June 7, 2012

Meet The Lingerie Author

This morning I had a revelation. I was listening to an interview with two of the bunnies athletes from the Lingerie Football team touring Australia. They totally won me over. You see, I had thought they were just glorified Pussycat Dolls who can't actually sing (which, to be fair, doesn't really distinguish them from the real Pussycat Dolls), but it turns out they are much more than that.

Apparently Lingerie footy is a totally serious sport, and the only reason they wear undies lingerie is that 'society has made it necessary to market things like that.'

And that's when it hit me. Of COURSE! That makes perfect sense! Society has said that sex sells, so the only way to get men to a women's footy game is to put the women in sexy knickers. It's so obvious. I mean, sure, you could refuse to demean youself just because 'that's what society is like'. And sure you could consider that by buying into it, you are creating society, rather than the other way around.

But that's just silly philosophising. And I don't have room in my head for all that kind of stuff. It's man's work.

They are, like, totally right. Sex sells. I mean, just think how much better my books would sell if I sexed it up a bit? I've been going about this all wrong. I've been relying on stupid things like talent and hard work to get me through. I've thought that wit and insight and well constructed sentences would me a readership, when really what I should have been doing all along was donning a g-string and hopping on the panty train.

But it's never too late. For now I have learned. Finally, I have seen the light. From this day forward I shall be writing in nipple tassles and shaking my little toosh on the keyboard.

Lingerie Reading

People, I give you..... the Lingerie Author.
Lingerie Writing

Lingerie Brainstorming


  1. I love watching women sports, my daughter is a professional squash player and squash has been down that road where the girls were wearing tight skimpy outfits to get recognition. It all makes me angry, women like to watch women in sport for their talent and athletic ability so why do they have to try and reach men by making it look sexy ...sex sells ....ahhhgg

  2. Holy cow! That last photo's just so ... wrong. Thanks for the giggle.

  3. I agree with Mrs Catch- the last photo is SO wrong. The typewriter totally should've been gold too.

  4. SOLD! Where do I buy your books? Do they come with a bonus set of nipple tassels?

  5. What's sad is my husband would probably appreciate my creative endeavours so much more if only I adopted this wardrobe!

  6. Like all professional brainstormers, your head looks like it will be up your own arse in a minute if you're not careful there...

  7. Your brainstorming made me snort! Loudly! I can never look at you the same again!

  8. OMFG...I've been doing yoga for 15 years and now I learn you're more supple than me *flicks hair, spins nipple tassels and huffs off*

  9. I have watched it once for five minutes last year and thought it was boring but in their defence the Womens Beach volleyball at the Olympics wear smaller clothing.

  10. By coincidence, I'm reading this blog in my underwear

  11. it wouldn't appeal to me Kerri!x

  12. Kerri, I will totally buy your next book, if you promise to illustrate it like that. I don't care what it's about......

  13. Kerri, I found the last photo ... strangely attractive.

    ME: "Hon, would you go see Lingerie Football?"
    DAVE: (disgusted) "What's the use? It'd be like paying for a handjob."

  14. My 18 year old daughter was sitting beside me while I was reading this hilarious post.She looked over as I viewed the last picture of you and asked me what on earth I was looking at.
    I said "oh thats just the author of the book you gave  me for mothers day"
    I cant describe the look on her face.
    Thankyou for that. xx

  15. I'm guessing your mother has unsubscribed from your blog, then?

  16. I brainstorm at the computer in that position ALL the time, except without the boots, I usually just wear my explorer socks. You. Me. Same.

  17. would love to have seen what else THAT internet image search brought up. i'm living in fear that there are even those photos out there … remind me again why i decided to NOT go into advertising when i qualified as a graphic designer?  xt

  18. Such a professional photoshopping job I'd never guess the pictures weren't really you!!! (Ahem!)

    I haven't read '50 Shades of Grey' but someone said it wasn't particularly well-written - it was all about the sex... so perhaps you do need to throw some racy scenes in to improve sales. Let's talk about sex baby...

  19. Is is bad that I looked at all your sexy pics and thought "shit I wish I had a typewriter like yours"? I am immune to sexy lingerie

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