July 31, 2012

The Best Post Ever Written

Dear Valued Reader,

Today I wrote the best post ever written. It was really quite extraordinarily good. Generally I try to be humble, but it would be false modesty to say that my post wasn't the absolute most fabulous thing I've ever written, and certainly the best thing you would ever have read.

The thing is, though..... it's gone.

I don't know where it is. I wrote it on my iPad because my daughter was using my computer to play stupid fucking Minecraft games which enable her to interact with other children via the internet. Games I wish didn't exist am fully supportive of. So then today I emailed the file to myself, opened it on my computer, worked on it, finished it, admired it, marvelled at its brilliance, saved it and closed it, to cut and paste it to this very blog after a celebratory glass of chardy cup of tea.

When I returned slightly tipsy refreshed, the file was gone.

This cute baby has nothing to do with this post. But WHO CARES??? THE POST IS GONE!!!!!!!
I looked everywhere, in every file, in every folder, in every whatever-you-call-things-on-the-computer-in-which-other-things-are-kept. I wept like a baby maintained my cool and kept looking. I screamed at the fucking piece of shit computer asked politely for advice from Twitter and nothing worked. I lay on the floor and howled calmly accepted the fact that the file was lost forever and sat down to write this post.

So please, when you're reading this, know. My lost file was the greatest post ever. It would have dazzled you and made you weep and made you fall on the floor laughing and who the hell cares nothing matters anymore my file is gone gone gone and nothing has no meaning and this is all futile and WHY IS MY CHARDONNAY EMPTY????

Thank you for your time.

Your blogger,

Kerri

27 comments:

  1. Great post Kerry! Sorry to hear about your missing file ;)

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  2. Great post Kerry! Sorry to hear about your missing file ;)

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    1. So good that I leave twice the same comment, haha! :) Oopsy!

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  3. I know where your post is... Open the pre-edited file from your inbox again, and go to Save As - take note of the folder location the default opens up to.

    Your file will be in that folder, its a default temp files folder that all email documents automatically save into if you don't reselect a location to save something when you've opened it and worked on it direct from your email. :)

    Good Luck, and keep up the great posts!

    Kristi

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  4. Probably just as well it disappeared, Kerri. I can't KEEP making witty hilarious comments, all the time...... :-D

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  5. You are wrong Kerri. You didn't lose the best post ever, because I just read it. And laughed - a lot. Hilarious and brilliant.

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  6. HI.LAR.I.OUS Kerri! For me...but somehow not for you. I'm missing the best post I've ever read already. Thanks for making my day. Amy x

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  7. love it, i had a great laugh out loud moment this morning, thanks!!!! who cares about the other post, this one was super

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  8. Just like the time I went fishing and hooked the biggest fish I'd ever seen ... but it got away before I landed it :)

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  9. I knew there was a reason I was so antiquated and write things the old fashioned way, on paper. With a pen. Because I can't afford an ipad. Sigh.
    Sorry for your loss.

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  10. I feel your pain. Can that possibly be a real baby?

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  11. a) that baby is not cute, it's freaky
    b) it's not in your deleted email files in it's pre-edited state?

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  12. Once again lovely lady you dont fail to dazzle me with your brilliance and have me on the floor laughing about your greatest post ever.
    But then again I feel guilty about this laughter.mmm
    I really should be giving you my sympathy for your terrible loss.So sorry.Hope you recover soon.
    Will have a chardonnay for you :)

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  13. Where'd my comment go? Hope you didn't moderate me just because I said:
    Really, Kerri, the one that got away was THAT big?? I believe you... hundreds wouldn't. ;)

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  14. Kerri, ALL your posts are great and dazzles us and makes us weep and make us fall on the floor laughing!!!!! lol

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  15. Please PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER because I am coming to see you in an hour! PS I am sure the post was fabulous ;-) x

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  16. Am sure it was brilliant. Pulitzer Prize-winning... if there was a section for blog posts

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  17. What? Not in your sent mailbox on your ipad or in your inbox on the computer? You need a new ipad, new computer & more loads wine...

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  18. What_Sarah_Did_NextJanuary 13, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    Oh Kerri, how devastating! Perhaps your brilliant and information retentive mind will allow you to write it again later??? *crickets chirp*


    Oh well. Tough break. Good luck at Hornsby though - I would have come but I have to take my son to karate, sorry!

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  19. Gutted for you and gutted for me missing out on the best post ever. Just gutted

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  20. If you e-mailed the file to yourself is still may be in your web e-mail inbox depending on if you set your mail program to delete your e-mails as you download them.

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  21. Wow, that's a really cute picture !

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  22. oh dear, did you at least try using some sort of data recovery software?

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  23. Ooh, sucks to be you right now! Maybe after a few more chardy's the fabulousness will return and you could recreate the lost post? But its not stored in a cloud somewhere is it, like Microsoft Online docs or whatever its called? Did you check your 'sent' mail? Sorry for pointing out the obvious, but you did say you were tipsy ;-)

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  24. Of course it was the best blog post ever written and I would have laughed, and cried, and admired you for your brilliance, I was going to suggest more wine .. but aren't you supposed to be giving some talk at Hornsby? Not that I'm some crazy stalker or anything ... you keep TWEETING about this stuff!

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  25. Oh my goodness, they say laughter is hte best medicine, that made me laugh!!! Thankyou xx

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  26. I am deeply moved by your tale of loss

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Thanks! Love hearing from you.

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