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See these? These are PANTS. |
- Canary yellow cars. Canary yellow doesn't look good on anything, even if it has wheels.
- The word 'pant'. There is no such thing as a 'pant'. They are called 'pants'. Even one-legged people wear 'pants', albeit with one of the legs pinned up.
- Tripe. This should be self-explanatory.
- People who don't wear deodorant, unless they have had their sweat glands removed. Oh they should be allowed to exist, they just shouldn't be allowed out in public.
- School lunches. Canteens should be free. Or kids should all go home for lunch. Just not to my house. I hate making lunches.
- Bacon flavoured chocolate. See number 3.
- Politicians. The country should be run by nice people who can get along. Like (insert name of people who can get along. I can't think of any right now).
- The 40 hour work week. I get tired by Monday lunchtime.
- Taxes. I don't have an alternative solution, but the nice people who can get along will come up with something.
- Licence and passport photographs. We should be allowed to upload our own pics from Instagram. Using several filters. And full makeup.
- Celebrities. They're all weird. Only normal people should be famous. Like me!
- After school activities. Kids should be taught ballet, judo, soccer, swimming and piano at school. Or not at all. See point 8. I'm tired.
- The word 'journey' used as a metaphor. Unless you've travelled from one place to the other via car, train, plane, bus or feet, you haven't been on a journey. It's called 'life'.
- White chocolate. White chocolate is not real chocolate! Call it what it really is. Confectionary.
- On-hold music. Either pipe through the radio, or, preferably, answer the bloody phone.
Anything to add?