February 27, 2014

Keep Away From The Internet When Cranky (Or Not)

Normally I subscribe to the 'Keep Away From The Internet When Cranky' rule. Okay, there have been some notable exceptions (during which I have got involved in ridiculous arguments with anonymous morons on Twitter), but for the most part I stick to my guns. Nothing good can come of posting when you're shitty. Your defenses are down, your emotions are heightened, and it is very, very easy to say things you will later regret.

Well, today I am hideously cranky, and I am throwing caution to the wind. I am on my third day of tonsillitis/ear infection, and am OVER IT with a capital everything. I am taking anti-biotics for my disease, pro-biotics for the anti-biotics, and Roses Chocolates for the depression that descended late last night after two days in bed.

On top of it all, I am pre-menstrual, which would be wonderful if I planned to have any more children and needed my stupid ovaries, but I don't, so perhaps they could just dry the hell up already? (And yes, for all those menopausal women out there, I'm aware menopause is no walk in the park either, but I'm cranky, so just ignore me and trust that when my time comes I'm sure I'll be complaining about that, too.)

So what else? Well, my inbox keeps filling up at the most ridiculous rate. No sooner do I delete all the junk and see to all the vital correspondence than I have another 30 emails waiting for me. About 10% are important, another 20% are important if you want to read about minute changes to the school canteen menu and what the kindergarten kids did at Assembly today (and seeing as my kids are in years one, seven and nine quite frankly I don't, not even slightly), and the other 70% are rubbish. I get emails about penis enlargements (and I don't have a penis - the still functioning ovaries would be a testament to that), vampire facials (because who the hell wouldn't want to take blood out of themselves just to inject it back in again), offers of large amounts of money in exchange for my bank account details (which I'm sure are, like, totally valid, but who has the time to write back?), and requests to link with people on LinkedIn for no reason whatsoever because LinkedIn has never done anything for me but generate emails (having said that, all requests will be accepted, because if I'm going to be on LinkedIn, I'd rather have heaps and heaps of connections than none).

Also I have bills to pay, laundry to do, a book to write, fleas to kill (yes, the cat has fleas and has spread them all over the house and the kids keep complaining [which seems completely unreasonable, I mean, when I was their age I walked to school barefeet in the snow....]), dinner to prepare, paperwork to fill out.... and I should probably also shower at some stage, too.

So that's it. I'm cranky. And if you're cranky too, now is your time to share it. I am declaring this Day of the Crankypants, and all cranky submissions will be accepted.

And if you're not cranky, well, you can comment too, but don't expect sympathy. And YES. I know you won't need sympathy if you're not actually cranky. You don't have to point it out! Bloody hell. Everyone's giving me a hard time today....

35 comments:

  1. 26 Years & CountingFebruary 27, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    Sometimes you just need to be cranky. I have a stomach bug & stabbing headache but it's my second last day of a contract & I don't yet have a job to go to so I'm sucking it up & working hard. Clearly, since I'm commenting on the Internet...

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  2. I wish I could share in your cranky-pants... but I find it really hard to get cranky anymore - don't know why... maybe I've run out of cranky...


    I'm kind of sleepy today... sleepy and blissful... had a really nice toasted sandwich for breakfast... that was nice...


    I started my novel-writing course this week... met some new people, which is a little difficult for me, being such an introvert, but they seemed nice too. I've been reading some of their writing - that's been interesting... seems like there are some really talented up-and-coming writers in the group... that's nice...


    Oh, have I mentioned how well I've been sleeping lately - well, for ages... that's nice..


    And I think the weather in Sydney this summer has been really lovely - warm without being too hot or humid... mostly sunny, but just enough rain to keep the garden green... that's nice...


    So, umm... no cranky here... sorry... I wish I could find some - it would be lovely to have some cranky to share with you... it would have been nice...

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  3. I am a bit like JJ - I have run out of cranky. What even is wrong with me?!


    that said - the guy in front of me at the coffee shop this morning who took over 5 minutes to complete a 1 minute transaction ... I'm not cranky at you, but you're on 'The List'

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  4. Yeah - it's weird - how do you run out of cranky? I have no idea - but I have!


