November 28, 2012

Why My Husband Has To Go

I love my husband. I do. Okay, so The Architect and I have a tumultuous relationship, and I *may* have once thrown an orange in his general direction, but we have been together for a hundred years and I never expected that we would part.

But something has changed. Another woman has come between us. A girl, really. A pretty white girl, with blue eyes and ears that are - believe it or not - even bigger than mine. She is here with us, every single day. We can't go on forever like this. So a choice will have to be made.

Now, obviously, my husband wants the girl to go. He has been here longer, and feels like he shouldn't have to leave his own family. But I'm in two minds. For one thing, she is sooooo cute. For another thing, the kids are really attached to her, and while they totally love their dad too, it seems just cruel to break their hearts.

Artist's impression of The Architect leaving home (except The Architect wears black)

And it's not Bun Bun's fault that she makes The Architect sneeze. After all, Spunky (RIP) didn't do so. And Pretzel, Bun Bun's cage-mate, is not allergenic at all. How were we to know that the flat-eared bunnies are a different breed altogether, and have the capacity to make a grown man expel his very soul from his nostrils night after night after night?

My husband thinks it is best to send Bun Bun away now, before the kids learn to love her even more. But Bun Bun is part of the family now. She is another child. And you can't send your child away. What's more, Bun Bun doesn't have the capacity to reason, and won't understand why she is being rejected from her home. She could be permanently scarred. Or at least miss that bloody great hole she's dug under the cupboard.

The Architect, on the other hand, can reason and understand. He will know that it's nothing personal, that it is just a clash of allergans, and that someone has to go. He will regroup, and move on with his life. And we will visit him, of course, after we've all changed our clothes and had showers to remove any last bits of fluff from our bodies.

Still, he is fighting to stay, and it's going to get ugly. The only solution may be for the kids and rabbits and I to leave, and let The Architect stay in the house. He designed it, after all.

It will need a very good cleaning, though. That rabbit fur is EVERYWHERE.

22 comments:

  1. Rabbits v. Husbands. Rabbits will ALWAYS win. xxx

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  2. Oh! Yes! There's no argument to give! None that will stand up, anyway! The Husband must go! Bun Bun must stay. Anyone with the name "Bun Bun" must have the run of the house; it's a given! Bun Bun might drop a bit of hair here and there, but so does The Husband...and He drops wet towels on the bathroom floor and leaves them there...not to mention his unmentionables! See, I didn't mention them! Yes...welcome, Bun Bun...just earn your keep at Easter...that is all that is asked of you!

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  3. Hmmm. I vote the rabbit to go. After all, The Architect earns shedloads of money, and can keep you in luxury. Bun Bun can't, unless you're planing to breed more Bun Buns, and sell them to other women with allergic spouses ?..... ;-)

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  4. My husband is the only rabbit around here..well, someone had to say it..

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  5. Benita (MissBenben)November 28, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    Kerri I would be less concerned about Bun Bun (who is obviously so great you named him twice. Like Woy Woy.) making the Architect sneeze, and more concerned about the fact that the Architect is wearing a blue dress. And that your hair has turned yellow. Keep the rabbit. Buy him some rhinocort.

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  6. Just be very careful he doesn't pull a Fatal Attraction on you - just sayin'.

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  7. I see poor Architect with his little spotted kerchief on a post over his shoulder, sad music playing in the background and, as he does a final turn to look over his shoulder, Bun Bun stands in the window, tongue out, making confetti out of tufts of fur.

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  8. LOL. Brilliant comment. And you even mentioned the unmentionables!!

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  9. You are just WAY TOO PRACTICAL Fendi....

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  10. It's NOT a blue dress! It's a.... um..... tunic.....

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  11. Oh good lord. Hadn't thought of that.....

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  12. And THAT is the funniest image of the day. Nah... WEEK.

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  13. Damn! We have a kitten and while Alexander has never loved anything or anyone more than he loves Bella, his allergies have flared up. I feel terrible.

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  14. Oh NO!!! I don't know what to say.......:-(

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  15. i can totally understand The Architect... I am allergic to cats, dogs, you name it! And my guy's kids recommended us getting a dog when they heard we might be getting married. I thought: WTF! :S

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  16. Only an orange? You're doing well. Have thrown MUCH more. #marriageisawesome #lie

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  17. Eden, I *may* have been slightly underestimating the volume and frequency of fruit flinging to avoid alarming my readers.

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  18. I was asking myself the same, only an orange ^^
    www.blogitup.com.au

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