July 3, 2013

Things That Should Be Banned

See these? These are PANTS.
  1. Canary yellow cars. Canary yellow doesn't look good on anything, even if it has wheels.
  2. The word 'pant'. There is no such thing as a 'pant'. They are called 'pants'. Even one-legged people wear 'pants', albeit with one of the legs pinned up.
  3. Tripe. This should be self-explanatory.
  4. People who don't wear deodorant, unless they have had their sweat glands removed. Oh they should be allowed to exist, they just shouldn't be allowed out in public.
  5. School lunches. Canteens should be free. Or kids should all go home for lunch. Just not to my house. I hate making lunches.
  6. Bacon flavoured chocolate. See number 3.
  7. Politicians. The country should be run by nice people who can get along. Like (insert name of people who can get along. I can't think of any right now).
  8. The 40 hour work week. I get tired by Monday lunchtime.
  9. Taxes. I don't have an alternative solution, but the nice people who can get along will come up with something.
  10. Licence and passport photographs. We should be allowed to upload our own pics from Instagram. Using several filters. And full makeup.
  11. Celebrities. They're all weird. Only normal people should be famous. Like me!
  12. After school activities. Kids should be taught ballet, judo, soccer, swimming and piano at school. Or not at all. See point 8. I'm tired.
  13. The word 'journey' used as a metaphor. Unless you've travelled from one place to the other via car, train, plane, bus or feet, you haven't been on a journey. It's called 'life'.
  14. White chocolate. White chocolate is not real chocolate! Call it what it really is. Confectionary.
  15. On-hold music. Either pipe through the radio, or, preferably, answer the bloody phone.

Anything to add?

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