August 2, 2010

Better To Never Have Loved

I was in Westfield the other day and I saw a jacket. I wasn’t looking for jackets. In fact, I wasn’t looking for clothes at all. I was looking for birthday presents for my children’s friends, and fruit (the fruit was easier to find). But I walked past my favourite store (and when I say ‘favourite’ I mean ‘the store I wish I could shop at but can’t because it is prohibitively expensive) and made my first mistake.

I walked inside.

Normally, I stand outside this particular shop, look longingly at the clothes – every single one of which is a piece worthy of framing – sigh with deep yearning, and move on. But that day, god help me. I went in.
About 25 things caught my eye. I moved amongst the heavenly garments, stroking here, patting there, sniffing here (okay, so maybe not sniffing, but let me tell you, these clothes are so gorgeous they probably even smell good).

And then I saw it. The jacket to end all jackets.

It was a short grey leather jacket, in the most heavenly, buttery soft leather imaginable. The cut was divine – structured, but feminine, detailed, but subtle. It was perfection.

‘Would you like to try it on?’ asked the sales assistant.

‘No,’ I thought.

‘Okay,’ I heard myself saying, as if from somewhere above myself. The sales assistant helped me into it. And it was amazing. It didn’t just fit, it made me look better than I am: taller, slimmer, smaller of waist. And the leather was so exquisite I felt like I was enveloped in a soft cocoon (okay, so I’m exaggerating just a tad, but it was sooooo beautiful).

And then I looked at the price tag. And nearly choked.

Think of the most you’ve ever spent on an item of clothing. Ever. Then triple it. Then add a little bit more. And that’s how much this jacket was.

Normally in a situation like this, I would just exhale with despair and walk out the shop. But this time, something stopped me. I looked in the mirror. I looked sooooo good. I knew that this jacket would complete my wardrobe. I knew this jacket would complete me. I knew that I’d been working really hard and had some money put away and I could technically afford it (if I didn’t buy anything again for the rest of my life). I had to have it, no matter what the cost.

So I took the jacket off, walked to the counter… and walked out of the store.

I just couldn’t do it. No matter how much I loved it, I couldn’t justify spending that amount of money on a piece of clothing, no matter how absolutely, heartbreakingly perfect it was. I had to let it go, this perfect jacket, this soulmate in the sartorial world.

Still, my heart is broken. Okay, so my heart isn’t really broken. That would be just a little too materialistic.

But is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at al?

I don’t think so.

18 comments:

  1. I am a firm believer of price per wear...and sometimes you just have to close your eyes and hope to God the credit card accepts the transaction.

    I have a problem with shoes.
    They fling themselves at me.
    Screaming not to leave them in the store...
    That I simply MUST take them home with me.
    Who am I to argue with that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think leather jackets are worth spending more since you will have it for ever. Although there is one at my work which is $400. A little pricey for me as I am a student. But definitely a worth-while investment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh geeeez, please go back and get it. The story kills me if you dont get the jacket... it becomes "NEVER finding Nemo", or something equally as tragic...

    And if it was at Bondi Junction, I feel I may have seen that exact jacket on Sunday.

    GO GET IT. PLEASE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is SO weird, but yesterday I was with my mum- visiting us in Broome, as you know- and took her to the pearl galleries on Dampier taerrace. I never look in those places because, you know, one stone can cost $80,000. But mum wanted to go, and while she was browsing, I saw IT. The pearl necklace of my dreams. (Stop it). Serioulsy, I have never dreamt of pearl necklaces before, but this was exquisite- a short strand of beautifully baroque pearls, luminescent in their irregularity. They were funky pearls, if you can imagine such a thing. I imagined them, nestled against my collarbone like a lover, accentuating my skin... I got down on my knees so I could look underneath the glass case and see the price.
    $1400.
    Fourteen hundred!! OK, a lot, but I could afford that. I jumped up and ran to get mum to show her (also possibly hoping she would offer to buy them for me. She's good like that.)
    We asked the salesgirl to take it out. I tried it on, and it was every bit as beautiful as I imagined. Then I turned over the tag to show mum- and it said $14000.
    I am still thinking about that necklace. I have thought about it all night, and how many books I would need to sell to afford it. Technical answer: A shitload. Sigh.

