March 24, 2012

An Australian Girl In London, Part 1

So I have arrived in London to promote my book, whose UK cover appears below. The book is being published here under its original title, which means that either the British are not afraid of sex, or they're going to get a hell of a surprise.

It took a long, long time to get to London. In 28 hours of travel I watched two movies, read two magazines, watched two episodes of Modern Family, ate two meals, two snacks and several packets of trail mix, took two sleeping pills and slept for around eight hours, read about fifty pages of a book, stared into space vacantly for 90 minutes, and went to the toilet approximately 750 times.

I also talked a great deal to my mother, which might sound weird or spiritual, until you know that she is actually accompanying me on my trip to London and was sitting next to me the whole time.

We then took the express train into London. It was very clean and had nice big seats and TV screens showing Sky news, and it spoke to us in a ridiculously posh voice.

We got to our hotel, deposited our bags, then went for a walk around the area. Now, on the first afternoon of my trip, I can tell you that

a) Very few people sound British in London. Nearly all of them so far have sounded French, Indian, Pakistani, or some other unidentified, non-British accent. I'm disappointed. I want posh.

b) The taxis are super cute. They look like little Lego cars.

c) The place down the road made a nice egg sandwich.

d) Gap and Zara look much like they do in LA, except no-one jumps on you and excitedly asks 'Hey, how ARE you?'

e) Harrods is crazy expensive. I won't be stacking up on undies there.

f) I admired the beauty of the Victoria and Albert Museum and the Natural History Museum. But... er... I didn't actually go in.

g) 36 hours since leaving Sydney I still haven't had a shower. I think I'm going to go now.


  1. You're plugging your first book ? I was getting all excited, until I realised I'd already read it. I thought you were plugging the NEW one. You will, WON'T YOU ?.....  :-D

  2. An international book launc, very exciting. Enjoy.

  3. Thanks Kerri for your Facebook message, look forward to your blog updates...

  4. I find when I travel with my mum it goes well for the first little while and then I revert back to being a petulant teenager making faces behind her back and whinging at her to entertain me...good luck with the launch x

  5. I love that the Brits love sex. I know they will love you too!

  6. It's perfectly acceptable to skip showering in the U.K.
    You'll fit right in.
    :-) x

  7. How exciting! Have a lovely time. I lived in the uk for some time. 6 months in london and a year in Scotland. Went to Scotland to look for a brave heart style warrior but discovered they looked a little more like the cast from train spotting.

  8. So pleased you've made it over to London city.  Don't go home with out seeing Covent Garden and Camden Lock.  As for sex and the British, you do know that we've had Kathy Lette here for at least 2 decades?   She's well and truly broadened our horizons, don't worry.  As for none of us being posh sorry about that, we are now all from somewhere else!  That and incredibly lazy at speaking.  What is all this with Australians and Zara?  Why come to England an go to a shop you can go to in Australia?  The exchange rate must be good?  I am proud to own your book in its original cover and I hope you managed to get Vegemite kept in the text.  Luv Luce x

  9. I hope you have a really successful trip Kerri.  That plane journey is a killer!  I'm an Aussie who lives in Italy!  Your book sounds fabulous, I am most pleased I can order it from Amazon UK.

  10. Welcome to the UK Kerri - I hope you enjoy your stay (what a perfect day to arrive with the great weather we've had!).

    Looking forward to seeing your book on the shelves :)

  11. So glad you and your mum  made it  to ye olde London town safe and sound and mum didnt need to put ear muffs on while sitting next to you on the plane.You also forgot to mention how many times you have enquired about home and how they are coping and how much they miss you already.That was all said in a posh voice just for you :) Jokes aside have a wonderful time lovely lady, doing the business end of things but also enjoy the shopping , the food etc and especially the time with your mum.That goes by so fast and is precious too xxx

  12. Wow, this is SO exciting! I hope you have a fabulous time and can't wait to hear more!

  13. Oh yay!  How exciting for you, and for your mum!  I bet she feels so special to be with you on such a fab trip.  Enjoy!

  14. Enjoy the Mother Country! Love London at this time of year as Spring finally seeps in. And best of luck with the book launch into the UK!


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