The Best Post Ever Written

Dear Valued Reader,

Today I wrote the best post ever written. It was really quite extraordinarily good. Generally I try to be humble, but it would be false modesty to say that my post wasn't the absolute most fabulous thing I've ever written, and certainly the best thing you would ever have read.

The thing is, though..... it's gone.

I don't know where it is. I wrote it on my iPad because my daughter was using my computer to play stupid fucking Minecraft games which enable her to interact with other children via the internet. Games I wish didn't exist am fully supportive of. So then today I emailed the file to myself, opened it on my computer, worked on it, finished it, admired it, marvelled at its brilliance, saved it and closed it, to cut and paste it to this very blog after a celebratory glass of chardy cup of tea.

When I returned slightly tipsy refreshed, the file was gone.

This cute baby has nothing to do with this post. But WHO CARES??? THE POST IS GONE!!!!!!!

I looked everywhere, in every file, in every folder, in every whatever-you-call-things-on-the-computer-in-which-other-things-are-kept. I wept like a baby maintained my cool and kept looking. I screamed at the fucking piece of shit computer asked politely for advice from Twitter and nothing worked. I lay on the floor and howled calmly accepted the fact that the file was lost forever and sat down to write this post.

So please, when you're reading this, know. My lost file was the greatest post ever. It would have dazzled you and made you weep and made you fall on the floor laughing and who the hell cares nothing matters anymore my file is gone gone gone and nothing has no meaning and this is all futile and WHY IS MY CHARDONNAY EMPTY????

Thank you for your time.

Your blogger,

Kerri