I’m really conflicted about my new cleaning lady.
She does a great job, but I’m horribly guilty about letting her work for me. I feel a pang of anxiety every time I watch her polish my floor, carry the washing, tidy the toys, or even put the dishes in the machine.
She’s not an illegal immigrant so I’m not worried about her being hauled off to a detention centre (which incidentally just happened to the cleaning lady of a friend of mine). My cleaner’s English isn’t absolutely fluent yet, but I know for a fact that she’s an Australian citizen.
And not that she’s elderly, like my mother’s ex-cleaning lady. (Honestly, that poor woman must have been 86, I thought she’d expire just walking up the path to the front door). No, this cleaning lady is young and sprightly and full of energy. She can’t wait to get the broom into her hand and start sweeping.
And it’s not that she is overqualified for the job – you know, a paediatric neurosurgeon from Bosnia who can’t get her degree recognised here. She has absolutely no formal qualifications; in fact, she hasn’t even finished school.
Well, actually, she hasn’t even started school.
You see, she’s only two years old.
Yes, my latest cleaning lady is my very own daughter, a vision in her pink skirt, flower top, and yellow rubber gloves.
It’s her latest obsession. Toddler loves to clean. Give her a messy floor and she’ll sweep it. Give her a puddle of water and she’ll sponge it. Give her a box of blocks, and she’ll tip them onto the floor, only to put them back again.
Look, don’t get me wrong, one part of me is utterly ecstatic about this turn of affairs. The problem is, her new interest kind of clashes with my feminist tendencies, and the values I am trying to instill in my children.
My son, at the age of ten, has still never voluntarily cleaned anything in his life, not even his teeth. Honestly, the child expects a treat just for putting his feet into his shoes in the morning.
But my other daughter, now eight, also seems to have been struck by the tidy fairy. What’s more, she is quite the stickler for detail. Just the other day, for example, my husband walked into Pinkela’s room to find her surrounded by piles of clothes which she had pulled from the drawers in her wardrobe. He was about to discipline her, when he noticed that she was conscientiously folding each item of clothing and returning it to its rightful place. She simply hadn’t been satisfied with the way that I had done it.
So here I am, trying to teach my kids about gender equality, as my son runs around the house ridding the world of imaginary enemies, whilst my daughters run around the house ridding the world of imaginary stains.
How do I resolve this conflict? Do I encourage Toddler in her newfound hobby, ignoring the cries of my feminist conscience? Or do I prise the scourer from her hands, and try to interest her in a family game of Sword-Fighting Car-Worshipping Devil Monsters from AFL Hell?
Then again, perhaps there’s no conflict at all. It’s possible that I can have my cake, and get my girls to brush away the crumbs, too.
After all, isn’t feminism about a woman’s right to choose?
Relax, enjoy and remember that you're allowing your children to express themselves in their own way :) Will that fly? lol
ReplyDeleteMy daughter can't clean up after herself but constantly tries to make her brother clean up. I keep telling myself that when they're older they'll both know how to do it and will. Fingers crossed, legs crossed... oh nope, the legs are crossed in case I need to sneeze not for luck ;)
Preschooler feminism is a tricky not to crack. Especially tricky when you're a stay-at-home mum and your previously right-on relationship has divided along suspiciously traditional lines...(he taxes and garbage, me dinners and laundry.) I try to make up for it by teaching Ivy to sing 'Well done, Sister Suffragette.'
ReplyDeleteThen I get back to the washing-up.
I say relax and enjoy the dream,just make sure you stock up on yellow rubber gloves so that Pinkela is never caught short. Heaven forbid she should run out of gloves.
ReplyDeleteWhat a girl!If I was a hundred years younger, I'd propose to her. Would you be a nice mother in law ? I promise I would be a dutiful son in law.....
ReplyDeleteHmmm...where did I go wrong? Daughters are now 20 and 16 and have yet to voluntarily clean anything (except the last bit in the jar of Nutella)
ReplyDeleteMind you, their mum was the same....so perhaps it was just that I did it all?
