September 3, 2009

Techno Trouble

This week was a disaster. Both my computer and mobile phone died within three days, raising the obvious question of me being cursed by modern technology – perhaps in retribution for the bitter tirades I unleash on it at regular intervals.

Luckily, I back up my computer religiously – abut once a year – so I only lost several thousand documents and emails and about a billion pictures. No biggie. Oh, and all my email addresses were zapped too, as I’d never worked out how to save them in a file. Ah well, I could always use the phone, right?

Well, no. Sadly my telephone numbers have been lost forever too, as apparently neither phones nor SIM cards are salvageable after ten minutes immersed in a boiling lamb casserole. The silly phone shouldn’t have been near the stove in the first place. I told it not to go there but it didn't listen. And it certainly doesn't listen now. It doesn't even ring, the stupid thing.

And unfortunately I don't remember anyone’s number except my own, and even that I have to look up occasionally. I don’t even know my husband’s work number. Why would I? I press the speed dial and there it is.

Still, losing all my contacts were just mere nuisances compared to the pain I underwent in order to get my technology (and life) up and running again.

First, I had to pay two professionals an exorbitant amount of money just to tell me that my beloved stupid gadgets were dead (yes, that will teach me to seek a second opinion).

Then I had to replace them. But with what? Clearly not with the brands I had previously, as THEY BROKE (okay, one broke with a little assistance, but still) so they were obviously USELESS. I needed different brands. And when I'm confronted with more than two options (for example, "chocolate or vanilla") my brain goes all fuzzy and everything starts to look the same. Or different. I can’t even tell anymore.

So I had to ask someone else what to get, and just stick with that, because god knows getting a second opinion didn’t work very well the last time. Then of course I had to find out the best price for what I'd been told to get, which I really had no energy for, because I was so emotionally drained from being told my gadgets were beyond saving that I couldn't bear to discuss it for another milisecond.

Nonethelesss, I did the research, found the best price, bought the new gadgets, took them home, discovered they were each missing the vital piece of equipment that would enable them to do what I needed them to do, returned to the store, bought the extra pieces of equipment at twice the price of the original items, brought them home, realized I had no idea how to install them, returned to the store, got the experts to install then, returned home, celebrated for about five minutes that everything was up and running and life could begin again, then decided it was all too much trouble, that I HATED technology, and that I was going off to live an organic, herbal, technology free life in the mountains.

Then my husband rang my new mobile with some great news, and my new laptop beeped with an email from a friend inviting me to a party, and all was well with the world.

13 comments:

  1. You're not cursed, the electrical appliances are out to get us. I've known it for years, but no one ever believes me. You should make sure those appliances are properly disposed of, or one night, they'll start the uprising in your house while you're sleeping...
    No, I'm not a paranoid conspiracy theorist AT ALL.

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  2. Thank god you're back on line. You went eerily quiet on twitter for a few days there...

    Apparently, as my husband recently reminded me, I survived the first three months of parenthood without an internet connection at all.

    I wouldn't know. I think I must have been in a deep state of shock...

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  3. I couldn't believe it when my computer died two years ago and the guy said, "Oh yeah, it'd reached its expiration date" when it was four frickin' years old! Of course I'd backed up, like, never, but thankfully they retrieved most of my documents - including the last seven years of photos which are all stored on iPhoto! Without prints...

    And have I learned my lesson and learned to back up?

    I have not.

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  4. I am so SICK of talking and talking and talking to my appliances and them NOT LISTENING! Do they think I am talking to myself?!

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  5. Hope u got an iPhone so u can tweet on the school run!

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  6. Just wondering if the added spice from the phone enhanced the flavour of the lamb casserole or not.

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  7. Oh, I feel your pain. My mobile died on me recently and it took 5 weeks for it to get fixed. (Um, OK, Nokia took 10 days and I took 4 weeks to take it in to them in the first place, but it was still 5 weeks without a phone). It almost killed me.

    My new contacts folder now only has 5 numbers in it. Frighteningly, this hasn't actually been a problem over the last couple of weeks...

    On the computer front though, my husband is an IT nerd and has bought and installed TWO back-up hard drives for our computer and some nifty program that backs up the contents of the main hard-drive every night. Fancy!

    I think that he is terrified of me losing my PhD files and taking even longer to finish the damn thing.

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  8. This is exactly how *I* feel about anything with the ability to go 'beep'. Especially microwave ovens. I'm also sure that they all double as alien communication devices/teleports.

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  9. It was nice and quiet, for a short while, wasn't it ?

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  10. It's got to be the next *thing* in mobiles, though, doesn't it? Scratch 'n' lick cases?

    Glad you're back online!

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  11. I understand your chagrin about the ‘missing piece’ in the box. I recently bought a fry pan, an electric one, in fact it’s called an iFrypan, I kid you not... it connects to the internet while you cook your eggs.. you just have to be adept with the flipper thingy, and always use a good quality olive oil, so you can see through it... other than that it’s great...

    except, and this is why I share your chagrin... they left a f*cking screw out of the box, and it’s lopsided! Have you ever had lopsided internet? I mean, the oil runs to the edge, you can’t see Google properly, and your eggs, well...

    I’ve tried fixing it, buying screws, but that didn’t work in the 80s, so I’ve done what I do every Friday in the pub, when the table tilts... I stack a couple of beer coasters under the gammy leg...

    now I have a new problem... everytime my iFrypan tilts I have to run across to the pub to get some new coasters...

    and you wonder why I’m never on Twitter....

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  12. It was nice and quiet, for a short while, wasn't it ?

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  13. You're not cursed, the electrical appliances are out to get us. I've known it for years, but no one ever believes me. You should make sure those appliances are properly disposed of, or one night, they'll start the uprising in your house while you're sleeping...
    No, I'm not a paranoid conspiracy theorist AT ALL.

    ReplyDelete

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