Cat of a Neurotic

Call me crazy (no, don't really, that was just a turn of phrase) but when Penelope the cat woke up with a big white scab on her nose, I could only draw one conclusion.

Cat melanoma.

My name is Penny, and I'm a Cat of a Neurotic

Now, it didn't matter that Penelope is only 12 weeks old. Melanoma can develop in the very young. It didn't matter that I didn't know if cat melanoma could develop in the very young. It didn't matter that I didn't even know if cat melanoma was a thing.

Lack of knowledge has certainly never stopped me from worrying before.

It did, however, matter that Penelope has never been outside. Once I realised this I was forced to revise my diagnosis. Even I know that melanoma is caused by the sun.

And so there was only one other conclusion to draw.

Ringworm. My cat had ringworm. And ringworm was very, very bad.

Now, Penny's nose didn't look a lot like the noses of ringworm cats. I know this because I Googled ringworm, and found some revolting pictures. Clearly, Penny had an atypical case of the Ringworm Nose. And obviously, atypical cases are going to be far, far harder to treat.

The really worrying thing was that the kids and I were going to get ringworm too. Google said it could happen, and if it could happen then it's totally going to. And ringworm in humans is absolutely gross. It can cover your whole body, like a plague of, well, worms, which is not a good look when you go to school pickup. I had visions of the kids and I, stuck at home for weeks like lepers, with ringworm ravaging us from head to toe.

I knew I had to bite the bullet and go to the vet, who could seal my fate before the horror set in.

So off we trudged, the kids and Penny and I. I braced for the bad news. I was ready. I was primed.

And guess what? The cat has the flu. The garden variety flu, of the feline kind. No melanoma. No ringworm. No leper colony. No disaster.

Either Google knows nothing, or I was searching the wrong term.

'Cat of a Neurotic' might have been a better place to start.