Last night I went out to dinner with two of my male friends.
We ate steak and chips (apparently this is what men do) and we played my
favourite game (which was only fair, because the men got their steak and
chips).
My favourite game does not involve dice or a board, because
board games are excruciatingly boring (and besides, I always lose). In my
favourite game, absolutely everyone wins, because that is the point of the
game, and what makes it so thrilling.
It is The Lottery Game.
You’ve all played The Lottery Game. I’ve played it dozens of
times. And yet each time, the game is a little more exciting, and each time, my
imagination runs a little more wild.
Last night’s version of The Lottery Game began as it always
does. With a question.
“Do you ever just
wonder what life would be like if you won ten million dollars?”
“YES!” I yelled, practically jumping off my chair, and
choking on a chip in my zeal.
“Um… okay,” said my friend Rich*, recoiling slightly in his
chair. I realised that the question had been posed rhetorically, and I tried to
regain my composure.
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“I have too,” said my friend Buck** happily, and shovelled
in another bite of cow.
“What would you do?” I asked.
“I’d play guitar all day.”
Hmmm. I figured I’d just hire someone to play guitar for me
with all my money, but perhaps I was missing the point.
“And what about you?” I asked Rich, who was gazing wistfully
into the distance.
“I’d get a butler!” he pronounced, and it sounded eminently
sensible.
“Which would give me time to spend up to three hours a day
in the gym,” he continued, and I decided that my friend was seriously unhinged.
“And I would travel!” he added, which was redeemed him a
little. “I would travel through Europe, and backpack through India, and…”
No no no no.
“Why would you backpack through India?” I demanded. “You’d
be a multi-millionaire! You could stay at the best hotels! You could hire
people to carry your luggage!”
“But I like backpacking,” he said shamefully, and the table
fell silent.
“What about you?” Buck asked me finally, and I was very glad
he did.
“Well firstly,” I announced, “I would get staff for absolutely
EVERYTHING.” My eyes began to glaze over as I warmed to my topic. “I would get
a maid, and a chef, and a chauffeur, and a nanny. I don’t want to do ANYTHING
that looks like work, EVER again.”
My fantasy began to overwhelm me, and adrenalin surged
through my body. “I want to play with my kids, but not have to lift a finger! I
want to sleep until noon and then read in the bath! And I want to get a massage
every day of my life. A two hour
massage. No. A three hour massage!
And then another bath!”
I stopped. I realised that I was bouncing in my chair, and clapping
my hands with glee. And Buck and Rich were staring at me as if I was totally
deranged.
Sometimes, it seems, even The Lottery Game can produce
losers.
*not his real name, but this is what he would be if the
game was real
**also not his real name, but I assume you knew that
