March 25, 2013

Managing Anxiety, Part Two: A Day

This is the second part in my new series, Beating Managing Anxiety; Advice from a Worried Person. For Part One see here. To buy The Little Book of Anxiety click here.

Anxiety is a bitch. Anyone who has experienced it knows. Sometimes it fades into the background, sometimes it rears it's ugly head, and sometimes it roars so loudly that the best I can do is just put one foot in front of the other.

At times like this, I turn to my last resort, the technique I use when things get really dire (and, occasionally, when things are just reasonably dire, or I'm not feeling particularly robust).

I take one day at a time.

Why do I need to take one day at a time? Well, anxiety has many side effects - fun things like a racing heart, a cloudy head, and a sense of disconnect with the world. However, one of the most debilitating impacts of anxiety is to reduce my ability to cope. When my anxiety is roaring, it becomes the loudest voice in my head, and takes up all the energy I need to function.


Without my emotional resources, I become easily overwhelmed. Simple tasks like cooking dinner seem difficult. Bigger projects like organising my car rego or generating invoices seem scary. And long term responsibilities like my career and parenting my children seem utterly impossible.

So I do what I need to do. I don't think about the scary or impossible. I push those thoughts away and focus myself directly on the here and now. I decide I just need to get through today, and not think about all the tomorrows that are going to come later. I can get through one day. It's just twenty four hours. Anyone can get through one day.

There is a tremendous release in just taking one day at a time. Life is complex and frightening and we never know what is around the corner. But a day is just a series of hours that lasts until bedtime. A day is manageable. A day is limited. A day has a beginning and an end. And if it's too hard to make it through a day, you can resort to making it through the hour. One hour at a time. One day at a time. And when you make it through, start again.

Sometimes, that's all you can do. But if you keep getting through, hour by hour, day by day, eventually the anxiety will recede again. I promise you, it will. So hang in there.

Anyone can get through one day.

19 comments:

  1. Fabulous advice. When this happens to me I make list of the basics I need to do (even if the list is only 1 thing), otherwise I forget. Then cross them off as I do them. That way at the end of the day I can pat myself on the back for achieving something. Even if it was just one thing. Always walking forwards. Xxxx

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  2. Hi Kerrie! This post reminds me of this gorgeous short film "when the scared is scared" the Scared is scared from Bianca Giaever on Vimeo.

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  3. I am constantly trying to explain this to my husband, that I'm just trying to get through this, one day, sometimes one minute at a time. I know it's hard for him too,because he has to be the strong one. But I did it for him when he had his struggles... it's my turn for support now. Great advice. x

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  4. Good Plan. The last thing you need when anxious is to start thinking about tomorrow! I had to attend a party I was not looking forward to yesterday. It was not an option to not go. I just told myself, you can go for an hour, then leave. Of course I stayed longer, but telling myself there was a limit, helped.

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  5. Thanks love. And yes, supporting each other = relationship x

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  6. You help me so much, some days I struggle more than others. If I can stay home I am fine, but if I have appointments then it's all down hill. Struggling and juggling a chronically sick son, recently widowed elderly mum and life in general is a challenge. Thanks for your wise words Kerri :)

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  7. I'm loving this series Kerry. It's very timely for me. Thank you!

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  8. Yes to you Kerri. Just yes.Thankyou.Victoria.

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  9. I like this post - and it is related to a comment on a post about overcoming procrastination I just read (an article shared on Facebook that I was reading - ironically because I was procrastinating on the last things I need to do before getting ready for bed - anyway ...). It is a term the commenter calls 'doing small things less' (and is a bit similar to 'getting things done' approach of David Allen) - not new, but helpful, particularly when procrastination is linked to anxiety. If I can break things into small chunks - sometimes 20 mins is as much as I can imagine, rather than one day, depending on where my thinking is at - it really helps.

    http://99u.com/articles/7286/the-power-of-structured-procrastination#comment-833448625

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  10. It was really helpful to read this and refocus on a stress-minimisation plan! I like the idea of pacing yourself with anxiety..a bit like compartmentalising your worries away in boxes so they won't overwhelm you all at once. I'm also a big fan of personal treats, so when you have too many tedious and stressful things (like the rego and invoices) you reward yourself with cake or chocolate.

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  11. I suffer from anxiety attacks. I have to live one day to the next. When I am "coming down" from an attack I tend to get migraines from the release of tension in my body! LIving mindfully from one day to the next definitely helps though.

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  12. I know how hard it can be. One hour at a time Chris. One step at a time. Sending love x

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  13. YES. That really resonates with me too. Thank you x

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  14. I'm a fan of rewards too - not necessarily food rewards (that can be problematic for people with food issues) but things like reading, massages, phoning friends etc. Totally hear you x

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  15. YES. Absolutely. And mindfulness is all about living one day at a time, isn't it? Thanks hon x

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