February 8, 2011

The Swimming Carnival

Yesterday was my son's swimming carnival. He is in Year 6, and he is short. The shortest in his year by a long shot. He is strong, and wiry, and not a bad swimmer, but when you're competing against kids a head-and-a-half taller than you, your chances of ending up with a winner's ribbon are slim, to say the least.

My son had been practising every day for the past couple of weeks, but I didn't think he stood much of a chance. Last year he came last in each of the three events he entered, and actually failed to finish one race. It was well within his capability, but he went out so hard, trying to match the taller kids stroke for stroke, that he exhausted himself and had to leave the pool.

This year, his goals were realistic. "I don't expect to win, Mum," he told me, "but I really want to make it to the end."

Day after day he'd swim his laps, and then, every time he climbed out of the pool, he'd ask the same question. "What if I don't finish again, Mum?"

I tried to reassure him. "It doesn't matter if you don't finish," I'd say. "You just have to do your best." I was lying, of course. I knew it did matter if he didn't finish. Not to me, but certainly to him.

"I do have to finish," he'd tell me. And he'd roll his eyes. "You're no help." Which, you know, I probably wasn't.

I arrived at the carnival just in time. My son was in his swimsuit at the end of the pool, standing behind two other boys, waiting for his turn to climb onto the starting block. The gun fired and a group of boys swam the100 metre freestyle. And then anothe group raced. And another.

And then it was his turn.

My son stepped onto the block, and the gun fired. And off he went. By halfway through the first lap, he was well behind the others - not surprising, seeing as he had to swim three strokes for each of their two. After the turn, he was almost a full length behind. The next group of boys were up on their blocks and waiting to jump by the time he made it to the finish.

But he made it to the end.

I was SO proud. My son returned to his seat, beaming. "Well, I earned one point for my house," he said. "And every point counts".

"It does indeed," I told him. We celebrated with some snacks. And within an hour, the 100 metre breaststroke was on.

Again, my son climbed on the block. Again, the gun fired. And again, he was behind by the time they'd reached the halfway point.

But then I noticed: he was neck and neck with one of the other boys. They were tying for last place - but hey, that was a massive improvement on coming last by a mile. My heart started to pound. I leaned forward in my seat. It was so exciting!

The others all finished. It was just my son and the other boy left. Both swam, hard, towards the blocks. I could barely sit still. "Go!" I thought. "GO!" Imagine if he came second last? It would be amazing!!!

He didn't, of course. The other kid beat him by a length. But he did brilliantly well. I swelled with pride and had tears in my eyes as he made his way back to me.

And as he settled into his seat, an announcement came over the loudspeaker. "And some news.... The Blue House has moved into first place! By one point!"

My son cheered. "That's us!" he said, munching happily on some chips.

"Yep," I told him. "Your swim pushed your house in front!" He nodded and returned to his food, but he looked quietly satisfied. He may have come last, but he helped his team to victory.

It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

47 comments:

  1. Are we all allowed to be proud of him too?!
    SOOOO AWESOME!
    Your son For The Winner!
    x

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  2. That just made me well up - your son is clearly AWESOME :)

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  3. As a Mum who sometimes struggles with the fact (inwardly) that my son, also in year 6 is short, very short, this was just the post I needed to read today.

    What a great moment for your son and you.

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  4. Beautiful post. There's that saying "sometimes it's not about whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game". Hope Little Man is holding his head up high while his mom walks on Cloud 9 x

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  5. You son rocks and you have every reason to be proud.

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  6. Loved it Kerri...so gorgeous...xx

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  7. Gosh I loved that Kerri- what a triumphant ending to your story! My eyes so very nearly leaked. As a Mum who knows what it's like to keep hoping her son catches up with the others I'm so happy and proud of both of you- it is true that every effort counts and I'm so very glad he chose not to give up. Well done, both of you x

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  8. Love it. LOVE it. My own son is athletically challenged. The only sport he is any good at is swimming- but last week, as I tweeted, when he and his 3 years-younger sister tried out at the local swimming squad he got put in the beginners and she leapfrogged straight to intermediate. When I had to break the news to him I had my heart in my throat- what a blow to his male pride, that his little sis was placed (well) ahead of him... but you know what he did? He turned to her and said "That's SO great Cam!! You're such a good swimmer."
    Best last place for me too. (And sorry to blog on your blog xxxx)

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  9. That was great, and you are great, and the two things together made me cry quite a bit. x

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  10. I have actual tears streaming down my face - actual tears. Your son is awesome.

