November 28, 2010

(Mostly) Fun And Games

Today was the third birthday party for The Child Previously Known As Toddler, who shall now be referred to as Boo. This is because
a) The Child Previously Known As Toddler is far too long a name, and
b) We've been calling her Boo since she was born anyway.

The party went extremely well, apart from several hundred hitches.

The first guests to arrive were my parents, bearing the birthday cake (as I don't bake), the adults' cake (as I don't bake) and the cupcakes (as I don't bake, and my mum bought them from the supermarket anyway).

Except that my parents weren't bearing all these things at all; they were bearing the two baked cakes, but had left the cupcakes at home. Which was a problem, as all the kids' sweets had been carefully tucked inside the pinata for later, leaving a pathetic looking spread of chips and fruit. (And we all know kids have no interest in fruit. You just put it there to look like you care about nutrition.)

So my father was dispatched to fetch the cupcakes, and I apologetically explained to the looking parents that more food was coming later. They looked sceptical. I didn't blame them.

Boo was thrilled at the arrival of her friends, a delight she expressed rather touchingly by grabbing each gift and running to place it in a corner. As you do.

Once the children were gathered, it was time for Pass The Parcel. Being a veteran mother (using 'veteran' in the sense of 'elderly') I opted for two parcels to go around the circle at once, to move the game along a little faster. It was a wise decision, as one parcel was permanently halted in the lap of little Daniel, who refused to relinquish possession of said parcel after the fourth layer was unwrapped.

Thankfully, by the time the Pass The Parcel was over, the cupcakes had arrived, and it was time for a Snack Break. Even more thankfully, every child had taken a cupcake by the time my son knocked the plate onto the floor, smashing it into a million tiny pieces. And if anyone cut their feet on the shards of crockery, thankfully they didn't start bleeding until they left my house.

Next up was the Pinata. I gathered the children around whilst my big kids took the opportunity to throw chocolate coins all over the garden for the upcoming Treasure Hunt. Unfortunately, several children noticed them tossing the chocolate coins, leading to a mad stampede of three year olds before the Pinata could even be unveiled. This sudden change of plans didn't turn out to be a problem at all, except for the one well behaved child who had obediently lined up for the scheduled game, and ended up with no chocolate coins at all. Luckily Boo could be coerced into sharing a couple of hers, but as she had collected about 37(given her home field advantage and all) this didn't exactly reflect a deep generosity of spirit.

The Pinata was a wild success (using 'wild' in the sense of 'mild'). Each of the kids had several turns, mainly because the Pinata turned out to be indestructible, seeimingly built to withstand not just parties of three year olds, but tsunamis, hurricanes, and possibly even nuclear war. In the end my son and his friend tore the bloody thing down, stomped on it, stabbed it with bamboo sticks, and ripped it apart with their hands. Lollies did not as much 'rain down' as promised as be 'tipped out' onto the floor. But the three year olds didn't care. They had lost interest by this stage anyway.

So then nothing was left but to eat the birthday cake (which was fabulous, thanks to Nana's baking and a Spongebob transfer) and open the gate to let the guests out. Presents were opened, Hubby went to work with a broom, Boo was dispatched to bed, and I scrubbed the chocolate stains on the carpet.

Using 'scrubbed the chocolate stains' in the sense of 'fell asleep'.

Boo's party was lovely. But next time, I'm hiring a fairy.


  1. Those fecking PinĂ¡tas are responsible for many a tear. Last one we had Dad took to it with a hack saw! Best thing for them I say.

  2. Ahh, I remember those days well. Mostly. Kind of. A little bit.
    Oh okay, I drank through every party and still am, I wouldn't have a clue what went on...
    Next one is daughter's 16th. I may require a vat.

  3. Oh sounds lovely and very much like every 3yo birthday I've been to. I especially like the receiving of the gifts.

    Were there any Obama styled speeches from her to her adoring party guests? She's got the skillz by the sound of her to do so.

    Over for another year #orthree

  4. My twins have their birthday next month. Looking online for fairies at this minute. And wine. Lots of wine.

  5. Reading that post caused me to break out into a sweat and suffer an anxiety attack. Good thing I had some spare valium here on my desk. I am still afraid of kids parties. All I remember is squished cake in carpets, tipped over soft drinks, children crying, parents judging & me lying in the foetal position sobbing. Please don't write of such things again.

  6. I hate those bloody indestructible pinata's !!!!!!

  7. This reminds me why I choose to go "out" for kids parties :) Our local indoor play centre puts on a mean party. You get food the kids hardly touch, cordial to rev them up, lollies to hype them, balloons to scare them, play equipment to tire them out & all while the parents can sit having a quiet (ha) cuppa or they can drop & run (best. option. ever.)

  8. The true success of a party is measured by the amount of stain remover required to clean up the squashed cake. Based on that, sounds like the party was an absolute winner ;)

  9. Hiring a Fairy - bugger that....

    I'd be heading off to one of those all-inclusive feed the kids crap, clean up the mess locales...


  10. Heidi's birthday is in January but we are having her class party on 12th December, it is a shared party with another classmate who also has a january birthday.

    So grateful it is at the other Mums house. I've gone slightly insane getting ready for it - is Lego theme. So I'm making Lego shaped food, Lego party games and Lego party bags. My only consolation is the weeks worth of blog posts we will get from it.

  11. It was my little man's 4th birthday party on Saturday too - and we had "pass the cassle" and a pinata.

    "pass the cassle" resulted in tears from the birthday boy because "I wanted the prize". the pinata was a better success as it was one that instead of beating the crap out of it each child pulls a string ... someone pulling the magic string that releases the booty... more tame - but somehow not quite as fun.

    Don't know about you - but I'm still recovering!! How would have thought a four year old birthday party would knock it out of you?!?!

  12. You are a brilliant parent to even consider having a party at home. Last time I did that I returned from picking up the chocolate crackles all over the carpet to find that one guest had scaled the door frame and was banging his grubby hands on my cornices (I kid you not- and we have 18 foot ceilings) and another guest had got so excited she had wet herself and then sat on my daughter's bed. And our couch. And the rug. Since then, it's been bowling, Luna Park, swimming, rock climbing- anywhere my house can remain untouched.
    And plesae tell me- did you cover the white couch in a sheet before these festivities? Or encase it in perspex and call it a design feature?

  13. The planning of our third 'first birthday party' in three years is looming. Looming as in 5 months away but it's already bringing me out in a rash. I wish we'd stayed at home for the first one and had a cuppa and cake round the kitchen table then we wouldn't have to replicate that feckin' circus every year to keep it all even. We could also stop having babies...that'd put an end to the hysteria.

  14. Those pinatas are NASTY. They turn perfectly nice, docile kids into Arnold Schwazenegger. The violence of it all!

  15. You had a kid's party AT HOME? Are you mad? What do you think Ronald McDonald is for? He was introduced purely as a distraction, while the kids wade into Monster Macs. Also, fairies don't exist,do they?.......

  16. Jesse had a fun time and didn't want to leave. So it was a successful party even without the fairy.
    But I still say GO the fairy.
    Then you can actually relax...... a little

  17. Those fecking PinĂ¡tas are responsible for many a tear. Last one we had Dad took to it with a hack saw! Best thing for them I say.


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