March 27, 2013

How An iOS Upgrade Nearly Destroyed My Life


I wanted to download a ringtone. It wasn’t a big deal. Or at least, it shouldn’t have been a big deal. Other people had personalised ringtones so I thought I could have one too. It’s not like I’m some sort of technology Luddite. I’m a Woman of Social Media! I have a blog and everything! And if I can email and Tweet and Facebook and Instagram, then surely I could download my favourite song to play when my phone rings.

Well, it wasn’t so easy. It never is. I tried to download my ringtone, but my iPhone got stroppy. “You have to upgrade to the latest iOS,” it said. Now, I don’t know what an iOS is. I’ve never given iOS’s a moment’s thought. But apparently, I had to have one, and so I set about finding it.


I realised that I couldn’t upgrade my iOS simply by looking at my phone in confusion (though if I could have made it happen through act of will alone I would have had such a late version of iOS the thing wouldn’t have been invented yet).

By a process of elimination (that looked a lot like throwing things and sweating) I deduced that I could upgrade my iOS by plugging my phone into my computer and pressing a few buttons. Easy! Except that it turned out that the upgrade took OVER TWO HOURS and if my computer lost internet connection for ONE SECOND the whole thing would fail and have to restart.

Which it did. THREE TIMES.

By the time the thing was complete, some six hours later, I was exhausted. I was also disappointed to discover that the upgrade hadn’t actually taken effect (using ‘disappointed’ in the sense of ‘I was disappointed to learn that a meteor was hurtling towards earth and we were all going to die). By a process of elimination (that looked a lot like crying and drinking gin) I deduced that I had to start and restart my computer and phone and then plug them into each other again and wait, without breathing or moving a muscle, until the upgrade began to work. (I don’t know why the breath holding and remaining still was so vital, but it just was.)

Eventually, the upgrade took place and all was well in the world. My phone looked slightly different, which mildly concerned me, but I figured that it was just the new, improved iOS - whatever the hell that was.
I felt proud of myself and in a celebratory mood. I turned on some music and prepared to dance the ‘I’m Queen of Technology’ shuffle. Except that the music didn’t come on, because somehow all my music had been wiped from my phone, and it was clearly never, ever coming back.

By a process of elimination (that looked a lot like rocking in the corner in the foetal position) I deduced that the iTunes music was not syncing to my iPhone no matter what settings I chose or plugs I stuck in. And this made me very, very disappointed indeed.

Happily, though, I managed to get my ringtone. Unhappily, this will be of little use to me as I never plan to use my stupid iPhone again. From now on it’s carrier pigeons for me. And the only ringtone will be their gentle cooing.

This Woman of Social Media hates technology. 

24 comments:

  1. I still don't own a mobile phone... just sayin'... ;)

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  2. I know it's no consolation, but the same thing happened to me with the iPad. TWICE. First time I had to take the damn thing back and have it replaced, second time had to have them do the upgrade in the shop. Now, finally, they've given me one that can update over the internet. NOTE TO APPLE: That bloody iTunes update interface DOES NOT WORK. Watch your backs, for the Women of Social Media are gunning for you.

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  3. I hear you. Had exactly the same experience upgrading my iPhone 3. iTunes will only transfer music purchased through iTunes. I had to reload all my other music, one cd at a time. And still my alleged Internet hotspot doesn't work. But I refuse to buy a new phone when the old one works well enough. Just wish I'd bought the iPad with wireless AND 3G.
    Cheers.

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  4. What a pain technology is Kerri. In some respects it really is too much. I don't have an iPhone (or any kind of smartphone) and through some miracle I managed to download a ringtone, but I haven't changed it as I can't remember how I did it :-)

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  5. I hear you...I tried to plug my iPad into my Mac the other day....and in the process somehow managed to delete my entire iPhoto Library....every single photo!!! I was very, very disappointed also!!!!
    But can I just say that the 15 year old tech people at Apple Support were wonderful...not only did they eventually help me get my photos back....they didn't call me an imbecilic moron even once :0)

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  6. I love iPhones. Simply because I dont own one but my husband does. You should see his auto correct fails- that phone was worth every penny in entertainment!

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  7. The people at the Apple Shop will solve all of your problems, they have always helped me, take everything in with you, I promise xxx

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  8. OMG did it happen to you too????? APPLE!!! WE'RE COMING FOR YOU

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  9. YES YES YES YES YES!!! Oh my GOD I'm so glad it's not just me.

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  10. That is VERY kind of them. But they're probably some kind of robot humanoids...

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  11. Ha! Yes. I do love a good auto-correct fail. As long as it's not mine...

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  12. But... but... I want it to work NOW. At HOME *sobs*

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  13. Isn't Luddite Latin for "happy man"? ;)

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  14. Really relate to this - have a new phone and wanted to download a favourite tune for the ringtone but when I asked my year 16 old daughter for help, she said (with uber-eye-roll and hand on hip), "Don't even go there!" And she is very tech savvy! So stuck with a really dorky ringtone :)

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  15. I NEVER do anything to my phone at all (well, not since that first time ....). I just take it into the shop and cry until they do stuff for me.

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  16. May I suggest "Iphone for dummies". It's certainly saved me on numerous occasions.

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  17. I actually got anxious reading this.
    Reminded me of the time I wanted to print out some colouring pictures for Aston. Four hours later, and much frustration and tears on my part I managed to get them printed. Stupid software updates!!

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  18. Jackie K @ Working Through ItApril 1, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    Ugh - I still haven't upgraded to IOS 6.1 because it takes THREE HOURS and every time I've tried it my Internet connection breaks for a second and I have to start again. I can't believe it's so hard to upgrade the system - it never used to be. At this point I'm just waiting for the next upgrade to come along where hopefully they correct the massive problem with this one which causes it to take THREE HOURS. Surely the next upgrade will be 5 minutes?

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  19. There is an app you can buy or get a free trial version of that you can make your own ringtone. They ahve a full video tutorial to show you how and everything its called. ringtone designer. But you need music on your phone so your stuffed.

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  20. FI @ My Mummy DazeApril 3, 2013 at 8:52 PM

    Ahh! Hilarious as always Kez! I must confess I am the queen of social media but appauling at all these mysterious things of which you speak. I'm still trying to get a handle on what GIG and RAM are. I'm good with the interaction and engagement part! Fi xx

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  21. Thank you very much. I agreee with your article, this really helped me. I appreciate your help. Thanks a lot. Good website.
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