The Truth

On Tuesday I've released my second book, The Little Book of Anxiety, and since then I've been doing the round of interviews. Some of the questions I've been asked have been deeply perceptive and thought provoking, some have been fairly standard. But there are questions that none of the interviewers have asked, questions that beg to be spoken, questions that you, the readers, deserve to have answered.

So for you, my blog readers, I have asked those questions. And then, I have answered.

So, Kerri, what does your rabbit think of the book?

Um.. nothing. For one thing, he doesn't read. For another thing, he was eaten by a fox recently.

Oh. I'm sorry to hear it. Well then, what does your publisher think of your book?

He thinks it's great. Thats, er, why he decided to publish it.

Why did you choose to write under a pseudonym?

Um.. I didn't. Kerri Sackville is my real name.

Oh. You look more like a 'Patty' to me. Well then why is it called The Little Book of Anxiety? It looks fairly well sized.

Um... that was supposed to be ironic. You know. A play on self-help books?

But it's not a self-help book. It's a memoir.

Well, yeah. That's why it's ironic.

So you actually have anxiety? Yourself?

Yes, I do. That's... you know... why I wrote the book.

Oh! So do you have valium in your house?

Well... yes, a little bit. Just for emergencies.

Where exactly? Bathroom cabinet? Kitchen? Sock drawer?

I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable answering that question.

Fine. So what would you rate your book out of ten?

Are you serious?

Totally. I mean, if you don't even rate it - and you're the author - what should we think?

It's a ten. For sure. I'm very proud of it.

You talk about nail biting in your book and yet your nails are clearly very long. Why did you lie?

I didn't lie! I have acrylic nails now! I wrote about that!

Oh. That must have been in very small print.

It was in the same print as the rest of the book!

Yeah, whatever. Patty Sackville, thanks for joining us.

Er... right. Thank you.