Okay, so maybe enough with the monikers.
My point is this: by the time my family and I visited the set of Modern Family the following week - one of my absolute favorite TV shows (along with Mad Men, 30 Rock and Young Talent Time) - I wasn't nervous at all. Excited, but not nervous. And I liked not feeling nervous. I was, like, totally Hollywood.
We were visiting Modern Family because our friend Michael is one of the directors of the show. (An Emmy winning director, mind you, and my god that statue is heavy).
|Me with Mi(chael)'s Emmy|
"Are we going to meet Sofia Vergara's breasts?" The Architect enquired.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"Are we meeting Sofia Vergara? The one who plays Gloria?"
"You asked if we were meeting her breasts!"
My husband rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. So are we or not?"
"Meeting her breasts?"
We arrived at the lot at 10am and were greeted by Rachael, the delightful production assistant assigned to shlep us around in a golf buggy and fetch us donuts whenever we were hungry.
And just in case you didn't read that the first time, we had a production assistant assigned to shlep us around the lot in a golf buggy and fetch us donuts whenever we were hungry. I may be comfortable around celebrities now, but my god that gave me a thrill.
We were shown onto the Modern Family set, and it looked exactly like it did on TV, which probably shouldn't have come as a surprise to someone as Hollywood as me. Though the rooms had no ceilings, they were completely enclosed, with four walls and doors and furniture. We posed for photos on the iconic couches in which the characters are 'interviewed', and examined the contents of the prop fridges and cupboards. My son was delighted to find real food in the refrigerator, and if I hadn't been such an old hand at visiting sets, I may have been a little delighted too.
|On Jay & Gloria's couch|
We watched some filming, a scene involving Claire (Julie Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell) and their daughter Haley (Sarah Hyland) and suddenly all my Hollywood coolness fell away. They were incredible. The scene was reshot at least eight or nine times, and every single time the actors' nuances were detailed, their performances were subtly different, and the scene was as freshly hilarious as it was the first time. They deserved every Emmy they have won and I was awed.
For a painful moment, I wished desperately I had not given up my promising career as an actress. And then, for an even more painful moment, I remembered how crap I had been, and how the only award I would possibly have won would have been Waitress of the Month (and as I'm clumsy, impatient and rude, it's doubtful I even would have won that).
|Sarah Hyland & Ty Burrell & me|
After the filming, Rachael took us on a tour of the Fox lot like the VIPs we (wished desperately we) were. Then we chugged back to the set, and met several cast members, which, had I not been so used to meeting big celebrities, might have given me a bit of a thrill.
|Rico Rodriguez II|
|Me & Eric Stonestreet|
The Architect was crushed, and for that I am sorry, by my god I was relieved.
And if I wasn't so totally Hollywood, I might say it was bloody awesome.