September 27, 2013

Over The Fence. Kumbaya!

So I am living in a very nice little apartment in a very nice part of Sydney. I am lucky enough to have a balcony, upon which a tree that I have not yet* killed is living in a pot, and I have a courtyard off my bedroom, in which numerous plant-creatures flourish**.

It is a quiet block of four. Both the upstairs neighbours are single people in their... I don't know. A bit older than me? My downstairs neighbours are a Rabbi and his wife. They are charming people. Everyone in the block is quiet (except for my kids, but there are only so many hours of the day one can put duct tape across their mouths).

It is a quiet suburban street so there is no traffic noise. Sometimes the only sound I can hear is my own breathing, the washing machine whirring, the dishwashing dishing, the cat purring, the printer printing, my fingers typing... Okay, so there are lots of sounds but none of them are offensive.

But then there are the Back Neighbours. The Back Neighbours live in a house behind my apartment. They seem to be lovely people. They don't pillage, or rape, or burn effigies, or throw water balloons at my property. But they drum. They drum ALL THE TIME.

Now, they don't drum like rock stars. I mean, that would be bad, but it would be Call-The-Police bad and it would be over and done with in an hour. Nor do they drum on those electronic drum kits that can be plugged into headphones and NOT HEARD. Because that would be awesome. (And also? Best. Invention. Ever.)

No. They drum like hippies. Because they are hippies. Yes. I am living a soap opera. A soap opera called My Neighbours Are Hippies!
He Looks Like My Neighbour!
My neighbours live in a commune of sorts. They light bonfires at night and sit around it holding hands. Yes, people really do that! They string laundry from trees, and wear clothes made from hemp and hessian sacks (from what I can see over the fence). They play bongo drums in harmony until the wee small hours, several of them, gathered around the fire. They even have two large tents pitched in the overgrown back yard, from which people emerge, sleepily dishevelled, when I am getting the kids ready for school.

I am hoping they use the toilets inside the house. I don't know.

My neighbours are hippies, and they play the bongos. And I could call the police, but they would just charm them with their herbally shmerbally ways, and my neighbours and the police would end up holding hands and singing Kumbaya together whilst roasting marshmallows. So no point really.

But if anyone has a very loud acoustic guitar, or perhaps a karaoke machine, or even a dude who does a good impersonation of Meatloaf who could hang out on my balcony for a few hours every night and give my neighbours a run for their money, I'd appreciate it if you gave me a call.

*I will. Trust me. Time.
**I do not know the difference between the various plant-creatures. Some may actually be weeds. But the overall impression is green.

28 comments:

  1. Can I interest you in a nice quiet house in Florida? It does have a resident alligator who appears from time to time in the pond behind the house. Seems I just came in possession of this residence. And this is a plus ... it's right near Disney World!

    No?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Kerri. I understand. The bongo drums - my old neighbours had them. They would play the bongo drums to lull their babies to sleep at all hours of the day and night. (And it WORKED - which is probably the most surprising thing ever.) Thankfully, I had another neighbour who played the piano beautifully at socially appropriate times (like 2 o'clock in the afternoon). When we moved house a few years ago, I actually asked her if she and her piano could move with us. She laughed at me as if I was joking......

