January 29, 2013

What IS It With Men & Hair?

The other day I got my hair cut. It's not a big deal. I didn't get a buzz cut, or a mohawk, or - god forbid - a mullet. I got a fairly standard, chin length, concave bob; you know, shorter in the back, slightly longer in the front. My hair is curly so it bounces up. But it's not that short, and it wasn't that drastic a cut, and at the end of the day it's just hair.

So why did my husband freak out so much?

Okay, he didn't exactly 'freak out'. He didn't cry or throw things or rent his clothes or tear his hair or run of the house screaming 'WHY, KERRI? WHYYYYYYYYY?'

If my husband had his way.....

But he did look horrified.

"I hate it," he said to me. "I hate it!"

I shrugged. "I really like it," I told him. "And there's nothing I can do now, anyway."

"Grow it!" he pleaded, despairingly. "I want you to grow it back! Now!"

My husband is 46 years old and has a masters degree. I hadn't anticipated his faulty grasp of the laws of biology and physics, but it's always interesting to learn new things about your partner.

"You do know hair doesn't grow six inches overnight?" I asked him.

"I can't look at you," he cried. "I'm not going to look at you till it grows back!"

"Okay!" I said. I poked him in the chest. He looked at me. I giggled.

Since getting my hair cut I've discovered that many men seem overly invested in their partner's tresses. They become distressed or unsettled if she cuts her hair significantly, with the level of upset proportionate to the number of inches trimmed. It's like a Rapunzel complex, only without the eternal youth, and I have to wonder what it's all about.

Perhaps men subconsciously link their own masculinity to the length of their partner's locks. Or perhaps some primal instant links long hair with fertility and the ability to skin and cook a woolly mammoth. Or perhaps they just like to see hair on the pillow that's not theirs. I DON'T KNOW.

All I know is that I love my new hair. And my husband seems to be getting used to it. Or at least, he's stopped talking about how little hair I have. Which is good. Very good. Because once we're on that topic, let me just say....

36 comments:

  1. Pic! Pic!

    I would love to have short hair, but unfortunately it becomes a frizz-ball of 'did you just stick your finger in an electrical socket?' proportions. So it stays long and gets tied up. Every. Single. Day.
    My hubby would freak if I cut it short, too. If you do happen to find out what that's all about, let me know!

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  2. I would love it if my husband actually noticed if I'd been to the hairdressers. :)

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  3. Oh my god my hubby is the same. I have curly hair too - but even when I straighten it he "just prefers it long".

    Never mind long hair = time, neck problems and always wearing it up in a bun! Gah!

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  4. My husband has had to put up with me having my hair long, short and everything in between over the years because if he can grow a repulsive moustache or god forbid a beard or goatee on occasion, which I hate, then he can put up with however I want my hair.

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  5. Me announcing 'I am having a haircut tomorrow' is an instant cue for my husband to turn white and ask in a strangled voice 'what are you having done?'

    You would think his reaction is indicative that every time I go to the hairdresser I do something wild and crazy ... when in actual fact I get about an inch taken off and the greys coloured!!


    I too would love to know what the primal fear about hair is!

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  6. I once actually went from really long hair to really short and Mr Woog did not notice.


    At least The Architect cares! xxx

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  7. Kerri, long hair is sexy. Besides, it makes you look younger. I mean, I thought you were about 30, when we met.......:-)

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  8. I kinda agree with men on this... sorry. Shorter hair is ageing on women who are over a certain age - it's a dirty little secret that people politely don't discuss, but just ask anyone in the aesthetics or entertainment industry. What I see happening with all my girlfriends is this: they have longer hair and they look fab and youthful. The they turn 40 or 45 or whatever, and they suddenly they think they need to get their hair cut, and WHAM! they look older! Much older!

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  9. I have super short hair that my husband (known in blogland as 'Love Chunks') really likes. He calls it 'low maintenance hair' and it's hard not to agree with him.... then again he has absolutely none of his own left, so any hair is good hair.

