September 5, 2011

Life Without Husband

On Sunday, my husband left for a two week business trip to China. This bothered me tremendously, as he had to leave the house at 5am, and the alarm woke me on a lazy Sunday morning at 4.30*.

Since then, I have been living life as a single mother of three, and contemplating the pros and cons thereof. And though it has only been just over 24 hours, I believe I have a pretty good handle on things.

No Husband: The Pros
  1. I do not have to cook dinner for my husband, and so I am (hypothetically) free to feed the kids sausages, and myself vast quantities of chocolate covered rasberry licorice followed by, ahem, cheese.
  2. There will be a lot less laundry.
  3. There will be a lot less arguments.
  4. I can sleep soundly without being woken by my husband's regular 2am nose-blowing session.
  5. There will be no piles of horrid tissues next to my husband's side of the bed in the morning as there will be no 2am nose-blowing sessions.
  6. I can get into bed with a pore cleansing strip on my nose without my husband recoiling in horror and yelling 'My eyes! My eyes!'
  7. I can lounge on my bed in my undies without any expectation of sex.
  8. I can lounge on my bed in my undies and a pore cleansing strip without my husband saying 'Oh for gods sake, make up your mind.'
  9. I do not have to wait for the shower so I won't be late getting the kids to school.
  10. I can watch whatever I want on TV without my husband grabbing the remote and switching channels every single commercial break.
  11. I can leave mess everywhere without my husband coming home and asking what I 'did all day'.
Tomorrow night's dinner
No Husband: The Cons
  1. I do not have to cook dinner for my husband and so I can (er... 'hypothetically') feed myself vast quantities of chocolate covered rasberry licorice followed by cheese. This is probably not an ideal way to eat in the long run.
  2. I have to take all three kids to school.
  3. I have to take Boo to swimming lessons in the wee-wee infested waters.
  4. I have to take the rubbish out. Or would have, if I'd remembered to do so last night. Woops.
  5. I get nervous without a big, strong man in bed with me in case of emergency. Except that my husband isn't big or strong, and he'd probably sleep through it anyway, so that doesn't really count.
  6. I don't have to wait for the shower so when I get the kids to school late I can't blame it on their father.
  7. There is no-one on whom to warm my feet before sleep.
  8. There will be a lot less laughing.
  9. I kind of miss him.
*of course I did go back to sleep, but I really do prefer not to be disturbed

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