    My only hope is that cash prize and all the endorsements that will be coming our way when we win #chocwar. Then you can get your jacket and I can get my necklace :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've seen how much food you get on your clothes (meatballs & spaghetti can leave nasty stains) so maybe best to invest in a nice, practical raincoat instead. You can just hose off your dinner :-P

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  6. I have got to the point where I don't even look. I can't justify it. Any of it. But I do love a good love story, so let us know if you find a way to make a happy ending (end of season sale???)

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  7. Ah, I feel your pain. I regularly have those moments where I fleetingly imagine how wonderful my life would be like if I had unlimited funds. But even if I did, could I spend so much on a jacket? Mmm, probably!@

    ReplyDelete
  8. As a guitar player of some note, {well none really},I have lusted over some beautiful guitars during my long and unevenful life. I can tell you, some beauties slipped through my fingers. Don't let this happen with the jacket. Run don't walk, or it may have gone to the rich bitch, in the next street......

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  9. You have something that money can't buy- and that's good taste and common sense. Ok, that's 2 things...

    ReplyDelete
  10. OK I commented and then didn't put in the bot code and lost it.

    It was along the lines of I reckon if I pooled all of the my $20 junky clothing purchases, it would be better to buy something worthwhile.

    Go on, go back, you deserve it. Plus you'll only keep thinking about it and how you want to marry it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Since having my darling children I sadly can't seem to walk into any of my 'favourite' stores either, dammit. Just can't bring myself to cough up huge amounts of cash for designer gear anymore...and the reality it's just not practical really.

    I can imagine the price tag on the jacket probably had 4 digits on it (not counting the cents). Let it go, the jacket is like a crush, you'll pine for it a little, but it'll soon be forgotten. And think of how much Lindt dark chocolate you could buy with that sort of money!

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  12. Could you maybe enter into a bartering agreement with the shop? You write their advertising copy and they provide you with leather jackets - because really I don't even want to wear leather but I want that jacket.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Buy it. You're worth it. It's worth it!
    And you'll feel hot everytime you are in it. oooh yeah!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I recently went into a shop and fell in love with a funky, white leather jacket. It looked so Michael Jackson circa 1980's. When i asked how much it was, I too felt my mouth fall open. "It's $40. Everything in the shop is $40" the assistant responded.

    Of course I bought it, but whenever I wear it, I can't help but think 'it's only $40'.

    Funny how we love something more when it costs a king's ransom!

    Miss Lee.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I recently went into a shop and fell in love with a funky, white leather jacket. It looked so Michael Jackson circa 1980's. When i asked how much it was, I too felt my mouth fall open. "It's $40. Everything in the shop is $40" the assistant responded.

    Of course I bought it, but whenever I wear it, I can't help but think 'it's only $40'.

    Funny how we love something more when it costs a king's ransom!

    Miss Lee.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is SO weird, but yesterday I was with my mum- visiting us in Broome, as you know- and took her to the pearl galleries on Dampier taerrace. I never look in those places because, you know, one stone can cost $80,000. But mum wanted to go, and while she was browsing, I saw IT. The pearl necklace of my dreams. (Stop it). Serioulsy, I have never dreamt of pearl necklaces before, but this was exquisite- a short strand of beautifully baroque pearls, luminescent in their irregularity. They were funky pearls, if you can imagine such a thing. I imagined them, nestled against my collarbone like a lover, accentuating my skin... I got down on my knees so I could look underneath the glass case and see the price.
    $1400.
    Fourteen hundred!! OK, a lot, but I could afford that. I jumped up and ran to get mum to show her (also possibly hoping she would offer to buy them for me. She's good like that.)
    We asked the salesgirl to take it out. I tried it on, and it was every bit as beautiful as I imagined. Then I turned over the tag to show mum- and it said $14000.
    I am still thinking about that necklace. I have thought about it all night, and how many books I would need to sell to afford it. Technical answer: A shitload. Sigh.

    My only hope is that cash prize and all the endorsements that will be coming our way when we win #chocwar. Then you can get your jacket and I can get my necklace :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Since having my darling children I sadly can't seem to walk into any of my 'favourite' stores either, dammit. Just can't bring myself to cough up huge amounts of cash for designer gear anymore...and the reality it's just not practical really.

    I can imagine the price tag on the jacket probably had 4 digits on it (not counting the cents). Let it go, the jacket is like a crush, you'll pine for it a little, but it'll soon be forgotten. And think of how much Lindt dark chocolate you could buy with that sort of money!

    ReplyDelete
  18. You have something that money can't buy- and that's good taste and common sense. Ok, that's 2 things...

    ReplyDelete

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