February 3, 2011

Taking Shots

Last week, I had some professional photos taken for my soon-to-be-released book. The last professional picture I had taken was in the late nineties, and if I remember rightly, I was wearing a long white dress and clutching a bunch of tulips. So it’s been a long time between shots.

The day began with the arrival of my personal makeup artist (who I had promoted that morning from her previous position as ‘babysitter’ when I’d learned she could wield a mascara wand). As I’ve never been able to apply makeup, I needed Gab to do it for me.

Actually, that’s not quite true. I can apply makeup. It’s just that I was hoping to achieve a certain ‘look’ for my author pic, and ‘messy eyes’, ‘blotchy base’ and ‘smeared lipstick’ wasn’t exactly what I was going for. I wanted to look good. Effortlessly good, to be more precise. And looking effortlessly good, I discovered, takes an awful lot of effort.

First Gab applied foundation. Then eye makeup. Then powder. Then concealer. She applied blush, and mascara, and eyeliner, and lippy. By the time we finished I still looked liked me, a ‘trying extremely hard to look good’ kind of me. Which kind of defeated the ‘effortless’ part, really.

Gab told me to ‘trust her’ (which I felt compelled to do, as she was holding my eyelashes firmly between her fingers). So I resisted the urge to scrub my face clean, and obediently wiped lipstick off my teeth.

The photographer was lovely, and did her best to make me feel at ease. She told me I looked nice, and shouted things like ‘Big smile!’ and ‘Lovely!’ She photographed me in a number of locations all over my house, trying to capture me in the most flattering light (or, in other words, ‘disguise my oldness’). She placed me on the stairs, in a chair, on the floor, by the pool.... I think she would have put me in the bath had it effectively covered my wrinkles.

We also tried a number of poses, with varying degrees of success.

First up, there was the ‘Big Cheesy Smile’. It was early in the shoot, I was feeling a little awkward, and the smile came out a bit forced. This resulted in a series of pics that weren’t right for me, but would have been perfect for a book entitled ‘Jokes For Silly People’, or the cover of a Dental Surgery pamphlet.

There was the ‘Serious Author’ pose, which was supposed to look thoughtful and wise. Unfortunately, I’m not good at looking ‘thoughtful’ or ‘wise’, and instead appeared ‘mournful’, ‘depressive’ and ‘pained’. Perfect, had my book been called ‘Memoir Of A Life Of Sorrow’, or ‘A Life Without Hope Or Happiness’.

There was the ‘Sultry’ pose. I tilted my head slightly and looked up at the camera through sexily half closed eyes. Tremendous, had my book been entitled ‘Chronic Sleep Deprivation And It’s Consequences’, or ‘How Not To Flirt: The Ways I Get It Wrong’.

Still, in the end, the pics were taken and we had a winner. It was a huge relief. Of course, I’m still going to have to change the book title to match the photo, but it’s worth it.

Look Happy, For Goodness Sake. We’re Going Into Overtime!

Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

P.S. This pic is not the winner. Just one of the runners up.

22 comments:

  1. The photos are gorgeous Kerri. It seems to me that you have captured sparkly, naughtly and smart to a tee.

    Can't wait to read the book now...

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  2. You always write cross-legged on the floor? That's OK, as per my own author photo I always stare somewhat anxiously into the lens, as if worried about the trade deficit or wondering if anyone will even recognise me with a full face of slap. That particular author pic was so bad I was almost hoping my book tanked so no-one saw it. Yours, however are gorgeous... but watch that RSI. It's hard to avoid when you type sitting on the floor :)

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  3. Well whatever Gab did, it is magic. Luffley photos. xx

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  4. Love the photo.

    I know what you mean about the makeup - I spent the entire morning of my wedding asking everyone if I looked stupid with all this stuff on my face. And then I didn't believe their answers and kept pulling mascara out, wiping some of the foundation off and dulling the lipstick.

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  5. Well, hey - you scrub alright, dontchya hon?!

    Love the pics. Love the pod pic too on FB. I have good-pics-taken-in-pods envy.

    You forgot to mention in the pic with the laptop you were reading something of mine. Never mind. There's always next blog post, huh? ;)

    xxx

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  6. I always ask for the "Doris Day" lens. It works a treat with the wrinkles. Of course, you end up singing Que Sera, Sera inside your head for the rest of the day (well you do, if you're an old movie buff like me!), but it's worth it.
    Lovely pic, Kerri. Can't wait to see the one that is better than that one.
    Trish
    xx

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  7. You are stunning - this gives me hope for upcoming headshots...then again you are stunning in all photos *distinct curly hair envy if nothing else* :)I just need to find a decent make up person - I think 'smudgy eyeliner and nothing else" may get me typecast :)
    (hold on tulips? long white dress? it was one of those glamour things wasn't it :) )

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  8. I was once mentioned in a short paragraph in an article in the Courier Mail. They sent a hot photographer to take a shot for the piece. A teeny, tiny photo of around 2cms square.