As a woman I say it's all about choice... Pinkela has obviously chosen the path of cleanliness, I say encourage this, extend her, challenge her... suggest she may like a new steam mop as a gift... or point out the pretty colours of dysons... she could be encouraged to make her own feather duster from an array of reject shop feathers and straws... craft being a well known favourite past time of those of the cleanliness persuasion. Then, when your house is sparkling, let me know, I'll give you my address and she can teach Miss8 how to clean rather than collect tissues to hoard under her pillow.
ReplyDeleteThey may grow out of it. I used to have a toy washing line as a kid, and loved hanging out anything that pegs would hold up. I will now do any part of the washing process quite happily, except hanging the stuff on the line, which requires bribery, corruption and threats from mum and dad.
ReplyDeleteIt also used to be my ambition in life to get to wash the dishes instead of drying. Last time my brother and I were on the dishes, we scissors, paper, rock-ed, with winner drying and loser washing.
All I'm going to say on this is: Where can I get me one of those?
ReplyDeleteShe sounds a little like my 2yo. Tonight after throwing a 2yo tantrum myself, after my 5yo boy knocked his bowl of rice on the floor, that went something like this, "Ohhhhhhh, what do you think you are doing? Look at that mess. Pick that up! Who's going to clean that up?? Why am I the only one that cleans up messes around here?!?", my darling little 2 year old ran off to the broom cupboard to get the dustpan & brush and swept it all up for me. I don't call her my little angel for nothing.
ReplyDeleteIt's not the worst way she could keep herself occupied ;-)
ReplyDeleteI started making my bed every day from a young age, I never grew out of it and now I am completely anal about making it. Dishes, vacuuming, whatever else be damned, but let me have my hospital corners!
Hi Kerri,
ReplyDeleteLoved this post! What would it cost for you to come to my place (in Perth) and give me some pointers so that my kids can become more like yours? Any tips would be SOOO welcome.
x
My little sister (age 2) has a cleaning obsession too! Mum and I are baffled as to where she gets it from since neither mum nor my sister's father are particularly domestic! She's always making sure people put things away and the floor gets wiped etc. etc. I even managed to get her to help me wash my car... Though she did insist on putting my drying cloths in the water and then putting little pebbles in the water so maybe she's not quite as cleaning nuts as I thought... Haha...
ReplyDeleteHa! That's fantastic. Get down on your knees Kerri and be thankful for two cleaning fairies. and just make sure your son does his bit too (volutarily or not) and all will be well. It's not anti-feminist to clean!
ReplyDeleteI am envious - the only time anyone pitches in to clean up our place is when I become very very stressed and yell at them. lots.
ReplyDeleteThe yelling gets louder and more intense when we have "people coming over". As in "tidy up your room, we have PEOPLE coming over", or "pick up your shoes from the lounge room, we have PEOPLE coming over".
One time my son (who was about 4 at the time) told me he hated the "people"!
In all honesty I would be rejoycing (except spelled properly) daughter went through this stage, as did son, now neither of them do (unless its wanting to help with the kind of jobs you don't want their help like, say, picking up bits of the glass they just dropped)
ReplyDeleteIt will pass, unfortunately, or maybe you'll be very fortunate and have tidy teens :)
My little sister (age 2) has a cleaning obsession too! Mum and I are baffled as to where she gets it from since neither mum nor my sister's father are particularly domestic! She's always making sure people put things away and the floor gets wiped etc. etc. I even managed to get her to help me wash my car... Though she did insist on putting my drying cloths in the water and then putting little pebbles in the water so maybe she's not quite as cleaning nuts as I thought... Haha...
ReplyDeleteIt's not the worst way she could keep herself occupied ;-)
ReplyDeleteI started making my bed every day from a young age, I never grew out of it and now I am completely anal about making it. Dishes, vacuuming, whatever else be damned, but let me have my hospital corners!
She sounds a little like my 2yo. Tonight after throwing a 2yo tantrum myself, after my 5yo boy knocked his bowl of rice on the floor, that went something like this, "Ohhhhhhh, what do you think you are doing? Look at that mess. Pick that up! Who's going to clean that up?? Why am I the only one that cleans up messes around here?!?", my darling little 2 year old ran off to the broom cupboard to get the dustpan & brush and swept it all up for me. I don't call her my little angel for nothing.
ReplyDelete