Proper, Funny Writing?

On the weekend I attended the Problogger conference in Melbourne. I was one of the speakers, on a panel with Allison Tait and Valerie Khoo, and I discussed the ways in which I use my blog to promote myself as a writer. A 'proper' writer. A writer of columns and articles and books and online posts. A funny writer, but a proper writer nonetheless. A proper, funny writer. If you know what I mean.

Hopefully, then, there will be many new readers clicking on to my blog today for the first time, waiting with baited breath to read, for the first time, a stunning example of my proper, funny writing.

And what a surprise they're going to get.

Because I don't have a piece of proper, funny writing for you today. Instead, I have a diagram.

So for those of you new to this proper, funny blog, let me explain:

A few weeks ago, I despaired of ever being able to stop biting my nails. And I called upon my loyal blog readers to help me in my quest, by offering to name a particular nail for me, and providing me - and said nails - with emotional support. I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love expressed (and the sheer ridiculousness of the monikers chosen). Now, finally, I have chosen my ten names, and can reveal them to the world. (Sadly, I can't reveal the nails themselves, as they are still rather short and stubby - particularly Al, who had a bit of an accident with a rough edge and a tooth - but they will get there soon.)

Hence the diagram.

To those whose names adorn these typing fingers, thank you. I will look after them well. To those who missed out on naming a nail, fear not. There are still my toes.

And to those who came here looking for a proper, funny read, I apologise. Please come again soon. I promise that next time I will be hilarious. And if not, you can name my left ear. It's huge!


In other news, the winner of the Where's Wally costume (notasponsoredpost) is Jenny M, because I love the idea of her son being dressed as Wally for his Buck's Night. Jenny, please email me!!!