And so, in giving with my Not Being A Hypocrit-ism, I must be prepared to be criticised. I make my living, in part, by writing opinion pieces, and if I am allowed to have my own opinions then other people must be allowed to have their opinions of me.
And here's the thing: not everyone will like what I write. Sometimes I write pieces that get floods of positive feedback, messages and emails and tweets and balloonagrams from the sky. (Okay, not balloonagrams, but we do like balloons here, so if you feel moved to send one, please contact me for my address.) But no matter how well received a piece is, there will always be someone who doesn't agree. No matter how much people love my writing, there will always be someone who thinks I'm shit. And no matter how many people love my work, there will always be someone who cannot stand the very sight of my name. (I must say, I'm included in that last one - I've always thought 'Kerri' was a pretty poor moniker.)
So if someone wants to express their dislike for my work, they should feel free to do so. Not that they need my permission, of course. But I'm giving it anyway (which will probably piss them right off). I genuinely, truly do not care if someone says I am a terrible writer, or that my opinions suck, or that my hair looks really bad now that it's been cut. (Oh GOD, I lie, I do care if you don't like my hair. Do you like my hair? Please tell me you like my hair!)
Obviously if someone is threatening, or brings up my family, or reveals intimate details of my life (it is MY decision when I tell you about my secret marriage to Simon Baker, NOT YOURS) I will come out fighting. But criticism, no matter how rudely expressed or laughably phrased, is absolutely fine.
So when Lana told me about some nasty comments about me on GOMI ("Get Off My Internets") recently, I was amused. We talk about it at length (well, five minutes is a length) in this video below. I also address those rumours about my divorce and my sex life with a female online personality. Exciting stuff indeed. Keep it going, GOMI!!!!!!
I've never been to GOMI. When I learned of its existence years ago, I vowed never to visit. I got my life's quota of snark at high school.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone ever gave enough of a shit to bag me or my writing I'd be shocked- for being noticed! I've been lucky to in the past approx 5 years to date. Never been on anyone's radar. (*tiniest sniff*) ;)
ReplyDeleteI can send you photos!
ReplyDeleteI am only mentioned because of my ex-job
ReplyDeleteMe too! I'm quietly jealous... Ok, maybe not.
ReplyDeleteThat GOMI thread fills me with so much rage. My advice to those lovely bunch of cats is to only write what they'd be happy for their kids to read over their shoulder. Seriously, if my kids carried on like them I'd be freaking mortified. I bet they're the first to tut tut about kids bullying each other online. And yet they are much worse. Magnificent role models.
ReplyDeleteI DO like your hair - one day I might even pluck up the courage to get the chop too ... As for the rest of it, well, what can I say ... Sad, sad people with far too much time on their hands.
ReplyDeleteI love your hair. I want your hair!
ReplyDeleteGOMI is one of the saddest corners of the internet.
ReplyDeleteWtf are you talking about? I've been reading GOMI for years and haven't read any snarking about you, nor have I read any conjecture about your husband or relationships.
ReplyDeleteLana did a 'GOMI' post awhile back, but she's rarely mentioned either.
Odd.
Other speculation included him having left because I 'exposed' him too much. Why would I make this shit up? And there was a lot last week after... well, if you haven't seen it I'm glad you haven't.
ReplyDeleteMuch better things to read than GOMI. Do you really enjoy reading snark about people?
Totally.
ReplyDeleteSure! It's yours!
ReplyDeleteAgree. VERY sad.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what kind of people they are. Like, if I met one in the street would she be pleasant or a raging bitch?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I take it as a huge compliment.
ReplyDeleteWORD xxx
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteso this person referenced YOUR OWN POST, where YOU asked YOUR READERS, to vote if your husband was gay?
ReplyDeleteSo, YOU actually told everyone you spilt and they bought up another post OF YOURS where YOU mention the gay thing.
Have I got that right??
And that is the sum total of your evidence of them being trolls?
I also notice she conveniently leaves out all the comments in support of her, where people were appalled at the treatment both Kerri and Lana got from MF.
ReplyDeleteI guess "trolls" defending you doesn't fit into her narrative.
How very selective reading of her.
I think I say very clearly that I cannot enjoy all the positive feedback from people without accepting the negative too. Of course there's lots of positive feedback. There's a lot of shit about me too. Stuff about my kids' names, about my ex-house, all sorts of things. And I'm a shitty writer. There is more than one person on GOMI. Some defend me. Some hate on me. I don't care! But the general tone of the site is horrible. And if you've been on that site you know it. The things said about bloggers is just disgusting. I haven't copped a lot of it. Doesn't mean I don't feel appalled for the people who have.
ReplyDeleteEr, no. I was showing evidence of people talking about my relationship. Do you call bitchy comments about my kids/house/writing/friends 'trolling'? I don't intend to screen shot every comment. Zero interest. Why are you so upset about it? Do you honestly not think there are trolls on GOMI? Have you seen it? Do you write on it? Do you think it's respectful and nice?
