March 4, 2010

Follow Your Intuition

Here's something you don't know about me: I have been trying to cultivate my own psychic powers since I was a child. I didn’t have a particular aim in mind, I just thought it would be fun to read people’s minds and predict the future (and, hopefully, use my powers for evil instead of good).

Sadly, though, I’ve been spectacularly unsuccessful. Just last week, for example, I was called upon to predict the gender of my friend’s unborn baby. I placed my hands on her belly, got in touch with my inner wisdom, and was overcome with the sense that the child was a girl. The next day my friend had her pre-natal testing and told me the shattering news: her baby girl will grow up highly conflicted, as apparently she has a rather well formed penis.

It forced me to acknowledge that in the last few years I have predicted the gender of seven babies incorrectly and absolutely none correctly. Even by the law of averages I should have got some of them right. I suppose my unfailingly flawed intuition is really a gift in itself.

You know how psychics can predict what you’re going to say? Well, I wouldn’t have a clue what you’re going to say. In fact, half the time I don’t know what you’re going to say even after you’ve said it, which only proves that my memory is as bad as my telepathy.

Nor can I work out what other people are thinking. For years I’ve tried to read my husband’s mind, but have never succeeded. Of course, that’s just because I keep believing he’s thinking about something deep, when he’s really just thinking about work.

I do sometimes tell my husband to think of a colour, and occasionally I manage to guess it correctly, but that’s just because he always answers ‘blue’. Frustratingly, though, my husband can read my mind perfectly. Of course, that’s just because I’m always thinking about food.

I’ve made many attempts to perform telepathic communication with friends and family (kind of like sending a text message without using a phone), but these have also been unqualified failures. The closest I came was when I sent thought waves to my mother to call me, and a minute later the phone rang. Unfortunately it was just a telemarketer from India, who hung up in confusion when I called him ‘Mum’.

I suppose it’s not surprising that I don’t have psychic powers, as I don’t even have gut instincts. Actually that’s not true; I do have gut instincts, they’re just completely HOPELESS. I’ll meet a new person and my gut will tell me she’s fabulous and that she’s going to be my soul mate for life. Three weeks later she’ll tell me that she was a vampire in another life, and I’ll be forced to admit that my gut was wrong.

My gut instinct also gets me into terrible trouble on the roads. I’ll be driving home and my gut will tell me to turn right, which is the exact opposite direction in which I should be heading. And because my gut isn’t just telling me to turn right, but is also shouting gleefully, “Yippee! We’re nearly there!” I keep heading down the highway and don’t think to stop for directions until I end up in Perth.

Still, I haven’t given up on developing my psychic powers. I’m sure that with time it will happen. I don’t actually have any evidence to support this, my intuition just tells me it will.

Do you have any psychic powers? Or is your intuition as crap as mine?

14 comments:

  1. Yep, I'm pretty sure I'm at a pretty similar level of crap on the super-psychic-abilities scale. For instance, I just KNEW that we were going to win the Boystown Lottery home on the Sunshine Coast in January. You can imagine my surprise when someone in DeeWhy *stole* it out from under us. Shocking!

    And BTW, I totally said I was an Umpire in a past life, not a vampire. Y'know, I just wanted to clarify.

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  2. I think my intuition is ok... It's my sense of direction which is shit-house. I had a friend whose house I went to the other day.. I was driven there, I was rather intoxicated and then the next day I was driven home.. A week later said friend sent me a txt asking me to come round again for a visit.. I had to admit I had no idea how to get there or even what direction to take, lest I end up in Adelaide! And I *don't* want to go there! This sense of direction is even better still when ppl give me an address for somewhere and I have to go and can't understand that I can't read a map... O_o

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  3. It's not thant you don't have an ability, it's that you have not been reading it correctly, think of it like looking in the mirror, and next time when you have a gut feeling, just do the exact oposite, and hey Bingo!

    :)

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  4. My husband is similarly directionally challenged. He reliably goes the wrong direction every single time. You can navigate by his instincts by simply going the opposite way to the one he thinks you should.