    Maybe it's a virus?

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  5. I'm cranky. Sat down at my PC to pay bills, it wouldn't boot up properly. Tried rebooting, jiggling cables, swearing at it, nothing worked. No worries (well, not too much), I've got a Mac, too, but it too would not boot properly! More rebooting, jiggling, swearing, all to no avail. Call Apple support, they run through the bleeding obvious: Have you rebooted? Jiggled cables? Swore at the computer? Well, actually, they didn't the last question, but rather, Have you tried another monitor? Erm ... it so happens that I do have a 2nd monitor and when I connected the Mac to it, it booted and displayed properly ... erm, as did the PC! So yes, I am cranky, at technology, but most of all, cranky at myself for wasting a morning rebooting, jiggling cables and swearing! Now, to pay those bills ...

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  6. I am cranky for reasons that would get me in trouble if I shared them. But let's just say I am accessorising your cranky pants with my stompy shoes.

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  7. Cranky at the mental health system, which seems to think that 10 psych sessions a year is enough for someone with a totally fucked up head. Hope you get better quickly.

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  8. I'm cranky as I'm sick to death of having headaches and migraines. Tests up the wazhoo but no definitive answer. Been house sitting while friends are away and had the best opportunity to get stuck into making and creating and not having to worry about the mess, for a little while at least. So as I have a market stall to prepare for on the weekend what have I done most of this week. Been stuck down with migraines thus not allowing me to actually get any creating done. Oh and am also premenstrual and have been thinking the same thing, pain in the arse useless equipment that is no longer needed, why are you still annoying me.

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  9. Detachable PrincessFebruary 27, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    I have nothing to offer, except to say that Brumby's bakery now has a Nutella-filled hot cross bun. http://www.brumbys.com.au/easter

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  10. I'd love to be able to say that menopause is worth the wait, but that'll just up my cranky. Headaches (day 3), insomnia (year .... forever, with a fu head & the meds don't help), hot sweats 24/7, add to that the dishes to put away, laundry to the roof, creating to do... Yep, give me some lemons so I can throw them at something.
    ANd JJ - you can just bite all of us!! :)

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  11. I'm cranky too. Money sucks, I need to work out how to get more, I've just found out I need to move, I have just started coming down with the cold/something a mere 5 weeks after recovering from glandular fever, I have no sick days accumulated as I'm newish, and I can't console my depression with chocolate because I'm trying this stupid fucking idea called dieting.

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  12. Crankypants Crasher SMCFebruary 27, 2014 at 7:01 PM

    How do you write an entire Crankypants post without ONCE dropping the F bomb??? Are you SURE it's Cranky? Because Cranky ALWAYS goes hand-in-hand with Fuck. No, really - tell me your secret!
    I just emerged from Crankyville a few days ago. I was there thanks to my fifth shoulder dislocation, which would have been run-of-the-mill, except I did it getting out of the shower and had to call my ex-husband to take me to the ER - which means he had to dress me and see me naked for the 1st time since leaving him two years ago. UGH!! THEN, as we got home from the hospital with me all slinged up Mr 6 started throwing up. Three hours later (11pm), Miss 7.5 threw up in her bed, all over the duvet, blankets, carpet, into the lounge... Tell me how I'm supposed to clean all that up with one arm??? The 3 of us ended up in my bed - which now also needs a person space for my arm on a pillow. Next 5 days were a nightmare running from one gastro case to the other - WITH ONE ARM!! They got better, I had one day reprieve to catch up on 4 days work ... and then I went down.
    What's worse than cleaning up after two child gastro cases? Not making it to the bathroom on time and having to clean yourself up, rinse out clothes and shower - yes, WITH ONE FUCKING ARM (see how it's done - the F bomb inclusion?).
    Feeling any better? It's not that I don't feel sorry for you, I'm just trying the proverbial reverse psychology Crankypants Slap. Get better chop chop, and we can all celebrate en masse by burning Crankyville down. Except JJ is not invited to the party

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  13. That's OK - all you cranky people can have a party - I'll be over in the magical forest riding my unicorn! :)

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  14. Crankypants Crasher SMCFebruary 27, 2014 at 7:05 PM

    You KNOW we are just jealous, right? Because usually I'm riding alongside on my own glitzed-up mono-horn. Thanks for being so ... nice ;)

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  15. So many people want me to bite them... I feel like I'm in Twilight! :)

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  16. While I am not cranky now I get cranky alot.

