UPDATED: winner announced below
Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that I've been having a hard time today. My writing skills have completely dried up. Perhaps it's the school holiays. Perhaps it's the heat. Perhaps it's a passing phase. Perhaps it's not. Perhaps my words escaped me permanently overnight, fled from my brain like so many refugees seeking a richer, more rewarding environment in which to form sentences.
Either way, I am broken.
I wanted to write you a blog post today. I haven't written a post since last Monday, and I knew you would be hanging out, desperately. (Except that I didn't know that at all; in truth, I was terrified that you'd forget all about me in a week, but I didn't wish to burden you with my gross insecurities.)
What to do for inspiration? Well, one of my Twitter friends suggested I pray to my altar of Simon Baker, which was a great idea, except that my husband trampled on it recently in a fit of pique, when he found me worshipping at Simon when I was supposed to be cooking the dinner. So no luck there.
Someone else suggested I 'start at the end' as the beginning is way too hard. This was a fabulous bit of advice, except that unfortunately I couldn't think of an end any more than I could think of a beginning.
So where did that leave me? Well, I could give up, let down my blog followers and wallow in wordless despair, which actually sounded very tempting (there's nothing I love better than a good wallow now and again). Or I could pull myself together, think laterally, and use the resources around me.
And that's exactly what I did. I used the resources around me. Or, to put it another way, I got my son to find words for me.
Or, to be precise, I got my son to make them up.
So here they are. New words, to replace my lost vocabulary. Brought to you by Little Man, my eleven year old son.
• Borf (a person who makes up words)
• Flabble (a constant stream of words usually from one’s mouth)
• Traditude (verb: to show leadership to a group)
• Multi-scarfee (many ways to annoy someone)
• Grassmorp/Supergrassmorp (to emphasize a word/to overemphasize a word)
• Melldoublon (1: to confuse 2: to betray)
• Scrt (1: a species of weasel 2: to flee)
• Delbor (an unnecessary weight)
• Rumbnulb (dull, lifeless)
• Hissdalinger (an item valued only to it’s owner)
• Plook ( to say something straightforward or understandable)
• Cerflunkier (exhaustion)
• Gingert (an abnormal growth on ones ear)
• Grulg (verb: to enjoy enthusiastically)
• Snurf (verb: to suffer from an emotional disturbance)
• Hydrofluffa (a waterproof woolly material)
• Defragil (adjective: that which can cause allergic reactions)
Great, huh? But wait - there's more!
A prize will be awarded to the person who creates the best sentence with these words. The winner and runner-up will be selected by Little Man (under my strict supervision). The judges' decision is final and no correspondance will be entered into, except for bribes, which are totally encouraged. Winners will be announced on Monday, 31st January 2011. In big, important font. Give it your best shot.
And for more of my son's genius, go to Sock Doc. It rocks.
AND.... we have a winner (announced 5 days late (and yes, I am ashamed)).
The two runners up are naehutch and Annieb25. Both of you lovely ladies get to design your own Sock for my son's Sock Doc site. Please email me what kind of sock you would like (see Sock Doc for other Socks) and email your specifications to me at email@example.com
And the WINNER is Agnes. Agnes, you get to design your own sock as well, plus be awarded your very own SOCK TROPHY!!!! This is the first of its kind and a huge honour.
So congratulations to our winner and runners up!!!