So NSW now has a female Premier. And she is my age (okay, so very slightly younger than me, but let's not quibble about little details like age. Or policies. Or opinions on abortion.)
And it's got me thinking: why?
Not: "Why a female politician", because clearly a female politician is just as good as a male politician. Better, actually, because she is marginally less likely to engage in warfare (which admittedly is unlikely on a state level anyway, but you never know when Victoria or Queensland are going to launch a pre-emptive strike).
Furthermore, a female politician is marginally less likely to have sex with a staffer (okay! I said marginally).
No, what I meant was: "Why would anyone want to be a politician - female or otherwise?" (using 'otherwise' in the sense of 'male or transgender', as I am all for equal opportunity).
I truly can't think of any less appealing occupation than politics, other than, perhaps, elevator attendant, and this is only because of my lifetime fear of lifts.
Of course, there's a bit of power, a lot of fame, and plenty of staffers to boss around (and sleep with, should the urge take you).
But at what cost? There are the obvious disadvantages - no time with loved ones, intense media scrutiny, enemies plotting to destroy you, having to wear grey suits every day.
More importantly, though, it's the very fact of having to engage in the political process.
I despise politics. I can't get involved with the P&F at school, as the debate that is required to achieve anything from organising a fundraiser to choosing the teachers' gifts makes me want to strangle myself slowly with the agenda.
Oh don't get me wrong. I'd be delighted to lead the P&F, or indeed the state, or even the country. I just don't have patience for any discussion or negotiation. Which I suppose would make me a dictator.
So Premier, if you tire of your job, feel free to call on me. I may not be fair, I may not be democratic, but I'll certainly get things done.
And if a staffer comes along who looks like Simon Baker, I reserve the right to sleep with him.
I don't know if Simon Baker wants to sleep with women that bite???
ReplyDeleteI always thought a dictator was a potato with a penis.
ReplyDeleteHuh, learn something new every day.
I would vote for you, on the proviso that you would make it law to throw eggs at cars that do not stop at crosswalks. And if the drivers are other mothers who don't stop, when they see you standing by the crosswalk holding on to your toddler's hand, then it should be law not only to throw eggs at them, but open their card door and slap them silly. With a smelly fish.
ReplyDeleteIf you're ok with that, consider me a strong supporter.
Hear, hear! Well said!!
ReplyDeleteVote 1 for Kerri Sackville...
oh, but you don't actually get to vote for dictators, do you?
Whatever!
I just know that when you run for Premier your platform will be made of lego. Sparkling, shiny clean lego.
ReplyDeleteWhen aliens land they will say "take me to your leader" and I will make them don freshly laundered socks before they walk on the yellow lego brick road to your dishwasher.
People - beware that a vote for Kerri may very well be a vote for over cleaned toys! But on the less important stuff like health, education, housing - she'll be brilliant.
As a dictator, couldn't you just ORDER Simon Baker to sleep with you? And, you know, me?
ReplyDeleteMama Mogantosh:
ReplyDeleteOF COURSE!!!
Why didn't I think of that???
Okay, Australia... I'm coming!!!
Historically, female political leaders have been just as willing to start wars for their own ends - Thatcher, Golda Meyer, Indira Gandhi. Which makes me wonder about our new premier.....
ReplyDeleteMama Mogantosh:
ReplyDeleteOF COURSE!!!
Why didn't I think of that???
Okay, Australia... I'm coming!!!
Historically, female political leaders have been just as willing to start wars for their own ends - Thatcher, Golda Meyer, Indira Gandhi. Which makes me wonder about our new premier.....
ReplyDeleteI don't know if Simon Baker wants to sleep with women that bite???
ReplyDelete