    I, on the other hand, am perfect. Naturally.

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  5. This cracked me up Kerri. But I'm too tired to think of anything funny to add in return. But you knew that already, right?

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  6. Well, I don't know about you lot, but I am actually psychic.

    One time, I thought that I ought to call my Nana but I was being lazy so I just thought I would do it later. But, I kid you not, 3 minutes later my Nana rang about the exact same thing that I was going to ring her about.

    Another time, I asked my Mother if the same Nana was coming over but she did not know. And literally, 30 seconds later the phone rings and it is my Nana saying that she is coming over.

    Psychic, I know.

    I'm also pretty intuitive in my dreams. About a year ago I had a dream about the International Centre building at my university. A building I had never seen before, and I university I didn't even know I was going to. Then I have other dreams about things that happen, friends hooking up with boys, daily events and other eerie things that I predict.

    But I don't do tea readings. Hehehe ;)

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  7. I'm obviously psychically challenged, as I continue to buy the wrong lottery tickets, hoping to win so I can buy a Mac. The only thing I can forecast is that this eight year old PC is going to cark it sometime soon .Of that, I am certain.....

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  8. I have zero psychic abilities, add to that predictions too . . . even with a psych degree my family disprove the old 'previous behaviour predicts future . . .' as they suddenly turn on you with good or bad. My husband can read my mind/ moods, even waking from his sleep to tell me to stop thinking, get my tongue off the back of my teeth - i know, in the dark!! I refuse to live with the disappointment of guessing incorrectly continuously, i can't let it die, i will always try try try for that illusive correct guess.
    I do have excellent mother's intuition/ instincts, but that's all, emotional not common sense. Love Posie

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  9. I have lots of gut feelings about things i just fail to trust them and then wish later i had! This morning i went to the toilet at 3 am and forgot to shut the door - i stumbled back to bed and thought i should do it otherwise my mental cats will shred the toilet roll. I promptly fell back to sleep after this and then woke again at 6am to find a shredded toilet roll - genius i tell you genius!!
    So don't give up on your talents - just go with the opposite!

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  10. Shhh..I am seeing...you, with a dollop of Nutella on your chin and a pore strip on your nose. Am I right ? All jokes aside, I had an eerily vivid dream of a friend of mine in a very distinct house, being surrounded by bush fires. It was about two nights before Black Saturday. Just after Black Saturday I saw a home listed on a real estate site in Marysville that was the exact house I had dreamt of. It was really, really freaky and left me quite shaken.

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  11. Intuition, psychic powers, gut feelings etc, whatever you want to call them... I think we all have these gifts to a greater or lesser extent. You know if you have them. I don't believe you can manufacture them or make them work for you at will. In the years to come I bet we will come to know much more about these particular human powers.

    I have always had a really good intuition and gut feelings about people and things. When I chose to ignore them, it has always been at my peril. There was the job that I just knew I shouldn't accept. I had a really bad feeling during the interview and after I left the interview the feeling became stronger and stronger. Foolishly I accepted the job when I was offered it (because I knew it would look good on my CV and would be a challenge and an opportunity to learn some new skills). I had the worst 12 months of my working life.

    There have been times I have had a very strong feeling about someone that I have met. On occasion it has caused me to feel terribly sad and scared for them. And bad things have happened. After one of these, I told my husband about the feelings I experienced before. He said "Well I suppose if you worry about enough things, some of them are bound to come true". I was so cross with him because what he didn't understand was that although I am a worrier, the strong feelings that I had were not active worrying feelings, but like a nagging ache coming from deep inside me.

    Sometimes I will pick up a fragility in someone, even though to the rest of the world he/she appears robust and strong. In time the fragility comes out and is seen by others.

    When I was pregnant with my first child, I told people that I just knew the baby was going to be a boy and he would be born on the 5th April. I had a natural birth and my son was born on the 5th of April (even though he was officially due on the 7th April). When I was pregnant with my third child I had really strong feelings that my baby was going to be a girl, and I did indeed have a girl. I didn't have strong feelings about the gender of my second child and just had no idea whether it was a 'he' or a 'she'. It turned out to be a 'he'.

