At least, until the next crisis.
This has been a tough year. My husband and I separated, I moved houses, I tried very hard to push forward in my career. It's been a time of great change, some enormous challenges, and some great triumphs. Good and bad. Ups and downs. Happys and Sads. And enormous uncertainty.
I hate uncertainty. It is very difficult for someone like me. I like to know exactly what is ahead. What will my life look like in six months? A year? What about in five years? Ten years? When I'm a hundred?
And so this is the quote that is getting me through at the moment. It's from the Tao de Ching, and though I am far from being a Taoist (or even remotely spiritual in any way) these words resonate deeply with me.
I hope they resonate with you, too.
Don't seek and don't expect.
Be patient and wait until your mud settles and your water is clear.
Be patient and wait.
Your mud will settle.
Your water will be clear.
What's your favourite quote at the moment?
Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
ReplyDeleteLovely quote sweetheart. Fave quote? Not sure. Fake it till you make it, probably xxxxx
ReplyDeleteAnother one:
ReplyDeleteIn college, I had a course in Latin, and one day the word "divorce" came up. I always figured it came from some root that meant "divide." In truth, it comes from "divertere," which means "to divert."
I believe that. All divorce does is divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff, like discussions about your mother's girdle and whether she should marry someone else
That's a good quote - difficult to live up to though, but good to aspire to :)
ReplyDeleteLovely ... i have been through what you are going through and unfortunately you have to travel through the drank nights to get ot the light. In the end there is peace of mind ... My inspirational quote is:
ReplyDeleteBreathe the fullness of today into your soul,
For tomorrow is but a promise left in someone else's keeping,
No single moment will ever be repeated,
Cherish each one for its own uniqueness,
With each new sunrise another tomorrow is born,
An one more tomorrow becomes today.
One day at a time Kerri xx
Hi Kerri, great quote. I recently tried really hard to stop worrying about stuff and good stuff came my way. My water is clear at the moment and yours will clear too.
ReplyDeleteHi Kerri,
ReplyDeleteI had no idea about your separation. I am so sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I have a number of friends going through similar and it's all high highs and low lows, and not a lot in the middle. Hope you find your balance!
As for quote? I am all about 'fortune favours the bold'. That one has made a few large life decisions for me!
Linda xo
beautiful, I have many quotes too. But this one is good; you'll get through it one day (or one mishap) at a time.
ReplyDeleteLovely thing to realise.
ReplyDeleteI find uncertainty unbearable - it's easily my worst anxiety trigger. Whenever I find myself pulled into the black hole of my worried min I go back to this one:
ReplyDelete"Everything will be alright in the end. If everything is not alright, it is not the end"
This is exactly what I needed to read today. I've just separated from my husband and am going crazy trying to figure out if I'm doing the right thing or not - this helped a lot. Thank you x
ReplyDeleteThat's really beautiful Yolanda, thank you x
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you! And yes. Mine will clear too xxx
ReplyDeleteSO glad. Hang in there xxx
ReplyDeleteYes! I love that one too x
ReplyDeleteLOL. Mishap more likely! x
ReplyDeleteOooh! I LOVE that one. Thanks Linda x
ReplyDeleteAh JJ... all the best quotes are difficult to live up to x
ReplyDeleteYou know Su, that all made TOTAL sense until you came to the part about girdle......
ReplyDeleteLOL. Oh GOD I've lived that one! Still am!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily inspirational, but as someone who's the first to jump in and do something for someone else and then end up resenting myself because I have no time I have this as my phone background - When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm learning to say yes to myself.
So sorry to hear you're going through a tough time Kerri, and about your separation. That's very rough for all of you. I hate uncertainty too and if I'm honest, striving to get things back onto an 'even keel' as quickly as possible has been my long-term strategy for remaining anxiety-free (but sometimes even I have to realise the keel is uneven for a reason and I'd be better off addressing why!).
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best getting beyond the limbo stage and to a place of peace. X
I've been really edgy lately, not because I sense real doom, but the relative 'doom' of big changes coming after a long stretch of limbo. Life as I do not yet know it. The Very Uncomfortable before the Truer and Better. The disorientation of not being able to visualise or control the future, the letting go of what is familiar. Quite often, I go back to:
ReplyDelete"I am safe. It's only change." It helps.
Much love to you, Kerri xxx
Friend of mine (mother of 3) gave me a lovely quote when my son was born: "There will be yucky days, but they will pass." I realise now that this quote applies not only to newborns, but life in general ;)
ReplyDelete"It is what it is".
ReplyDeleteI've had 2 very significant things happen to me in the past 4 years. One was my marriage ending, and the other was my daughter being diagnosed with epilepsy. Both of these things have been life changing, gut wrenching, trying, complicated, painful and sad. After living through these two things, I realised the question "why?" can drive you insane. WHY did my marriage end? WHY did this happen to my daughter? WHY can't the doctors control her seizures with medication? WHY couldn't we sort out our differences for the sake of the children? And after a long time (I'm a slow learner) I realised there are no answers to these questions. Shit happens. Bad shit as well as good shit. This is our lot in life, and IT IS WHAT IT IS. When I understood that, it was liberating.
4 years after my marriage ended, there are still bad times. My daughter suffers from her condition every single day. But if I can remember this quote and say it as a sort of Mantra, it helps to keep things in perspective.
I hope you're doing ok Kerri. Be kind to yourself xxx
I'll add this one to your collection, a great one I recently found from Winston Churchill:
ReplyDeleteYou know the story 'we're going on a bear hunt'?