    I work with people who are about as sensible as a sugered up 3yo. I do all the day to day admin stuff appointmenty crap for home. I have a Souths supporting 3yo whom Im sure was sent from whatever diety is out there to test my patience. A 10yo who thinks he's 18 and a husband who as much as I love him I could punch him in the face. A mother in law who makes the mum from Everyone Loves Raymond look like Mrs Brady. My husbands ex Mother in Law who is Tom Cruise stuffed in Goldie Hawns body. My bipolar is playing up like an asshole at the moment and all I want to do is drink coffee, go to the gym and read a magazine.

    Im not cranky today. I drank the largest coffee in Newcastle and read a magazine.

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  17. Tell me! I won't get you in trouble. PROMISE. (That 'DM' function on Twitter is very handy....) x

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  18. Yeah, I know that rule. SUCKS. Sorry love x

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  19. That's awful. Are your headaches connected to your cycle? Mine always get back when i'm pre-menstrual. Good luck. Migraines are the WORST xxxxxxxxxx

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  20. Honey! You've certainly got a lot of crap! I'm sorry. And I had glandular - its terrible. Your cold is probably because your immune system is still compromised (not that I'm a doctor!! I just remember....) Be KIND to yourself x

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  21. Okay that is FUCKED. You poor, poor thing. I fucking feel for you. And JJ is NOT FUCKING INVITED TO OUR PITY PARTY!!!!!!! xxx

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  22. Coffee and magazine good! You go girl!!!!

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  23. Crankypants Crasher SMCFebruary 27, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    Oh FFS, thanks be to the Profanity Gods - Kerri is BACK! You did good, woman, you did good (I would burst into Annie "Sun-will-come-out-tomorrow" song, but that would be disrespectful to Day of the Crankypants)

    Now, as we were...

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  24. Ha. It's just life, nothing out of the ordinary. But being sick I have little patience and therefore everything is a DISASTER. DISASTER I TELL YOU.

    You totes could be a doctor, though. Such good advice. I probably got a cold because I work with kids and old people and they're festering germ pools of contagious bacteria.

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  25. I'll bring coffee and magazines to the party and cake. Cake is good.

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  26. Wait, back up there a minute. Vampire facials??????

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  27. Jackie K @ Working Through ItFebruary 27, 2014 at 11:20 PM

    I am cranky too on account of fleas. Our dog got them months ago and we can't get rid of them. I bombed the house (not actual bombs, but tempted) and we changed flea treatment and we deep-vacuumed the carpets and hot-washed all bed-clothes, and I thought they had gone. But the kids are still complaining about seeing occasional fleas and being itchy. So gross. I never see them except this morning at work when I suddenly noticed one hopping on my desk, which means I obviously brought it in with me, unless someone else at the office also has fleas at home. Gross! Cranky.

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  28. I read somewhere that Buddhists believe that when life gangs up on you, it's to keep your conscious mind completely engaged and distracted. This, then allows the peace and space for something completely wonderful to come into your life. Hope whatever it is, is heading your way today!

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  29. Yes and no.That is why I had a Mirena put in and I'm still getting PMS. Giving it another few months to work it self out, and if it doesn't next option is all the unnecessary bits are coming out for good. Hope you're feeling a bit better today Kerri. xx

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  30. I've been without my desktop for 16 days. Picked it up from the shop and after I got it home, it crashed with a BSOD. Oh yeah, was I thrilled ! Having to reload all my old programs from scratch. Am I cranky, fuck yes !...........:-(

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