ReplyDeleteI have seen it and yes, some of it is awful, but it is not trolling.
ReplyDeleteTrolling has a whole other definition and for some reason bloggers like to call it trolling when it isn't.
I dont participate there. But tell me, you say they snark on your kids names, and yet, you worked on a site that regularly has posts about bogan names, or the worst kids names of (insert year here)
Or snarking on what someone was wearing, or who they married.
Explain the difference to me.
I don't know what site you're referring to but I have never made fun of people's children's names. But if I did it would be snark. I stopped writing for a particular site because it was so snarky. Snarky = trolling in my book. And if I criticise what someone wears (which I don't, because who the fuck am I to criticise what people wear?) it would be snark/trolling/whatever you like. Just had a very quick look at GOMI. Words like 'wanker', 'shits me to tears', 'made me gag', 'I want to slap her'..... If that's not trolling, I don't know what is. Seriously. Please enlighten me.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the little emojis giving the finger...it's nasty and downright personal. And the tone is horrendous. Much like writing the word YOU in caps repetitively to make a point. Verbal equivalent of poking someone in the chest.
ReplyDeleteYes. Exactly x
ReplyDeleteThey would be sweet as pie to your face. They lack courage otherwise they wouldn't be anonymous...
ReplyDeleteOkay! According to that definition they are not 'trolls'.
ReplyDeleteLet's just call them mean-spirited people who spend their time bitching about other people online and stirring up hate. Are you cool with that?
yep, thats cool. I tend to agree with you about some of it. But I also see sites like MM doing the exact same thing under the false guise of journalism. but thats a whole other debate.
ReplyDeleteThanks for allowing me to put forward my thoughts, I appreciate you giving differing opinions a chance. It takes a big person to do that.
Look, I hate snark under the guise of journalism, wherever it appears. Hate it. And I have made mistakes in the past but try very very hard never to do it myself. Have enjoyed the discussion x
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. After viewing your video on Twitter yesterday, morbid curiosity got the better of me and I thought I should know what GOMI was about for myself. OH MY GOODNESS. The whole vibe of that site is skeezy. If it was a real life place, it would give me the heebie jeebies. I don't know how people can be so devoted to it and bathe themselves in such snark and petty gossip. Ew.
ReplyDeleteI dont comment on blogs very often anymore.I would sometimes get negative comments on my comments from other readers,making me feel deflated because I was being 'nice' ...which apparently is a bad thing.Dont need that in my life.Dont want to read it
ReplyDeleteI dont get it.Why these people prefer negativity.Why they prefer to bring other people down instead of lift them up.
I believe we all have enough hard times in our everyday lives so when we come together on the net we should support one another where we can and not bring each other down.
Words can be so powerful and we have all seen the horrific effects they can have on someone when they have taken negative nasty words to heart and decided the only option was to end it all.And yet the nastiness continues.
I love your writing Kerri because you are open,honest,have a great sense of humour and are always respectful in response to comments.
I know your words have helped many and you deserve to feel so very proud of that.x
But the thing is Jackson you have NO idea what treatment I got from Mia Freedman so why comment on it? I just don't get why you have to pose all this conjecture about me at all - just ask me! I'm very honest
ReplyDeleteI have read the conjecture about Kerri's husband. I find it odd that you think just because you haven;t seen something it doesn't exist. Odd
ReplyDeleteWhat disturbs me is that a lot of the posters on GOMI are other bloggers. It's actually distressing that people who are open to this sort of criticism themselves are ok with dishing it out. They trade in hate and it must poison their soul. I honestly feel really sorry for them. I have SO much more going on in my life, so I don't have the time or inclination to spew bile at people. I'm too busy being AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteI love your hair. Just thought I should put that out there. Don't mind me, I'm just being honest here. It's just the way I am.
ReplyDeleteME TOO!!! xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteYou ARE awesome. Discovered you recently via Lana and I love your work. Love it!
ReplyDeleteI must say that I have had a remarkably good time reading this post, but even more, reading the replies.
ReplyDeleteYears ago when I was writing for national magazines here in the US and in the UK, as you would imagine I got my share of mail (snail mail - it was that long ago) both positive and negative. When I was first hired, my editor (among many things) said to me that negative mail was just as good as positive mail. Some of the comments may be valid and I could learn from it, but either way, at least it meant that people were reading what I wrote - and that was the goal, wasn't it?
Now, I will admit that since this was before social media - heck it was before the internet as we know it - I certainly didn't have as much of my life "out there" to be commented on. I wasn't nearly as accessible as you are (and you are - the fact that I know you here in the US is proof of that) - the only way I could be contacted then was if someone was paying to subscribe to CompuServe (CI$) or via normal snail mail. My negative mail wasn't as personal as yours is ... but then the bottom line is the same ... and there is no such thing as negative publicity. It keeps you in the public eye ... something someone who sells their writing for a living wants.
So don't change a thing ... just keep being Kerri.