Happy 18th Birthday Jimmy! it might read, or
Congrats on your wedding, Tammy Sue & Frederico! (okay, so perhaps not those exact names), or
50 days without Crack Cocaine! WAY TO GO Norm! (No. I have not actually seen that particular sign, but you get the idea.)
Usually the signs are fairly simply. Jimmy is 18. Tammy Sue and Fred are getting married. Norm is sober. Nothing mysterious.
But this time, the sign really caught our imagination.
MEECES 2 PIECES
For some reason, the kids and I were absolutely fascinated. Who was Billygoat Lolgans? we wondered. Where had he been? And why were his loved ones misspelling 'misses'?
Every time we drove up or down that road (which was several times, because it leads to practically everywhere), we passed the sign. And every time, we read it out. By the end of our two week stay on the coast, we were chanting it together, with a Peter Sellers-type accent.
"Welcome Home BEEELIE GOAT LOLGANS!" we sang. "Meeeeeeeces to peeeeeeeces!"
We speculated endlessly on the source of the name. Surely no-one was actually called 'Billygoat', so presumably the 'goat' was a nickname for a dude called Billy. And was Billy originally Bill or was it William? As for his surname... well... Logans made sense, but Lolgans was far less common. Was Billy really William Lolgans, or was he William Logans, a bloke so funny that his mates had inserted an LOL into his name?
We became obsessed. We needed to know who Billygoat was. We needed to know where he had been and where he was going. We needed to know about his goat and his friends.
A search of the White Pages proved fruitless. No Logans. No Lolgans. And no billygoats.
So I turn to you, my internet friends.
Can you help me solve the mystery?
Does anyone know who Billygoat is? Do you know who meeced him to pieces??? Was it you? Was it someone you know? Do you have a goat? Is his name Frederico?
WHO IS BILLYGOAT LOLGANS?