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  11. Brings back memories, my son was the shortest for so many years, could play any sport that involved a ball on land, but put him in water.... sigh.
    Be proud of yourself too. You are doing a good job with him Kez, great result. xx

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  12. I get this. Only ribbon I ever got was third place. There was only 3 in the race. Well done son of the sack! I am beaming ear to ear for your boy! :)

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  13. My heart goes out to your son and I know how you feel. When my son was in Yr 6 he was also the shortest and swimming carnivals were definitely not his forte...he was also one of the shortest in Yr 7 & 8...but towards the end of Yr 9 he started to grow and now in Yr 10, he's on par, growth wise with the other boys...he does however refuse to have anything to do with school swimming.
    You have every right to feel proud - your son sounds gorgeous!

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  14. Well done to him - what a fantastic achievement! I love that he knew he wouldn't win, but still he trained hard and gave it his best shot to compete and finish.

    My eldest girl is so shy she struggles just participating - so when she does even for a few minutes I get so excited. It's all about giving it a go and being brave. xx

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  15. Gawd, choked me up.

    My boy faces some challenges of his own when it comes to school sporting events. Last year, I struggled with the well-meaning but perhaps misplaced kindness of the teachers, who gave him ribbons for finishing.

    I love your son's attitude, as he takess pride in his own achievements and still feels part of the greater effort. Well done to you both. xx

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  16. I was so proud of my girl when she, last year, entered her swimming carnival - to do backstroke- having never done backstroke before.
    But she did it. All the other kids were out of the pool and there was my girl, exhausted, struggling but she did it. She did it. She was so brave and so happy she made it and so was I. she didn't give up - and I think that is a very important thing for any child to have - that not giving up ness.
    And your son is just amazing. To get that you don't have to come first, that it still counts and that it matters. whatever he does makes a difference. Wonderful story. Thank you.

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  17. I have goosebumps! What a beautiful soul your boy has. What s great lesson he is learning. I too have very short boys.

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  18. So proud. He's a good boy with a good mum. xx

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  19. That's one of those stories where the adults get to learn from the kids, isn't it?! What a wise person your son already is.

    Great blog post. Great.

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  20. OMG Kerri, I am crying I'm so proud of your son too!! xoxo

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  21. Oh. My. God. Floods or tears in the coffee shop.

    Just gorgeous.

    Lizzie (10) who trains 3 times a week and is much older and taller than everyone in her group told me last night.."the coach said none of us are good enough to go in to the Competitive Squad and he was looking straight at me...I don't know why I bother"

    She needs to read this post as a little reminder about team spirit and personal goals.

    Just beautiful Kerri.

    Kirstyx

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  22. You have put such a big smile on my face! What an amazingly proud moment - and such an important message that every little bit counts!
    p.s. this is the first time I have ever commented anywhere!

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  23. I am glad you see your children's achievements as just that.. achievements! congratulations!
    Your child's best effort ( in any area) is the greatest achievement that any parent can hope for. Sadly many parents just dont get that.

    and for the record.
    I was the little one .. in ALL my classes. always in the front in photos. always wearing the hand me ups (from my little sister). Can you imagine how embarassing that is when you are the oldest in the family?

    anyhoo.. all of sudden.. I grew.. and I am now just a smidge under 6 feet tall.
    so not all the small ones (girls included) stay little.. some of us grow ..
    and GROW!! LOL

    well done on raising an amazing child.. (who regardless of his height) , will be an amazing and contributing citizen of the world.