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  10. I posted a pic on Twitter/FB yesterday! And mine is totally frizz if I don't put 'product' in it. But at least this way I have to spend less on product... less hair and everything.... x

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  11. Perhaps if I had a magnificent bosom like you The Architect wouldn't be looking so carefully at my hair...

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  12. I actually suspect that while this is a 'thing' for some people, it might not be a 'men' issue.

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  13. EXACTLY!!!! Long hair is hard work! They don't understand!!!

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  14. My husband says I look too 'mumsy' when I have shorter hair...and even then I am only talking about having it cut to my shoulders! He definitely has a long hair fetish!

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  15. I just got my girls hair cut in a nice bob, it suits them (3 and 7 years old) and now their hair is all one length instead of half grown out fringe, dried out ends with all the swimming this summer and fighting to brush their hair every day and night.



    hubby HATES their hair now. His comment when I asked if he likes it "as long as they like it". I just don't get it. I had my haircut too, got rid of my heavy bob with a blunt fringe that was driving me nuts in this heat and got a funky short do. He hates that too.


    go figure.

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  16. Based on my research subject, I think it is fear of an apparently aging wife. I can't talk though. He once shaved his holiday overgrowth into a mo and looked like such a bucket of slime, I refused to look at him til he finished the job. Kinda lost the high moral ground on that issue.

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  17. Husband has almost no hair and shaves his head at least every 2nd day (I love that look). I have very short hair, and he's always encouraging me to go shorter. Go figure!

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  18. I shaved all bar my fringe the other day because I was over my over dyed etc hair.. And hubby flipped because he thinks my hair is my best feature.. Which I almost agree with.. Personally I rate it 4th best.. It took hours to make him see how great it will look healthy long and dye free in 6 months+ time..

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  19. I have a theory that it is something like a one step removed 'Samson' complex - ie. if my wife's hair is short, I clearly don't have any power to pull attractive women (ie. look what my wife looks like) - particularly applicable for men with their own hair thinning / balding. Seems also to extend, in our case, to my daughter - despite the fact that she has inherited my fine, easily knotted hair - tears every day, but we cannot consider the option to cut it!

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  20. Long hair is NOT hard work - compared with short hair. When I had shorter hair I spent so much time styling it I nearly went mad. Long hair = ponytail and simplicity. Bad hair day with long hair? just tie it up or put it up in a bun. Whereas short hair needs to be styled and needs product, and can't be simply put into a ponytail.

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  21. Corenne Tavares aka @SexyMomGPJanuary 31, 2013 at 12:18 AM

    My husband is exactly the same! Every 3 years or so over our nearly 18 years together my hair reaches near waist length. I'm almost there again now. Then one day i make an appointment and chop. I have donated my hair several times for cancer assoc to make wigs. And I don't bother just going shorter, i go drastic to really short and spikey! Hubby hates it! He'd rather put up with my hair everywhere, getting whipped with it if i turn too quickly, suffocated in his sleep if he tries to cuddle all while i have killer biceps from brushing it and neck pain from trying to keep my head up. Joy. He actually goes to my hair appointments with me because he knows the chops eminent ... Men!!! Lol and of course he shaves bald!

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  22. I asked my husband about this one (I have always had long hair which I now wear up because I'm getting (am) older) and he said it's because a haircut usually changes a woman's look and face and it's like finding yourself with a different woman when it's the old one you want! So in fact it's probably very positive that the architect reacted as he did! He reminded me about going to a restaurant recently where we know the owners. She had changed her hair and it was really odd. It was almost as if we didn't know her any more!

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  23. Ha! Yes, my husband likes to frighten me with goatees which make him look like a deranged serial killer. So I hear ya...

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  24. Okay, so there may be a flaw in my 'all men feel this way' theory...

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  25. YES! I think you're right. And it often extends to the kids. My husband doesn't like my daughters' hair to be short either!

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  26. I think it's SO fantastic you donate your hair. BRILLIANT. Don't listen to the baldie! x

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  27. Yeah, I think you're onto something. And my son definitely didn't like Mum looking 'different'. But then, I don't like him growing up!

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