June 25, 2013

A Slight Overreaction.

The other night a friend of mine cancelled an arrangement.

"Sorry," she texted. "Can't make it. Work problem. Speak soon."

She sounded... well... curt. Clearly she was cross at me.

But why? I couldn't think of anything I'd done. I wracked my brains, trying to work out if I had offended her in some way.

And then I remembered. Her daughter Tali had been at my house the previous day playing with my child. I had fed them some biscuits and let them play computer for two hours. Tali had been delighted.


"I wish my mum would let me do this," she said.

"Yes, well, clearly I'm a better mother than her," I told her. I was joking, of course.

But obviously, she thought I was serious.

And obviously, she had told her mum.

And obviously, her mum was furious with me.

And hell, why on earth wouldn't she be?

I felt sick. I texted my friend straight away. "Are you cross with me?" I wrote. "I'm so sorry! I really was just joking!"

There was no response. I felt even sicker. I paced. I drummed my fingers on the table. I thought about turning up at her house to apologise in person. Maybe I should send flowers? Or a basket of fruit? Or hire an aeroplane and write an apology across the sky?

An hour later, my phone beeped. "What are you talking about?" she wrote. "I really do have a problem at work. And I thought you were mad at me!"

We are going out tomorrow instead.

Do you ever overanalyse relationships????

28 comments:

  1. Always. All the time. ALL. xo

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  2. Oh god yes. Brains are STUPID. (Please don't be mad at me). ;-) x

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  3. Oh, I do that sort of thing ALL OF THE TIME. It was worse when I worked as I was almost paranoid. If someone was grumpy I assumed I was to blame or they were shitty at me or thought me crappy at my job. It was rarely (if ever?!) the case. (Self-absorbed much?! I had to ask myself!)

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  4. Lara at This Charming MumJune 25, 2013 at 1:59 PM

    Great post! It's especially dangerous in the world on electronic communication with its inherent lack of nuance! I'm always fretting about abrupt replies.

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  5. Yes! Damn this digital world. It is why I am a serial abuser of emoticons :)

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  6. Yes! Always. Because I read between lines when there aren't enough lines for my brain to play with. Twitter KILLS me. Also, naturally, because everything is all about ME.

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  7. See, Kerri ? This is why I don't do Twitter, any more. Even I thought I sounded like a smart arse.... :-)

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  8. Relationships, texts, emails, conversations that happen, conversations that never happened, television shows, the way the grains of rice scatter when I drop the container, cloud patterns...

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  9. YES!!!!! I totally relate to that!!!

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  10. Oh that is HILARIOUS. Except that your daughter hasn't been at my place. Because you don't have a daughter. And your son hasn't been at my place.....

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  11. Yep. I INVENTED catastrophising! (the action, not the word...)

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  12. Yep. Was even worse when I had a normal job!

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  13. GOD yes. It's soooo easy to misinterpret written communication.

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  14. Ha! :-) :-)))))))))))))))))) :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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  15. I overanalyze every single relationship. Recently a friend asked someone besides me to drive her to the airport. Clearly she hates me.

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  16. Oh totally. Unless, perhaps, she didn't want to bother you? Or you're a really bad driver??????? x

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  17. (that sound was my brain exploding)

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  18. I overanalyse the overanalyse. It does my head in.

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  19. I've had situations when I worry that my friend is worried that I'm mad at her and so she's over analyzing the situation and causing herself undo worry.

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