October 16, 2012

Proper, Funny Writing?

On the weekend I attended the Problogger conference in Melbourne. I was one of the speakers, on a panel with Allison Tait and Valerie Khoo, and I discussed the ways in which I use my blog to promote myself as a writer. A 'proper' writer. A writer of columns and articles and books and online posts. A funny writer, but a proper writer nonetheless. A proper, funny writer. If you know what I mean.

Hopefully, then, there will be many new readers clicking on to my blog today for the first time, waiting with baited breath to read, for the first time, a stunning example of my proper, funny writing.

And what a surprise they're going to get.

Because I don't have a piece of proper, funny writing for you today. Instead, I have a diagram.
So for those of you new to this proper, funny blog, let me explain:

A few weeks ago, I despaired of ever being able to stop biting my nails. And I called upon my loyal blog readers to help me in my quest, by offering to name a particular nail for me, and providing me - and said nails - with emotional support. I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love expressed (and the sheer ridiculousness of the monikers chosen). Now, finally, I have chosen my ten names, and can reveal them to the world. (Sadly, I can't reveal the nails themselves, as they are still rather short and stubby - particularly Al, who had a bit of an accident with a rough edge and a tooth - but they will get there soon.)

Hence the diagram.

To those whose names adorn these typing fingers, thank you. I will look after them well. To those who missed out on naming a nail, fear not. There are still my toes.

And to those who came here looking for a proper, funny read, I apologise. Please come again soon. I promise that next time I will be hilarious. And if not, you can name my left ear. It's huge!


In other news, the winner of the Where's Wally costume (notasponsoredpost) is Jenny M, because I love the idea of her son being dressed as Wally for his Buck's Night. Jenny, please email me!!!


27 comments:

  1. Dear Kerri

    I have bitten my nails for about 42 years now. I have tried giving them names too. It just made me feel really bad for eating friends. I now have acrylic nails at some substantial cost but the sad news is that I CAN STILL CHEW MY OWN NAILS UNDER THE ACRYLIC. Oh yes I can. And the day before my appointment I actually manage to chew off some of the acrylic ones, seeing as I am having a touch up anyway. I am eternally grateful I never took up smoking. So good luck to you, and especially Al. I am worried about Al.

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  2. That's exactly why I gave up the acrylics - I WAS SCARED I'D BREAK A TOOTH!!!! And I was totally embarrased going back to the salon time and time again for an entirely new set of nails.
    Also, I'm a little worried about Al, too....

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  3. I'm just back from overseas or I would have written sooner but I wanted to just say I love your new look blog! Good luck with the nails, too. x

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  4. Thanks Deb! Hope you had a great time x

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  5. NOOOOO!!! But I *may* have picked them. On the rare occasion. *hangs head in shame*

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  6. LOL who doesn't? They deserve very special names in that case.

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  7. Guess I best get cracking on making Magda a netball skirt? I would love to be a fly on the wall when you have a conversation with your ten new friends. 'talk to the hand' takes on a literal meaning now, no?

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  8. LOVE LOVE LOVE THE NEW LOOK! So professional - and clean- and just perfect! :) xx

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  9. Love your new blog look!

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  10. I think i might have to follow suit - althoughi don't think nibble is gong to help somehow.

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  11. You bite your toe-nails too? Or do we just get to name them for shits and giggles? If you seriously bite them - I am well impressed. Not with the ewww-iness but for the bendy factor I'd said that's a serious talent and not to be discouraged - go you!

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  12. I used to when I was a little girl. Quite frankly, I'd be lucky to SEE my feet these days...

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  13. Actually, it was after a different Al. But I shall think of you whenever I look at it......

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  14. That's right, appropriate that it's named after the short, stubby, rough -edged, but generous of spirit Al, who is happy to share naming rights for your trigger finger :)

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  15. Louise I suspect that the left little finger is mine (unless it REALLY has a thing for shoes) and if toddler wishes to share it with me, I'm happy to be Jo-Jo the Bum Finger when off-duty. Although as Kerri said, there are always the toes...

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  16. I am adding Ringo to my list of baby names for Bubs#2! How did I miss it!!

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  17. Frankly, toddler will be devastated that Jo-Jo the Bum Finger didn't make the grade.
    Sob.

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  18. I am sorry about that. He was taken. But I think Ringo Jo-Jo has a nice ring to it, don't you? How would a middle name do?

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  19. I don't have a biting nail problem but i hate having long nails so I use nail cutters to make them as short as possible without them bleeding.
    PS. loving the design of the blog.

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  20. I would NEVER cut my nails if they were long! And, er, I didn't bite them....
    So glad you like the new design x

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  21. I'm coming on your Blog to book course on Thursday - I shall be paying close attention to your nails!

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  22. Oh no! I shall have to sit on my hands!

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  23. PMSL. I can't believe you named your pointer finger after me. Not sure what that says about us... Good luck with the nail file. Stay strong.

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