    Ngaire
    x

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  24. Brilliant.Just brilliant. You are good mummy. {I've upgraded you from bad mummy on Facebook}, and you are blessed to have each other :-D

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  25. I'm just smiling here. Just smiling. Loved this.

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  26. Your post left me welling with pride for your son. Well done you. And him.

    I face a different dilemna. A super-competitive son who - quite possibly - wouldn't dream of entering if he didn't think he was going to win. My son (9) doesn't buy into the 'you just have to do your best' thing. So. How do you do it?

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  27. Oh, I loved this story. I was SO not an athlete in any way, shape or form at school (nothing's changed). I was an enthusiastic participant and frequently came last. In high school, my dad was a teacher at my school and often had the task on school sports days of doing the loudspeaker announcements. He would cheer me on as I limped around the oval. urghhhh

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  28. Well I teared up! Thanks for such a moving blog.

    This is going to me and my 5 year old in a few years, tries his absolute best but just isn't a natural athlete...

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  29. I've always told my kids that a winner isn't who comes first, it's whoever does their best and your boy proves it :) Coming last isn't losing, not trying in case you come last is. Winning at any cost is. Being bad tempered because things didn't go your way or you didn't come first is. I'm so glad you have a Winner Kerri :)

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  30. Um, I think I've got something in my eye, darn it. *sniff*

    Gorgeous boy, gorgeous mum. Beautiful post.

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  31. Crying.

    Bless him.

    And you.

    As a short arse myself, with short children, I can so utterly relate.

    One point.

    Gorgeous.

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  32. OMG - tears in my eyes! What a truly beautiful story!! xo

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  33. Oh my God. This made me cry. So so beautiful. What a beautiful boy ... you done good, sweetheart. XOX

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  34. Thank you all for your beautiful comments. They have meant so much to me.
    In response to Wotisunique - PLEASE don't think I am a perfect mum with all the answers. I am so far from that! And my son is competitive in other, more cerebral ways.
    All I can offer is that not trying, as you know, is all about fear of not winning, so just keep reassuring your son that you will love him and be proud of him whether he wins or comes second or last or whatever - as long as he does his best. But I'm sure you do! Our kids just come out with their own personalities, and we can do our best to help them along but essentially they are who they were always going to be. We can just run alongside them, trying our best to keep up. xxx

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  35. Kerri..what a great son he is, with a mature view yet unconfident a bit too.. He went in 3 races!! You were there!!!

    He is a short of stature person but a long on resilience & character! Terrific .. Just terrific!
    And you encouraged & supported & saw him race..that's so important.

    You know, some parents would keep kids home on swimming carnivals "because they can't compete against the squad kids" BUT not you & your son is a winner already in the race called "life" .. Xx

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  36. Kerri,

    You should be so proud of your little man.

    He is wise beyond his years.

    Reading this story was a gorgeous start to my day.

    x

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  37. My 4 children are petit too & do it for the housepoints. Last year my eldest was house captain & they won for the first time (the over all sheild) so she was wrapped & proves it's all about the house points. We're not strong swimmers, but great sport for the little ones - long distance running. All mine make it to state & my tiny then-year-6 girl won the school's sports prize!! So tell your boy there is hope!! Love Posie

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  38. Brilliant.Just brilliant. You are good mummy. {I've upgraded you from bad mummy on Facebook}, and you are blessed to have each other :-D

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  39. Um, I think I've got something in my eye, darn it. *sniff*

    Gorgeous boy, gorgeous mum. Beautiful post.

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  40. OMG Kerri, I am crying I'm so proud of your son too!! xoxo

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  41. I have actual tears streaming down my face - actual tears. Your son is awesome.

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  42. That was great, and you are great, and the two things together made me cry quite a bit. x

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  43. Beautiful post. There's that saying "sometimes it's not about whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game". Hope Little Man is holding his head up high while his mom walks on Cloud 9 x

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  44. As a Mum who sometimes struggles with the fact (inwardly) that my son, also in year 6 is short, very short, this was just the post I needed to read today.

    What a great moment for your son and you.

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  45. That just made me well up - your son is clearly AWESOME :)

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