February 28, 2010

A Big Fight Over A Little Bunny

My husband and I had a Big Fight on Saturday.

Now, Big Fights are nothing new in our relationship. We've been having Big Fights ever since we first got together, back in 1847. It's not that we don't get along, in fact, we are extremely compatible, using the word 'compatible' in the sense of 'passionate, heated, and equally prone to starting an argument for no good reason at all'. And, for us, it works.

Interestingly, though, in recent times our fights have been getting less and less frequent. I could say this is because we have worked hard on our relationship and have achieved an equilibrium based on mutual respect, communication and a commitment to family values and responsible parenting. But in truth, we're both just really tired and can't be bothered.

But Saturday was different. Saturday was a Big Fight. And it was all over a very little bunny.

You see, on Saturday, I took the kids to buy a pet.

My kids have been begging me for a pet for years, and I've resisted. Of course, we had our fish, but he died (using 'he' in the sense of 'he and his many successors'), and he didn't really offer great value as far as an interactive animal experience goes.

We can't get a dog because a) of all the reasons listed here; b) I consider dogs just as much work as another child; and c) I am just as likely to have a fourth child as I am to grow a second head, or join the US Marines.

We can't get a cat, because both my husband and daughter are highly allergic.

We can't get a mouse, because I will spend my life standing on couches screaming.

So the choice was a hamster, or a bunny. Apparently bunnies smell better. So that's what we got.

Now, my husband worked on Saturday, so was not available to join our expedition to the pet shop. Which is a shame, because if he had, then perhaps we would have been able to clarify before the purchase of said bunny exactly what his position on bunny ownership was.

I thought I knew, but I was wrong.

I came home with three excited kids, a quivering bunny, a cage, and about $17,000 worth of paraphenalia. I set up the cage in our internal laundry as per the salesgirl's instruction. Bunny looked happy. Kids looked happy. My wallet looked empty. And all was content.

Until my husband arrived home.

My husband found Bunny in his cage in the laundry. This disturbed my husband because a) he didn't know we were getting a bunny (whereas I thought he did); and b) he didn't want an animal in the house (which I knew, but didn't realise 'the laundry' was considered part of 'the house' - I mean, would you?).

So therein followed a rather heated debate, during which my husband threatened to put Bunny a) out in the cold; b) back in the store; or c) in a pot on the stove. I argued that the laundry wasn't in the house, my daughter cried that Bunny was 'going to freeze outside' (it was around 28 degrees), my son told us all off for shouting, and Toddler giggled maniacally (as she is wont to do).

But in the end, all was fine. We found a nice sheltered spot in the backyard in which to put the cage. What's more, I did some research and discovered that bunnies have this thing called 'fur' that has traditionally protected them from the elements before the days of houses and laundries and such. My daughter stopped crying, my son stopped berating, and Toddler kept giggling (as she is wont to do).

And eventually, my husband and I called a truce. I agreed that I hadn't entirely informed him that we were getting Bunny today, and he agreed that I had been Very Badly Behaved.

But if he thinks I'll ever agree that the laundry is in the house... well... he's got another thing coming.

When was the last time you fought with your partner?

20 comments:

  1. i fight with my boyfriend all the time. and i say i because well i do the yelling.

    our most recent would have been about money. we fight a lot about money. mainly because he thinks it is an awesome idea to bet on sports. you know that charity shield nrl crap. yep. if that last kick was scored $85 for us {$15 bet}. but nope. the idiot missed. so we didnt win any money. it shits me to tears that he thinks he will be a quick fix. when it isnt.

    :)

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  2. We never used to argue much at all. Then we had a child. Now, we just assume we each know what the other is doing, and it makes for some interesting arguments!

    eg. "I *told* you I was going out" "No you didn't" "Well, then, you should just *know*" etc. etc. (with a little 'well done darling' thrown in every now and then to the toddler, which really makes us feel like we're going insane).

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  3. The great fight for 2010 has not yet taken place. Various squabbles yes, but knock down drag out fights (metaphorically speaking of course) have not taken place. I'm thinking probably in April after we get back from our long awaited holiday. The great fight of 2009 took place in winter over a set of keys. I nearly changed my facebook status to "Sarah is no longer married" but I didn't. Which is lucky for him.

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  4. Ah, that would be last week and I blogged about it but didn't publish because I wasn't nearly as kind as you and much more emotional.

    What was it over? Me doing 'nothing'.
    I was sick for a week!!! It's hard to do stuff when you're sick.

    Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent...finally! It's all over now...the fight that is, not the marriage!

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  5. ooooohhhhh I want a bunny but it is illegal to have bunnies in QLD (stupid government) - i look forward to hearing all about the cute thing it will no doubt do!
    W

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  6. Sigh - in order to have an argument with ones partner one must have a partner - last time I argued with the equivalent - father of children - was very, very recent over the ever wonderful and great money...
    Our fights are epic - hence why we are no longer together - and although we got on well enough to be best friends and very close its the fights that kill the relationship enough for it not to be a marriage or relationship...horrid...
    Thank you for sharing story of bunny - nothing is worse than an argument.

