. yeah. Thanks."
And that was the last of Reuben and his tongue, though I am sure it graced many a happy mouth in its time.
Postscript: About 3 or 4 boys later, I started having excellent pashes. Sometimes you need to kiss a few slugs to get to your prince.
*Well, of course it was at home. It was the 80's. We didn't have mobiles in those days.
Next week's topic: My First... Bestie