April 6, 2015

An Open Letter To The Man Who Likes Older Women

Dear Man Who Likes Older Women,

Thank you so much for approaching me on a dating site. I was touched to hear from you. 

You mention specifically in your profile that you are looking for someone over the age of 45 as you, and I quote, 'LOVE MY OLDER WOMEN'. I am not actually 'your' older woman, but that's really just semantics. I totally get that you want to hook an elderly person such as myself, and I'm honoured that I am considered old enough for you. After all, I really just scrape in there at 46.

You are clear that you 'know how to treat a lady' and will treat your partner 'as a princess'. This sounds very exciting to me as I would love to be treated as a princess. I particularly like the idea of having servants to wait on me and travelling in a private jet. I'm not sure about being on the cover of magazines, but presumably you can get your people to insist upon my privacy, as I used to be just a commoner. Of course, being an older woman I am probably more qualified to be a Queen than a princess, or perhaps even a Queen Mother, but again, these are fine details that we can thrash out later with my ladies-in-waiting.

I'm excited about my date!

I was curious about why you prefer the company of older women, and happily you cover that in your profile. You explain that older ladies are better confidants, better communicators, and better lovers. It is definitely true that I am a better lover than women under the age of 46, though admittedly women 47 and older are, by definition, better than me. 

As for being a better communicator, I think I am indeed very good at talking. To be perfectly honest, I talk more eloquently to intelligent people than to dickheads who approach women on the internet because they're old. But I'm sure I can make an exception for you.

And yes, I am certainly a better confidant than a young woman. Most young women wouldn't listen to you for more than 30 seconds without deleting you. I'm giving you a whole blog post! I know. You can thank me in the palace later. 

All in all I think we will make an excellent couple and I eagerly await our future together.

There's just one small issue.

Man Who Likes Older Women, you state that you are 43 years old. That is only three years younger than me. I am looking for someone way, way younger. Like maybe 24 or 25 at the oldest. They are such great communicators and terrific confidants, and I will treat my younger man like a prince....

Kerri

6 comments:

  1. Yes this chap contacted me as well. I couldn't help but wonder at his obsession with us ancients. At 45 I meet his criteria and being a whopping 2 years older than him, well he's really going to experience the "older lady" if he goes out with me! Except if course he won't. Because I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole

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  2. Bahahahaha! Owned!

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  3. I think I need to sit down with this young man and discuss with him the true meaning of loving an older woman from my personal experience... ;)


    Also - I'm sad you're not looking for men in their 40s... I'm not free at the moment, but if The Rhonnifer runs off with Jamie from Outlander, I was kind of hoping I might have stood a chance... :(

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  4. Great post, Kerri. I laughed, and laughed. If you manage to crack a 24 year old, maybe you'd let me on in your secret......Be gentle with him, btw. ;-)

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  5. Don't Ask LeahApril 20, 2015 at 4:33 PM

    The only thing I love more than this blog post, is the fact that this guy exists.
    Brilliant post, absolutely loved it.

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