June 1, 2012

My New Venture

It was alleged today that Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi was paid more than $100 million to sleep with several powerful men (presumably not at once). The world has reacted with shock and horror. She's a prostitute! That beautiful, talented actress is just a whore!

I have also reacted with shock and horror. You can earn $100 million from sex??? Oh. My. GOD. It's a revelation. So far all I've earned from sex is an orgasm or two and a grateful cuddle from my husband at the end of the night. $100 million??? Seriously?

Bring. It. On.

I have nothing against prostitution in either theory or practice. It's a service like any other, there is a market for it, and provided that the service providers are acting out of free will and not coerced by slavery/drugs/pimps etc (which, of course, they so often are), then all power to them.

Still, it's definitely not for me. I mean, if Simon Baker wanted to pay me for sex I'd be all for it (and Simon, if you're reading, my current fee is five cents per day), but I wouldn't want some random, sweaty, hairy man in my bed for a couple of hundred dollars an hour. Ugh.

But that's before I read about Zhang Ziyi. Because it's not a couple of hundred dollars an hour at all. It's a couple of million. And I don't care how sweaty or hairy you are, for a couple of million I'll put up with you. Hell, it's just an hour of my time. And quite frankly, if you're so desperately into me that you're willling to pay a couple of million dollars, I suspect it's going to be a lot less than that.

So men, I am up for sale. Two million dollars a pop.

But Simon, I am all yours. For free.


  1. What perfect timing. My friends and I just went on a 'excursion' of a very well known brothel to learn more about it. Let's just say it was very eye-opening to 25 very suburban mums. We could ask any questions and yes, the girls earn heaps more than we do!!!!! But still they do not charge $2,000,000 a pop.

  2.  Australia, Canadian, New Zealand or US dollars?

  3. LOL... Coincidentally $2 million is what I charge too. 

  4. Actually had this discussion with the playgroup mums... Was surprised (and quietly impressed) by the number  that happily oblige their husbands/partners in exchange for extra bonus shopping $$$... Mmmm thinking I wouldn't mind a little shopping spree myself lol...

  5. And a bargain at that! I hear you are very bendy xx

  6. Please write a book about your new profession Kerri! Possible title : Confessions from a Working Girl's Life??

  7. Yes! I have no objection to prostitution either, and I don't think I could do it personally, but I am 100% in favour of it as an alternative to picking up a random. Why would you spend a stack of money buying someone drinks just to get them drunk, take them home, have them MAYBE sleep with you and then MAYBE give you a disease... or rob you... or any of the other risks.

    Just go pay someone, then there's no charade. (Note: If you are looking for love, that's a different ball game)

  8. You could probably make almost as much just mailing out your used undies to clients. Or I could.

  9. OMG I love this. You are hilarious and that is all so true.
    I strongly suspect, that if I could earn $100 million by having sex my husband would not only encourage me, he would drive me to the other guy's house : )

  10. Kerri, I've started saving. Do I get a Senior's discount ?

  11. $100,000,000??
    One Hundred Million dollars??
    sheesh! I spent 40 years giving it away for free!
    I didn't even use sex to get a few extra budget dollars from the hubby.
    I'd be wary of someone offering me really big bucks for sex though, maybe he'd be into kinky or painful stuff and I really don't want to get hurt or dead. Of course if he could guarantee the outcome, paid upfront and was disease free, then I'd maybe think about it. Maybe.

  12. I have to agree--yes for $2,000,000.  And free for Simon.  Fun post.

  13. Um, sorry. I could buy a Ferrari for that, and I'd be cruisin', from then on  ;P

  14. Hey, I'm in the midst of a rather long drought... I am thinking I might even give it away.... 

  15. Nice one. I'm thinking one weekend's work and I'd never have to work again. Where do I sign up? 

  16. Now Now..Kerri..form an orderly queue for Simon..and No pushing ..lol

  17. You are funny, nice girl Kerry Sackville.  Yes! to Simon Baker. 

  18. Man, the hours upon hours in the classroom to earn that VS an hour in the sack?
    (And probably a little beautician intervention prior.)
    Sorry, kids.
    It's a no-brainer.
    :-) xx


Thanks! Love hearing from you.

Like it? Share it!