    ReplyDelete
  3. My neighbours need to come over to annoy your neighbours and then we'd both be happy! Mine thinks he's the next Jimi Hendrix. He is wrong. He doesn't care.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kerri, play Bing Crosby cds at loud volume. It seems to work, to keep rampant kids out of shopping centres.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the idea of an opera singer on your balcony! I have neighbours who drum as well! Not very well, unfortunately but they practice so much that by now you'd think they would be. I can't bring myself to call the police either, not because they are charming hippies, but the mother of the drummers once found my beloved doggies who had got out after I left for work and brought them back to me that evening. She told me they'd had a lovely day laying in front of the fire and playing with her dog! How can I send law enforcement in on such a wonderful person? Bring on the singing...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am the noisy neighbour. Well, not your noisy neighbour Kerri, but I am "that" neighbour. It's all my fault, even though most of the noise comes from my kids. See, I live in a beautiful, quant little village in the north queensland tablelands. We've been here since the start of the year, but prior to this, since I separated from ExMrBB, we've lived out in a very remote, rural community. My kids are little bush kids, meaning they are LOUD. (They also never wear shoes and the little one has an aversion to clothing, but that's another story). They grew up climbing the tree in our front yard and hollering to the kids in the next yard, approximately 200 metres away. Our afternoons were spent playing street soccer, yelling at the opposition from the next street. With lots of wide open spaces and not a lot of people around, you need to holler pretty loud when you call them in for dinner. So now we've moved into civilisation, and our neighbours have spent the year listening to my childrens' voices echoing down the street, through the valley and around the town. I never realised until we moved here, because out in the bush, that's how everyone talks. Plus, I am a yeller. And not a polite one either. My neighbours (12 doors down) are quite used to "If you kids don't get inside right now I'm going to open up a can of whoopass!!" emulating from my kitchen walls each night at about 6pm. So really, if you had to choose between my family and a mob of hippies with bongo drums, I'd go the bongo drums.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My little brother got a REAL drumset when he was 14. He was allowed to play from 5 pm to 6 pm. And boy, did I make sure that I was absent at that time. I have had an aversion to loud music not of my choosing ever since ... Good luck with the bongos!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you. At least your brother only played for an hour!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Can of whoopass? BRILLIANT!!!! PMSL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh no!!! You are indebted to them forever!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. But darling, then I WOULD HAVE TO LISTEN TO BING CROSBY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh DIVINE!!!!! Tevye on my balcony!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL. No-one is the next Jimi Hendrix. Certainly not your neighbour. Or my neighour. Or ANYONE's neighbour.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Surely there are drugs involved. Some pot? Something requiring police attention!? Bloody hippies.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Seriously??? BONGOS to put BABIES to sleep?

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm old, honey, but not quite ready for FLORIDA yet!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm pretty sure the tents are illegal...

    ReplyDelete
  18. *Nodding* now that's a good thought. Could be a safety risk in tumultuous weather.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I generally have a soft spot for hippies but all that bongo-banging happiness in the early hours must rankle. One good thing about hippies is that they tend to be transient although yours do seem settled in! Have you invested in a cheesecloth top yet?

    ReplyDelete
  20. It's nice for the kids to be shown that it takes all kinds to make a world.
    I'm lucky to have very quiet neighbours. In our area it's me that sounds like a fishwife when my oppositional kids don't do as they're told. If only they would learn to follow instructions....sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Tents in the backyard. Arh, camping is never a good thing even you are a hippie and sleeping in someone else's backyard.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Just inhale deeply when the wind is blowing your way, Kerri. Clinton didn't inhale and look at the trouble he got in!



    All joking aside...I'd hate to live next door to noisy neighbours! It would drive me insane within a week...a day...two at the most!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I will happily swap with you?



    Hippies with Bongos vs the lovely Maoris above us who play the drums LIKE ROCKSTARS for a couple of hours a day. Yes he IS getting better but I don't need to hear it for hours day after day.


    Yesterday - it started around 1.30pm, practice. Then off and on til around 7pm and then a party in the early evening followed by a seemingly full concert performance complete with wahooing after every set, til midnight.


    Yup I'll take your bongo playing hippies ANY day! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I will switch. My neighbor is in an actual rock band, and he is also a deejay. He comes home drunk very late at night (early in the morning) with his very loud music playing. His band also practices several nights per week. Sometimes they do it in the backyard.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Lisa @ Blithe MomentsSeptember 30, 2013 at 5:20 PM

    I have the drums - accompanied by the bad guitar playing of a teenage wanabe band and then followed by the screaming match with the slightly deranged often drunk mother of said teenager. Hippies sound pretty good compared to that but I still wish you evening storms to drive them inside and drown out the drumming.

    ReplyDelete
  26. We were in Sydney on the weekend and plonked ourselves down at Manly beach right next to a group of hippies. All good. Until they pulled the ukulele and bongo's out!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Maybe hippies but ... http://mobile.news.com.au/finance/small-business/dwayne-martens-is-the-founder-of-amazonia-a-multi-million-dollar-health-empire/story-fn9evb64-1227322864221

    ReplyDelete

Thanks! Love hearing from you.

Like it? Share it!