May 7, 2011

Behind The Scenes At Sunrise

So my adventures on Sunrise started the night before, at 10pm, with a razor. I was lying in bed smiling at the cute little dress I'd picked out, when I realised with horror that I'd forgotten to shave my legs. Given that I wanted the world to laugh with me about my adventures in parenting, and not laugh at me about the fur on my legs, I realised that action needed to be taken, and quickly. I had to get up at some ungodly hour the next morning, so there was no time to waste. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my razor, and quickly scraped it up and down my legs. Dry.

Big mistake.

I woke up the next morning at the ungodly hour, and scrambled into my cute little dress. Then I looked in the mirror. And screamed.

Because my legs were stripey. Like a candy stick. Red and white stripes. I was going to make my Sunrise debut on candy stick legs. Fabulous.

I rummaged madly in my drawers for some tights but couldn't find any. Panicked, I grabbed the skinniest pair of black pants I could find and decided they would have to do. There was no time to waste, and I still had to do my makeup. The Sunrise producer had advised me to do my own hair and makeup and they would 'touch it up' at the studio. So I did my absolute best job, looked contentedly in the mirror, and headed off to the studio.*

Once at the Sunrise studio, I was ushered immediately into the makeup chair. "I've done my own makeup!" I told Ang, the makeup lady, proudly.

"Mmmm," she said, and spent the next 30 minutes 'touching it up'.** Once my makeup was done, it was time for my hair.

"I've done my own hair!" I told Ang proudly.

"Mmmm," she said. "It's hard with curly hair, isn't it?" and spent the next 15 minutes styling my hair. Sigh. I guess effort, not quality, counts.

At some stage Joe Hockey wandered into the makeup room. "Hello Joe!" I said cheerily. Because I could.

A few minutes later Larry Emdur ambled in. "Hello Larry!" I said cheerily. "You're so handsome!" Because he was.

Shortly afterwards I was ushered into the 'Green Room', which was essentially two couches (not green) beside a water cooler (also not green). There I sat with my publicist Shannon***, and the comedian Marty Wilson, who was appearing on the segment with me. Fifteen minutes later, totally composed and cool****, I was sitting on the couch with Mel and Kochie, chatting about motherhood.

And five minutes and 45 seconds later, it was all over. I said goodbye to Mel and Kochie, exchanged cards with the lovely Marty, and hopped into a cab with my publicist Shannon. My moment in the Sunrise had passed.

But even today, the stripes on my leg live on to tell the tale.

*How cool does that sound?
**Using 'touching it up' in the sense of 'reapplying from scratch as the poor girl clearly has no idea what she's doing'.
***How cool does that sound?
*****That may be a lie

See my Facebook page (button to the right) for the Sunrise interview.

33 comments:

  1. I would have been so nervous!! Did Joe Hockey say "Hi Kerri - I love to do the dishes?" You were great & looked fabulous.

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  2. I did that to my legs recently because I realised I was going swimming and had forgotten to shave my legs. So I couldn't exactly cover them with skinny pants! But at least I wasn't swimming on Sunrise :)

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  3. I asked Larry Emdur if he wanted to share a can with me after a boozey Friday lunch. He didn't.

    I think he though 'share a cab' was a metaphor for something else by the look on his face.

    Congratulations on a big week for you. Have put your book on my Mothers Day list.

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  4. Oh my goodness! Just saw the typo in my content. That was meant to say share a CAB not a can. Sounded like a bogan (which I kind of am!).

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  5. He did say 'Good morning!' I know exactly what he meant....

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  6. How funny!!!! He looked like he'd be up for a shared cab........ Enjoy the book xx

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  7. Shauna, Secret SecretaryMay 7, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    That made me giggle so much, can just see Angs sympathetic smile...

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  8. At least you got to leave your dress on... in my one moment of televisual glory (or not) I was in makeup before appearing on the Kerri Anne show. As expected, I was hideously nervous but at least happy that I'd chosen my bright red jacket to wear, which always makes me feel more confident. Into the room strides B*, a C-list celebrity who was also appearing on the shwo that morning. She took one look at my red jacket and screeched "You CAN'T wear red! I'm wearing red!" B's publicist shook her head and told me to change. B ORDERED me to change. I appealed to the makeup woman, who checked the running sheet... B wsa appearing on air just before me. Make up lady suggested I change. I told them I had nothing else except the (rather crumpled) t-shirt that I'd flown up from Melbourne in the night before. B started hyperventilating. The producer of my segment walked in, B accosted her (between blowing into a paper bag) and I was whisked off to wardrobe where I was unceremoniously stripped of my beautiful red jacket and bundled into a too-big white shirt that had foundation marks all around the collar, sweat rings under the arms and stank of BO. Producer told me to keep my arms down during the segment and left me to it. All of which is by way of saying great blog Kerri! And you looked fab on Sunrise :) **


    *No people, I'm not revealing her name. There are defamation laws and I am a poor struggling writer who can't afford to get sued by B. Or her publicist. Or the make up lady.

    ** It's also by way of saying "I

    don't have a blog so I thought I'd hijack yours." Thanks!

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  9. I too have been "touched up" in that makeup room for a chat with Larry on TMS. I had xanax in the system and thought I was titally hilarious, until I watched it back...

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  10. HOW could you never have told me that??? How absolutely awful. I would have agreed to take the jacket off, and then sat unceremoniously on the couch in my bra.

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  11. The life of a star ;)

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  12. The TV was on.I looked up idly, when Mrs F said, "Hey, isn't that Kerri Sackville" ? "Yeah", I said, and went back to my purple covered book......

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  13. You were so good! Hope the book is selling truckloads! xxx

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  14. It looked like fun! you looked fantastic!

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  15. Me too! The very words 'sales figures' strikes fear into my heart. Don't know how you authors cope..... xxx

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  16. Love the pants. Winter is not a time for shaving legs. Mine are currently in preparation for the season ahead! Loved your segment.

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  17. And 'never' is a time for shaving legs when you do it without water! xxx

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  18. Was too afraid given I had already terrorised you with that other story about (shudder) Kerri Anne and the (tears) autocue (breaks down and rends garments) . Didn't want to completely psych you out before you big debut. Also, I wasn't wearing a bra. #newratingslow

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  19. Those Sunrise segments are over in seconds. And they never ask you quite what you want them to ask.
    I thought you did really well.
    And at least they plugged your book.

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  20. Good god. I truly hope these were the days before internet streaming......

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  21. I spent approximately 7 times as long being made-up as I did before the cameras. But yes, they plugged my book! I was thrilled.

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  22. Loved your Sunrise interview Kerri...you're a natural!! :))

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  23. I'm considering stealing someone's identity and will need a safe place. Can I come live with you?

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  24. Talking of ungodly.....
    http://tornadofiles.blogspot.com/2011/05/in-name-of-blogger-mother-and-sunday.html

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  25. In exchange for cooking and cleaning duties? Sure.

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  26.  It may just be my sleep deprived brain; can you point out what the ***** (5) That may be a lie - pertains to?

    Also great job on the interview, you may have a future hosting morning TV (hint hint TV stations).

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  27. Ha! You're the first person to point this out to me! It was meant to be FOUR asterixes. ****. Meaning, I wasn't composed and cool at all. x 

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