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  7. Why fight when you can just sulk for hours, deny anything is wrong yet refuse to talk to him, and sigh and turn over loudly (or sigh loudly and turn over- both work) the minute he gets into bed with you? That's worked for us women for years!

    (Glad the bunny got to stay)

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  8. Good luck with Bunny :) We have two & they're nice pets (better than the dogs by far). Watch out for frosts because bunnies have fur but they also usually live underground so if it's really cold overnight, especially for a few nights in a row then bunny might like to have more shelter, like the not inside laundry or the garage :)

    Last big fight with my partner was in July 2009, in the car, in front of my children because he couldn't take a hint (read that as being told, asked, begged to stop & he refused to)and I got to the point of no return. So we're no longer together and we no longer fight (I just ignore him now because I can). I did change my facebook status :)

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  9. ha ha ha, a classic luckely you did not buy a baby pyton as a pet! with my husband when we have disagreement generally are do to culture differences, luckily after 18 years togheter also this is disappering, great post very funny, long life to the bunny, if cut short ,got same great recipes for "bunny casserole" love ooxx

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  10. We used to have a pet bunny too but it died after being left outside, they catch myxomatosis from mozzie bites apparently.

    When we fight it seems really important at the time but when you try to articulate it later it sounds like a huge row over nothing.... very frustrating really.

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  11. Recently had a fight over what time our kids will go to bed. We have no kids, and if all goes to plan probably won't for a good many years.

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  12. Brilliant, Kerri, although you would have been better off asking when was the last time I DIDN'T fight with Mrs F........

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  13. we have a bunny...he lives inside the house and is litter trained just like a cat would be, he knows his name and likes to sit on people's feet...he even has a lead and harness for walks...and when a rabbit licks you (rarely) it's a sign of trust....out of all our pets, he's my favourite...but shhh don't tell the others...

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  14. I'm just impressed that your husband went into the laundry voluntarily. My husband only goes into our laundry because he has to pass it on his way to the toilet.

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  15. Ahhahahahahha, when was the last time you had a fight? hahahahaha, what a funny joke, implying that a relationship as perfectly harmonious as mine ever descends into disagreement, I mean really, how terribly, terribly funny, ahahahahaha, fighting, me? and my partner? stop it, stop it

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  16. Oh, I forgot to say, 24 hours ago. Not even. Over driving. And directions. Could break the best of us.

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  17. We don't really fight that much. But before you think that we're A) Lost interest in one another and live in a passion-less relationship; or B) That we are one of those creepy couples who never fight but will one day kill one another in a homicidal rage, we do argue. Plenty. But post-baby it doesn't really escalate. He says his piece. I say mine. But we don't feel the need to have the other person come around to our way of thinking anymore. Which lets face it, is sometimes like beating your head against a brick wall.

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  18. Just FYI, rabbits do not cope with the heat, at all. They really should be inside during hot weather and cold weather. They live in burrows in the wild - they don't have that opportunity as pets. They also have heart attacks if they are stuck in their cages and can't escape from a predator (e.g. cat) even if the cat doesn't have the ability to physically harm the rabbit.

    Ideally, they should be kept indoors. Mine is litter trained and is essentially like a very quiet cat.

    Also, please don't feed Bunny the crap they sell in the food store. It is really bad for them. They need lots of quality oaten hay, minimal pellets (ideally Oxbow) and leafy green vegetables that are high in fibre.

    Also, when he gets into his hormonal teenage stage, be prepared for some humping, just like a dog. And marking of territory. It won't stop until you get them spayed.

    Basically, rabbits are pretty complicated animals, and people don't realise that when they buy them unfortunately.

    I am not sure if you live in Sydney, but the vet on Bronte Road is very rabbit friendly. Lots of vets have no idea how to treat them, and thus, kill them.

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  19. Just FYI, rabbits do not cope with the heat, at all. They really should be inside during hot weather and cold weather. They live in burrows in the wild - they don't have that opportunity as pets. They also have heart attacks if they are stuck in their cages and can't escape from a predator (e.g. cat) even if the cat doesn't have the ability to physically harm the rabbit.

    Ideally, they should be kept indoors. Mine is litter trained and is essentially like a very quiet cat.

    Also, please don't feed Bunny the crap they sell in the food store. It is really bad for them. They need lots of quality oaten hay, minimal pellets (ideally Oxbow) and leafy green vegetables that are high in fibre.

    Also, when he gets into his hormonal teenage stage, be prepared for some humping, just like a dog. And marking of territory. It won't stop until you get them spayed.

    Basically, rabbits are pretty complicated animals, and people don't realise that when they buy them unfortunately.

    I am not sure if you live in Sydney, but the vet on Bronte Road is very rabbit friendly. Lots of vets have no idea how to treat them, and thus, kill them.

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  20. We don't really fight that much. But before you think that we're A) Lost interest in one another and live in a passion-less relationship; or B) That we are one of those creepy couples who never fight but will one day kill one another in a homicidal rage, we do argue. Plenty. But post-baby it doesn't really escalate. He says his piece. I say mine. But we don't feel the need to have the other person come around to our way of thinking anymore. Which lets face it, is sometimes like beating your head against a brick wall.

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