ReplyDelete'You cant go over it, you can't go under it, you can't go around it, you gotta go through it.'
I find it applies to so many things.
Xxx
Tommy Emmanuel's favourite quote which I also use, is " Go for it " Three simple words, but if you don't try, you'll never know...Yes Kerri, I HAVE met Tommy. He's my * Simon Baker * :-)
ReplyDeleteDesiderata (Max Ehrmann)
ReplyDeleteGo placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy
Lovely quote, Kerri. Mine is, "This, too, shall pass". Everything changes, comes to an end, whether it is complete or not. The mud is settling for me, & the waters are clearing - slowly. It has been such a long time coming.
ReplyDelete"Be patient and wait until your mud settles and your water is clear". "This, too, shall pass". xx
Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. I really don't cope with change and uncertainty either, which basically means I don't cope with life, as that is what life is. Sigh. I love the idea of keeping a quote book, though. A couple of my favourites are : Be yourself, everybody else is taken by Oscar Wilde and from good old Dr Phil: You wouldn't worry about what other people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did
ReplyDeleteI love that. Very muchly.
ReplyDeleteGOOD. It's so important and so hard for us women to do x
ReplyDeleteThe Oscar Wilde one is in my book, and I ADORE the one by Dr Phil - thank you!
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes yes YES. Beautiful quote, that one x
ReplyDeleteOh! I once lived with someone who had that on the wall. I thought the origin was unknown? Am I out of date?
ReplyDeleteReally???? But not in *that* way, right?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that book but I'm ashamed to say I've never considered the metaphorical meaning. THANK YOU for showing me!
ReplyDeleteYou too, love. And yes. It is what it is x
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY x
ReplyDeleteGorgeous. Thank you. And to you too hon x
ReplyDeleteThanks honey x
ReplyDeleteI really love quotes, I don't have a notebook per se, but I do have a pinboard on pinterest which I guess is a virtual notebook. My love of quotes started when a friend gave me a set of 30 cards called "I believe in you" with a quote for every day. I was being fighting Thyroid Cancer at the time and the words on the cards really resonated with me. I also hate uncertainty and love to know what's ahead but Cancer taught me a lot of things and mostly, it taught me to live for the moment. That I can control! So, that being said, my favourite quote right now, is from Zac Sobiech "you don't have to find out you're dying to start living."
ReplyDeleteLove love love this Kerri. My favourite quote is 'leap and the net will appear'
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear the news. You are a true inspiration to a lot of us and having followed you for the past few years I am now even more inspired by you than ever before....your achievements are even more impressive whilst dealing with private relationship matters ....Rick S
ReplyDeleteMy quotes tend to change. lately any quote about patience resonates with me.
ReplyDeleteAs usual I am very late to comment ("Better late than dead on time" as my father said) I tend to favour comments by Oscar Wilde, maybe it's the English teacher in me...that acid wit in his paradoxes is just so spot on with human nature. I have a magnet on the fridge with one of my favourites, "Life is too important to be taken seriously". Another fav - "The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about." Another is when Lady Bracknell tells Earnest (who's just confessed to being an orphan), "To lose one parent, Mr Worthing may be a misfortune, to lose two looks like carelessness". Sorry, becoming a bore! Good luck with things, Kerri. xx
ReplyDeleteI love this quote :) I don't have any favourites. But I do love your idea of a quote book because I do find inspiration from such things. My therapist had me doing positive mantras at one stage to change my negative thinking. The mind is a powerful place.
ReplyDeleteHi Kerri I love this quote! Like you I have been through a year of personal upheaval and the challenges just seem to keep coming - enough already I say! I am attempting to not worry about the future and be in the moment but somedays are better than others. I really hope your mud settles soon and mine as well!
ReplyDelete"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
ReplyDeleteThe credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeatTheodore Roosevelt'
lol - I used to have it stuck up beside my bathroom mirror!!
ReplyDelete"Desiderata" means "desired things" in latin. It was written by American poet Max Ehrmann in 1927, but didn't become popular until well after his death. This is my other favourite poem of his...
"A Prayer"
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me in the desolation of other times.
May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.
Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.
Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be such as shall keep me friendly with myself.
Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my path.
Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.
And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
Oh, and if you haven't already, you MUST read The Prophet by Khalil Gibran.... :-)
ReplyDeleteI had this on my wall for my entire childhood - mum was a bit of a hippie. Still know it so well. LOVE.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous x
ReplyDeleteHe was one smart man, that Roosevelt x
ReplyDeleteHere's to both of us xxx
ReplyDeleteIsn't it? I've found it to be so helpful. And it's never too late to start!
ReplyDeleteNo! You're never a bore! They are fab!
ReplyDeleteIt's a virtue, you know.. :-)
ReplyDeleteOH! Thank you Rick. Truly x
ReplyDeleteThat is SO true and really beautiful. Thanks Sammie. So glad you're doing well xxx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your separation and the challenges you have had this year. I love your idea of a quote book Kerri. A very simple quote "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes". xx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your news.
ReplyDeleteMy favourites of the moment are "Never take a person's dignity, it is worth everything to them and nothing to you" and
It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.
Lawrence G. Lovasik
Hi Kerry,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I have anxiety too and I am hoping to be a writer one day just like you (On a side note: You are very inspiring to me!)
This is my favourite quote to get me through my uncertain anxious times. It's a simple one but I like it (obviously because it has to do with writing!)
"Not to spoil the ending, but everything is going to be ok."
(I wish I could source it properly - I found it on the 'ReachOut FB page one day)
xx