January 8, 2013

RIP iPad. And My Sanity.

So yesterday I had to take my iPad to be euthanized fixed. It was an emotional time for me, because a) I am very attached to my iPad, and b) my five year old was screaming at me and hitting me on the leg because I didn't buy her a (second) chocolate.

I had made an appointment at the Apple store, and rushed like a crazy person to be there on time. Sadly, the twenty five thousand staff members didn't seem to have quite the same sense of urgency, because they sent me over to sit at a table with several other people (including one man who appeared to be a homeless person  who came to use the free WiFi and a woman who I could actually hear seething) for at least another fifteen minutes.

Artist's Impression Of My iPad Screen

I killed time swatting at the five year old on my leg and hacking into the Apple Store computer (which involved swiping the screen and pressing one button). I discovered that I was described on their appointment list as 'Woman In Multi-Coloured Singlet', which pleased me, as alternative titles could well have been 'Tired Looking Middle Aged Mother With Fuzzy Hair', 'Chick With One Enormous Sticky-Out Ear' or 'Person Attached To Extremely Loud And Annoying Five Year Old'.

Finally, a pleasant looking twelve year old dude with roguish long hair came over to serve me.

"So what seems to be the problem?" he asked.

"My screen is broken," I said. "I can hear the iPad working, but the screen is dead."

"Ah..." he nodded wisely. "That's difficult, because the screen is one of the most important parts."

I nodded too. "Yes," I agreed. "Because without the screen you can't actually see anything."

He nodded again, a little uncertainly this time. "Um... well, I'll just go see if I can restore the screen with *insert technical term I didn't understand here*".

"Okay," I said, and rubbed my leg where the five year old was gnawing on it.

A few minutes later the twelve year old returned with my iPad.

"Unfortunately the *insert technical term I didn't understand here* didn't fix the problem. You will have to purchase a new iPad at *insert price that made me weep here*."

"Okay," I said, and rubbed my eyes where the tears were flowing. Given, I had no idea whether he was telling the truth or not, as I a) didn't understand the technical term, and b) had no idea whether he actually performed said technical thingy that I didn't understand. But I had absolutely no choice. He was twelve, and I knew nothing about fixing iPads, so I handed over the money.

Which leaves me here, now, with my brand new iPad and a lot less money. Bruised, but not broken.

Okay, a little bit broken. But less broken than my poor old iPad. At least, according to the twelve year old. Who may or may not have been telling the truth....

Yup. Can somebody please pass the vodka?


  1. Will your contents insurance cover it? Mine did when I left my iPhone on the roof of my car and only remembered as it fell off and was run over by a truck....

    Good luck with that!

  2. Mine got broken when seven year old dropped it. Our insurance covered $100 of the $450 it cost to get a new one. The new one is now covered in the biggest, ugliest silicone cover you've ever seen, but so far so good.

    Many of my daughter's peers got their own IPad for Christmas. I wonder how long most of them will last before they too have to visit the apple store.

    My daughter got a skateboard.

  3. Everyone should be allocated a phone-a-geek so when you are standing there having a conversation that is slipping into technobabble you can phone up and get your own geek to provide translation and techno-bullshit-filtering services to you. Then, at Christmas, you can send your geek a subscription to Silicon Chip so they can spend their idle time reading about controversies over proposed upgrades to popular linux operating systems and everyone is happy. Kind of like a fairy god-mother but with weedier biceps. (Note: my husb = geek)

  4. Aha - this is where being married to a IT guru comes in handy.

  5. Sounds like your husband and Dadabulous were separated at birth.

  6. Didn't even occur to me to ask! *runs and looks*

  7. My daughter got an iTouch for her birthday. She hasn't broken it yet (it's much more hardy than an iPad) but barely a week goes by where she doesn't lose it for several days. No WAY is she getting an iPad or iPhone for... well.. probably EVER.

  8. Oh I LOVE that idea. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

  9. I was recently at the Apple store to get a verdict on my broken phone (verdict was it's very broken, you need a new one) and I cried. I thought the guy would have thought I was weird, but a few of my friends admitted they teared over broken technology too, so maybe they get that all the time.

  10. Teach 'em young I say.
    Tell the five year old that one chocolate is calorie free, but the second one will put five pounds on her hips. But find a way to say it that doesn't give her body image issues.....
    How did you manage to break a screen??

  11. Get a nice sturdy case for it so even if it gets dropped it will hopefully survive!
    Mine has been in a case since I took it out of the box! :)
    I do wonder if you could have replaced the screen on the old one (most Asian stores do it) and it would have been ok? It does pay to have a geek to ask I guess!
    If all else fails buy the 5 year old an iPod touch and don't give her the iPad! (works for us)
    Long live the new iPad!

  12. Lisa@Giving back GirlJanuary 9, 2013 at 8:07 AM

    My Ipad is also dying thanks to too many rabid boys playing Minecraft or some other shoot-em up game too much. I have worked out when the screen goes that weird blue colour - if I "smear" it aggressively with the palm of my hand over and over about 300 times, sometimes I'll catch a little bit of normal screen and drag it back to life. I know these are all technical terms you may struggle with however this technique has been perfected by my own actual 12 year old, who still wants to play Mine Craft on it. Whatever works. It's just not a crowd friendly technique, especially on a plane, where I ignore questioning gazes around me especially if I'm determined to read my book.

  13. Lisa @ Giving back GirlJanuary 9, 2013 at 8:11 AM

    I also have ginormous sticky out ear. Mum promised an operation to glue it back when I was little, but I heard stories of the glue coming away and all the skin being pulled off so I just grew my hair long instead. Maybe it's a badge of smartness/gorgeousness/wit/athleticism (insert choice)

  14. LOL. It is a very emotional time!!!

  15. She's FIVE! She doesn't HAVE HIPS!!!! (and she broke the screen)

  16. LOL. My son is also addicted to Minecraft but he is NOT permitted to play it on my iPad because then I WILL NEVER GET IT BACK. You are too kind.

  17. Yes, that is the advantage of marrying a geek. Another advantage is that engineers are generally not burdened by obsessions with clean white surfaces and can live with clutter. They don't get your cultural references, though. There is just a wooshing sound as your amusing interweavings of literary quotes into general conversation fly right on by.

  18. I don't have an iAnything. The only Apples at Chez Fender, are Royal Galas. I'm so happy... :-)

  19. dubaiunveiled.wordpress.comJanuary 9, 2013 at 7:51 PM

    Enjoying your blog v. much! I've been following for a little while and thought it was high time I said hi and thanks for the great reads!

  20. Hello!!! Thanks so much for dropping by! Nice to have you xxx

  21. Holy shit! LMFAO! Recent, but devoted reader.

    Thanks for keeping me semi-sane!!!

  22. Backing Fracking? N.O. there is no safe fracking especially not in the Karoo, South Africa, where I live, where there is no water (or not enough for fracking anyway) and drill/well/site integrity will be dubious to say the least. No!

  23. Sorry to hear about your first iPad not being resurrected from the dead. I’ve cracked many screens in my time, Apple and android products alike. I managed to be lucky once with only the glass of my iPad cracking but the LCD still working, so I only had to get the glass replaced instead of buying a new one.



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