Why My Husband Has To Go

I love my husband. I do. Okay, so The Architect and I have a tumultuous relationship, and I *may* have once thrown an orange in his general direction, but we have been together for a hundred years and I never expected that we would part.

But something has changed. Another woman has come between us. A girl, really. A pretty white girl, with blue eyes and ears that are - believe it or not - even bigger than mine. She is here with us, every single day. We can't go on forever like this. So a choice will have to be made.

Now, obviously, my husband wants the girl to go. He has been here longer, and feels like he shouldn't have to leave his own family. But I'm in two minds. For one thing, she is sooooo cute. For another thing, the kids are really attached to her, and while they totally love their dad too, it seems just cruel to break their hearts.

Artist's impression of The Architect leaving home (except The Architect wears black)

And it's not Bun Bun's fault that she makes The Architect sneeze. After all, Spunky (RIP) didn't do so. And Pretzel, Bun Bun's cage-mate, is not allergenic at all. How were we to know that the flat-eared bunnies are a different breed altogether, and have the capacity to make a grown man expel his very soul from his nostrils night after night after night?

My husband thinks it is best to send Bun Bun away now, before the kids learn to love her even more. But Bun Bun is part of the family now. She is another child. And you can't send your child away. What's more, Bun Bun doesn't have the capacity to reason, and won't understand why she is being rejected from her home. She could be permanently scarred. Or at least miss that bloody great hole she's dug under the cupboard.

The Architect, on the other hand, can reason and understand. He will know that it's nothing personal, that it is just a clash of allergans, and that someone has to go. He will regroup, and move on with his life. And we will visit him, of course, after we've all changed our clothes and had showers to remove any last bits of fluff from our bodies.

Still, he is fighting to stay, and it's going to get ugly. The only solution may be for the kids and rabbits and I to leave, and let The Architect stay in the house. He designed it, after all.

It will need a very good cleaning, though. That rabbit fur is EVERYWHERE.