    When I was living overseas I sent my sister a letter (this was before the internet and emails) saying that she was about to be offered a job. She had been out of work for a while. She received my letter on the day she was offered a job. I didn't know she had gone for an interview.

    I can't make predictions. I just feel certain things. I can't try to feel the answer to something. I can't pick winning numbers. What I have is more like a really sensitive and acute feeling about certain people and events. I liken it to a sense like 'hearing' or 'seeing.' Some things are just really loud for me and I can hear them. Or they a within my view and I can just see them, At other times they are out of my range of hearing or just too far away for me to see.

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  12. Wow, Lorelei, that's fascinating.
    I must say, I knew 100% the gender of each of my kids before they were born, before they told me at the scan. In fact, wtih my third child, they told me initially that it was a boy, and I KNEW they were wrong. At the next scan, I was proved to be right.
    That's about the extent of my abilities, though!

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  13. Intuition, psychic powers, gut feelings etc, whatever you want to call them... I think we all have these gifts to a greater or lesser extent. You know if you have them. I don't believe you can manufacture them or make them work for you at will. In the years to come I bet we will come to know much more about these particular human powers.

    I have always had a really good intuition and gut feelings about people and things. When I chose to ignore them, it has always been at my peril. There was the job that I just knew I shouldn't accept. I had a really bad feeling during the interview and after I left the interview the feeling became stronger and stronger. Foolishly I accepted the job when I was offered it (because I knew it would look good on my CV and would be a challenge and an opportunity to learn some new skills). I had the worst 12 months of my working life.

    There have been times I have had a very strong feeling about someone that I have met. On occasion it has caused me to feel terribly sad and scared for them. And bad things have happened. After one of these, I told my husband about the feelings I experienced before. He said "Well I suppose if you worry about enough things, some of them are bound to come true". I was so cross with him because what he didn't understand was that although I am a worrier, the strong feelings that I had were not active worrying feelings, but like a nagging ache coming from deep inside me.

    Sometimes I will pick up a fragility in someone, even though to the rest of the world he/she appears robust and strong. In time the fragility comes out and is seen by others.

    When I was pregnant with my first child, I told people that I just knew the baby was going to be a boy and he would be born on the 5th April. I had a natural birth and my son was born on the 5th of April (even though he was officially due on the 7th April). When I was pregnant with my third child I had really strong feelings that my baby was going to be a girl, and I did indeed have a girl. I didn't have strong feelings about the gender of my second child and just had no idea whether it was a 'he' or a 'she'. It turned out to be a 'he'.

    When I was living overseas I sent my sister a letter (this was before the internet and emails) saying that she was about to be offered a job. She had been out of work for a while. She received my letter on the day she was offered a job. I didn't know she had gone for an interview.

    I can't make predictions. I just feel certain things. I can't try to feel the answer to something. I can't pick winning numbers. What I have is more like a really sensitive and acute feeling about certain people and events. I liken it to a sense like 'hearing' or 'seeing.' Some things are just really loud for me and I can hear them. Or they a within my view and I can just see them, At other times they are out of my range of hearing or just too far away for me to see.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, I don't know about you lot, but I am actually psychic.

    One time, I thought that I ought to call my Nana but I was being lazy so I just thought I would do it later. But, I kid you not, 3 minutes later my Nana rang about the exact same thing that I was going to ring her about.

    Another time, I asked my Mother if the same Nana was coming over but she did not know. And literally, 30 seconds later the phone rings and it is my Nana saying that she is coming over.

    Psychic, I know.

    I'm also pretty intuitive in my dreams. About a year ago I had a dream about the International Centre building at my university. A building I had never seen before, and I university I didn't even know I was going to. Then I have other dreams about things that happen, friends hooking up with boys, daily events and other eerie things that I predict.

    But I don't do tea readings. Hehehe ;)

    ReplyDelete

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