September 20, 2014

Are You A Fussy Dresser?

This morning I had nothing to wear. Seriously. Nothing. Annette Sharp would have had a field day if she'd seen me out at Westfield because I looked like a friggin' hobo. I was wearing jeans, old black boots, a baggy, misshapen top over a slightly longer baggy, white top over an even longer hundred-year-old slip thing whose colour can only be described as 'puce'.

I went out in search of winter tops because a) all my winter tops are hideous, and b) I was cold. I have no problem shopping for summer clothes - I love shift dresses and will wear them happily every day for three months - but I hate winter wear. Hate it. I inevitably spend the winter months poorly dressed and freezing cold, because I just can't find clothes I like. It's not that there aren't nice things out there, it's just that they're not for me. I am a fussy dresser (think fussy eater, but with clothes) and the list of things I don't wear runs a mile long.

Orange, Tight, Polo Neck. I Am Hyperventilating

My Will Not Wear List

  1. Heavy winter knits. They scratch and make me too hot.
  2. Shirts. I cannot wear clothes with collars. I hate really structured clothes and the collars make me feel like I'm choking.
  3. Crisp fabrics such as linen. They make my skin crawl.
  4. Cowl necks. They are horrible.
  5. Polo necks. I am way too claustrophobic. I can't even dress my kids in polo necks; seriously, the very idea makes my neck constrict.
  6. Scarves. Probably the claustrophobia thing; also I feel like they're wearing me instead of the other way around.
  7. Polyester. Any man-made fabrics make me sweat.
  8. Anything tight fitting from the hips up. I wear skinny jeans and leggings, but my top half needs to be in loose clothing. It's not a weight thing - I wear bikinis in summer, I have no issue with my body - I just feel hideously uncomfortable in body hugging clothes.
  9. Orange, green, yellow, purple. I wear black, white, neutrals, navy, pink and silver. That's it. Other colours are for Wiggles or Teletubbies.
  10. Applique, beading, lace, leather patches. Just.... no.
  11. Belts. I would rather wear a bandage around my waist.
  12. Anything 'tricky' or hard to wear. If the sales assistant has to teach me how to wear it, or it can be worn in several different ways, or it needs to be draped, or belted, or tucked, or anything other than 'slipped over the head' I am out.
  13. Anything too voluminous. I like loose fitting, but not enormous.
  14. Anything too long. I am about two foot tall. If I wear long coats or skirts I look like one of the Olsen twins.
  15. Baggy pants. They make me look like an Oompa Loompa.
  16. Anything that needs dry cleaning or ironing. Because BusyWorkingMum.

So it is a little limiting. Today, however, I did well. I found a plain black fine knit top, and loved it so much I bought it in cream as well. (Okay, so my mum paid for the cream one. THANK YOU MUM.) I will wear one of them every day and feel well dressed until summer. And then next winter will roll around, and I'll have absolutely nothing to wear again.....

What about you? Are you a fussy dresser?


  1. I also cannot wear clothes with collars...

    Hate ALL man-made fabrics... I only wear cotton...


  2. I am the WORST fussy dresser. My wardrobe is 90% black, 8% grey, and 2% blue or red. I can't wear open-toed shoes, because I need stockings or socks otherwise my feet stick to my shoes and it HURTS. I refuse to wear stockings with open-toed shoes, because I have some vague semblence of self respect. Dresses don't do it for me, so I have about 40billion tshirts. But a shirt has to be the right length - too short and it gets pulled up into a midriff by my boobs, too long and it hangs like a tent *off* my boobs.

  3. Oh GOD no, you can't wear stockings with open toed shoes!!! Yes, you sound like me, except that I can't wear red. Forgot to add that in. Can't even wear red lippy. And I love tshirts too, and YES they have to be the right length. (Except I don't have much boobage....) x

  4. Funny, I have always imagined you to be the non-collar type. Also I see you more as 'hemp' than 'cotton'.....:-)

  5. Kerri - I am NOT one of your hippy friends...! ;)

    But it's true - I don't even own a tie - no point without collared shirts...

  6. I am yet to find a red lipstick that doesn't make me look like a clown. I'm pale as fuck, with a big mouth and fat lips. There is no red lipstick on earth that would suit me. :(

  7. Oh Kerri - you need to experience the JOY of a roll neck jumper in winter (and a roll neck one at that - although not too tight, and not too baggy, and definitely not synthetic, and one that doesn't pill, and only white or cream at certain times as I am sure to spill something on it - yes, the right ones are hard to find). I live in mine - I also live in Melbourne, so as well, I live in a coat, a warm top under my jumper, warm jeans, woollen pants or even cords for extra warmth, boots, sometimes a scarf and a hat too. Because of that, I have to branch out into different colours - not too lairy, but not just black and grey. Everything gets too morose otherwise.

    Thinking about it - I am glad summer is not too far away ...

  8. Whenever I find a style of clothing I love, I buy it in every colour. That way I don't have to keep shopping.

  9. Hilarious, but also sadly true for me too. Except I can't wear trousers or closed shoes. I live in blingy sandals (glam thongs) pretty much all year round (even during minus 7 temps where I live in Winter). Socks & tights are no go zones & I pretty much love a dress & a cardy all year round. I despise shopping - for clothes. Which is probably why I'm a shocker for loving homewares, bags & bangles.

  10. I have a love/ hate relationship with clothes and shopping for them. This year I wanted to wear more dresses/ skirts but it hasn't really worked out that well. It depends on the season and the mood that I am in. At weekends I would quite happily live in a track suit but it isn't always suitable. I have days during the week where I lament what to wear. I have a large collection of winter scarves and I love them. I find it hard shopping for jeans.

  11. Funny. I find jeans easy - it's the rest that's hard!

  12. Am with you about the bags. Not so much open toed shoes! Don't you get FREEZING????

  13. No. Can NOT do roll neck jumper. Just CAN'T!!!

  14. I'm SO fussy when it comes to winter clothes that I adapt as much of my summer wardrobe as possible. All those short, shift dresses that I love get worn over thick tights or leggings with boots and cardigans (I'm absolutely with you on the jumper/constricting thing!). I don't mind clingy too much but I can't cope with anything hugging my neck or long tight sleeves, I just can't breath in them.


Thanks! Love hearing from you.

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