    He was here for over 2 hours and took HUNDREDS of shots. All for one itty bitty photo. Go figure...

    PS I did look good, love the vaseline on the lens look...

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  9. You look great! Hope the book one features the White Couch!! =)

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  10. Kerri,
    You are foxy! With not a hint of mama-tired in those sparkling eyes. Excellent results, really!
    My one and only prof session was also my wedding and though we got some good results, I'll never forget how sore my cheeks were from a whole day of all that painful smiling! I'd never make it as a celeb- what a relief.

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  11. Nice one, Kerri. You look like one of them fillum stars. Just a suggestion, though. Maybe a copy of Mia Freedman's book close by.You know, famous author friends, and all that. Not too gauche, I hope?......

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  12. Love that pic Kerri! But I really want to see the 'serious author' one!

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  13. You are attractive in so many ways that you are glam mum and wife to very lucky hub and kiddies. :-))))
    It is soooo bloody great hearing & reading the Happy Story attached to the - drum roll - BOOK LAUNCH in MAY!

    I had professional makeup done for son's wedding recently and enjoyed the process as well as the finished face!
    With my failing eyesight, arthritic hands my makeup would definitely be classed as CLOWNFACE!

    Love your style Lady! But do watch for the RSI like KL says.

    And you do realize that about a bazillion of us want to be book launch invitees? Can that please be arranged ?
    We would even PAY for the books too ..xx

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  14. It's painful, huh?! I just had new ones done as well and there's always this awful pause when you see the pics (HUGE, GIGANTIC pics flashing up on your computer screen) and you think, 'Wait, I'm better looking than that, aren't I?'. (The answer is generally 'no'.)

    Really had it hit home for me the last time my mum (also an author) had her pics done. She showed them to me and said, 'Wait, I'm better looking than that, aren't I?'

    Er...

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  15. Simply gorgeous! But where's the jacket ;)

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  16. Gab definitely gave you the "effortlessly gorgeous author" look! I was recently photographed for an interview and, sadly, had no one to do my hair or makeup (unless two young boys running around like maniacs stealing my lippy and mascara count as "makeup people"). One thing that my photog kept saying was "Take a deep breath", which made me think that; either I was looking rather tense or she was preparing me for later underwater shots that would require me to have incredible lung capacity. Since we don't have a pool, I am guessing I need to relax. ;)

    Good result and congrats again on the book, Ms. Awesomesauce Author

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  17. If that's a runner up shot, the official author image will be amazing. You even look as though you have your fingers on the right keys for touch typing!! I never know what to do with my hands in photos, which is why i like to pile children in front of me, they also solve the frumpy mum illusion, mind you it takes 4 skinny children to hide me.
    All the best with the book, oh la la, love Posie

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  18. I think you look fabulous Kerri. I'm new to your blog - I'd love to hear about how you got an agent and publisher. I was looking for a search bar on your website - can someone point me to the posts?

    Congrats and best of luck for your book launch!

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  19. I think you look fabulous Kerri. I'm new to your blog - I'd love to hear about how you got an agent and publisher. I was looking for a search bar on your website - can someone point me to the posts?

    Congrats and best of luck for your book launch!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Gab definitely gave you the "effortlessly gorgeous author" look! I was recently photographed for an interview and, sadly, had no one to do my hair or makeup (unless two young boys running around like maniacs stealing my lippy and mascara count as "makeup people"). One thing that my photog kept saying was "Take a deep breath", which made me think that; either I was looking rather tense or she was preparing me for later underwater shots that would require me to have incredible lung capacity. Since we don't have a pool, I am guessing I need to relax. ;)

    Good result and congrats again on the book, Ms. Awesomesauce Author

    ReplyDelete
  21. You are attractive in so many ways that you are glam mum and wife to very lucky hub and kiddies. :-))))
    It is soooo bloody great hearing & reading the Happy Story attached to the - drum roll - BOOK LAUNCH in MAY!

    I had professional makeup done for son's wedding recently and enjoyed the process as well as the finished face!
    With my failing eyesight, arthritic hands my makeup would definitely be classed as CLOWNFACE!

    Love your style Lady! But do watch for the RSI like KL says.

    And you do realize that about a bazillion of us want to be book launch invitees? Can that please be arranged ?
    We would even PAY for the books too ..xx

    ReplyDelete

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